Little Chicks!

The dove eggs hatched! Not only that, the dove chicks are older than what I expected them to be. They already have their pin feathers, which means that they must have been hatched for a little while. I was hoping that I would catch them fresh from the egg, so to speak, but I missed the boat.

I am still extremely satisfied that they look healthy. I really hope they fully fledge out to adult birds and fly away into the wild blue yonder. That would make me so very happy.

Time for chick pictures!

From mourningdove

From mourningdove

From mourningdove

From mourningdove

The cuteness of the chicks melts my heart into a puddle of goo. Seriously.

⊗

"Do you smoke green?"

Well, I used to smoke green, but I never knew I was that obvious to the world about it.

Today I had the weirdest interaction with a random stranger I still can't believe it actually happened. It started like this:

I spent some extra time at school to study for a quiz later this week, which meant that I left school one hour later than usual. I got on the bus, and, presumably, a stoner sat next to me. No big deal, I sit next to people on the bus all the time. I would also assume that a surprising portion of the people who I do sit next to are probably stoned, but I wouldn't know. It is public transportation. So a few minutes into the bus ride this guy hands me his smart phone. Displayed on the screen was some "l337 speek" along the lines of, "Hey man, Do U smoke Green?" I handed the phone back to him not really knowing what he was asking, and truthfully, not really knowing what to do. This guy was like asked me, "Well...do you?" So I told the truth and told him that I used to smoke quite a bit, but I stopped because I did it too much. He then stated that he just arrived from a far-off location and had a "big stash" he was looking to unload. Well now...That was the end of the conversation that we had on the bus.

We both disembarked the bus at the bus terminal, and curiosity got the best of me. So this stoner guy was near me and I struck up a conversation. I asked him what gave me away? I asked him what made him think that I was part of that culture. He was like, "Well, I looked at you and I could tell because of the hat, the beard, the chain, and the earrings." After that we talked a little bit more. Apparently he just arrived from Forth Worth, Texas, which means he probably had Mexican weed.

Well now, I guess I just look like a stoner. *scoff*

So I've told all of the pool people about this story, and they were asking me if I actually bought some weed. I did not, and I made sure they knew it. I'm just wondering, again, what is the chance that some random stoner guy would ask me, out of the blue, as to whether I was looking to score some weed. What are the chances? You know, if he asked me two weeks ago I would have taken him up on his offer, but alas, I am drying myself out. This is such a random occurrence that I can hardly believe it.

My life is extreme random occurrences. This one is just a bit benign. That is all.

Me "being a stoner."


⊗

Peanut Butter Bread

Today is the last day that I have marijuana. I smoked my last: It is gone. I'm going to go dry for a while just to see if I can. I think I can...but the first few weeks might be "itchy."

Of course, whenever I smoke weed, I think big thoughts. This time I was thinking about my habits, and where they possibly come from. Infrequently, in my past, people would tell me that I tend to obsess about things. I think they were right. At the end of March I realized that I obsessed about things that didn't do me any good; but after I thought that I tried to identify the source of that obsession, or compulsion. Then I started thinking about my youth.

\\\In My Youth

I used to spread peanut butter on a slice of bread really, really obsessively. Meticulously. Precisely, and exactly. I was obsessed with a perfectly smooth peanut butter surface. There had to be no wrinkles, or butter-knife swipes, in the surface pattern of the peanut butter. It was as smooth as ice. I was obsessed with perfectly lined-up edges of peanut butter to the edge of the crust of the bread. There had to be no bare spots of bread exposing to the surface, or through the surface, of the peanut butter. There had to be no gooey overflow of peanut butter over the edge of the crust of the bread...at all. It was as if the slice of bread had a perfect stamp, of the silhouette of the bread, of peanut butter on its surface.

The peanut butter was literally perfectly spread in every conceivable way. And I loved it.

I remember this process taking a long time, in my mind back in my youth. I knew it took me "longer than usual" to spread peanut butter on a slice of bread. I think I was OK with that, back then -- but I didn't realize how long in duration it actually took me to simply spread peanut butter on bread.

Getting the surface of the peanut butter perfectly smooth was the ritual that took the most time. Spreading the peanut butter to the edges without overflow isn't that challenging. The real challenge was the surface. I remember it took me a long time, of many practice sessions, to execute the techniques I could use to manifest a perfectly smooth surface of peanut butter. The next most challenging thing about the perfectly smooth surface was that the perfect smoothness had to extend to the edges of the crust of bread. Remember, the edges of the peanut butter spread were as if it was stamped at the same time the bread was. So I would "pass over" the edge of the slice of bread with a knife loaded with peanut butter: I would then gently "lift higher" my hand as it approached the edge of the bread. That was how I achieved that uniform smoothness all the way to the edge. And I think I still love it.

My sisters would laugh and think how obsessive my actions were. (They are, Nick!) They would say, "Oh! Nick is spreading peanut butter again. He'll be busy for 25 minutes!" Here is the absolutely crazy thing: It really, literally took me that long to actually spread peanut butter on one slice of bread! My mom was less entertained, and slightly more concerned. I mean, the time duration, for an action that 99% of the other population would have executed in sixty seconds flat, took me nearly a half an hour!

Strangely, I never cared that much about jelly. It could by applied in any chaotic way.

Eventually, the stress of simply spreading peanut butter on a slice of bread became too much. I was so obsessed with the absolute perfection of spread peanut butter, I literally had to go dry! I literally gave up PB & J sandwiches for a little while back in my youth because I couldn't deal with the stress of spreading peanut butter. My mom, and my sisters, would sometimes offer PB & J sandwiches for lunch, and I conscientiously opted out because I knew that if I started making a sandwich...I wouldn't be able to actually stop until I was done:  Until the peanut butter was spread perfectly. I used to tell my family, "I'm too mature for peanut butter and jelly sandwiches." My family would say, "We're 'mature' and we enjoy peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. You can still eat them, too." I really did enjoy eating the sandwiches, they tasted great; but taste is irrelevant when I would get trapped in the ritual of a perfectly smooth peanut butter spread on a slice of bread. When I started, I wouldn't, and couldn't stop until the spread was perfect.

This excuse went on for a while. I believe I was around 9 years old when I finally got over the obsession of perfectly smooth peanut butter spreads on slices of bread. I don't remember exactly how long my self-imposed dry spell from the ritual lasted: I have a feeling it might have lasted for a few months. I just remember knowing, in a fundamental way, that the treat, and by proxy the ritual, had to be avoided for a while because it was controlling me in some way. Curiously, whenever I spread peanut butter, to this day, I have to remind myself that it is Simply OK to have an uneven, wavy surface of peanut butter on a slice of bread, with some of the bread and crust showing through. It is OK to have peanut butter run over the edge of the bread and *gasp* touch your finger when you grab it from the sides.

I think I'm trying to go dry from the weed, too. I've been smoking heavily since the beginning of December of 2010. My stash ran out now, and that really does worry me a little bit. The weed really did enable me to identify some hidden-away aspects of my personality, and because of that, I think it made me a better person. At the same time I simply did too much of it, and it took up too much of my time. I rarely showed self-control with this habit, and it owned me. Curiously, I never went to school intoxicated, but I did everything else intoxicated. Just so you know, bicycle rides are a blast while toasty -- and that was the most positive-benign thing I did. I just need to move on. I think I've had enough fun for a while, with the weed, and now I need to learn how to identify the things inside myself that make do the things I do, without weed. I think I can do it, but it might take a while to master. I think I'll also smoke again in the future, but not now. I need to know...how to control myself and my obsessions. Adults show self-control, not little kids.

⊗

The Internet Confusion

Just think: I honestly thought downloading two free games from the PlayStation Network would be an easy ordeal.

Ever since Sony got hacked by some very savvy criminals, the PSN was knocked out of commission for practically six weeks. As a special bonus, Sony is giving away two free games (of its choosing) to PSN users, and it is also giving away one free month of PSN+ to all users. I think to myself, "Great, this might be the time to download a few free titles."

Well, I started the process yesterday, and I have yet to finish it. I haven't finished the process because the PSN is still a little bit cracked and unstable by all the security patches and upgrades. I knew something was wrong with the network when, every other page, I continually kept getting "error codes" that would kick me back to the previous page. I somehow successfully downloaded my first free title without too much difficulty. The strange thing is my first free game took a long time to download. It only started coming down the pipe with any mentionable speed when I put the download in the background and exited the PSN store.

But hey, that worked. Today I picked my second game, and I got that same error code right at the moment I chose my game. Well, the PSN thinks I downloaded my second game, so now I am completely unable to download the second game that was given to me because some network can't get its act together yet. I'm a bit miffed, but at the same time, it was legitimate free media, so I really can't complain too much about it, right? I still wanted my second free game, but at the sme time I knew I was screwed if I was going through the PSN, so I thought that I would email them to try and rectify my situation. Of course the regular internet I use so much is having issues of its own.

I copy down the customer service hotlink through the PSN, and I attempt to actually email that company through their messaging system on their web site. Well...since I block so much shit using Firefox plug-ins, the secure web page had to be reloaded six times -- after each plug-in was disabled -- just so I could request an other attempt at downloading my second game! Even then, I never found that little code that was being blocked, so I had to open up my plug-in tab, disable everything, reload the browser, and submit my request. It was so bureaucratic. AND THEN, after all that unnecessary bullshit, the goddamn website still demands proof that I am an actual human by throwing forth a damn "captcha" screen.



Incredibly, half of the captcha image was in goddamn Chinese characters! So I guess I'm supposed to...I don't know...hunt-and-peg some goddamn keyboard combination to try to guess this captcha. I had to refresh the captcha three times to get to something I could actually fucking type! *URGH* I think it is...interesting...how Sony goes balls-deep to prevent scammers from barraging their services with spam, but yet actual customers have to deal with actual spam from Sony.

Then again, hopefully I do get my free second game.

⊗

My secksii new body.

OK. I've been trying to be humble about the fact I look damn good. I mean, I've been going to the gym for approximately one year plus two weeks, and the hard work I've put into my body has really paid off.

Basically: After laying off the excessive snacking, eating right, eating modestly, going to the gym an average of twice a week (Until the last month, in which I've been going more often), and losing 27 pounds, I look damn good.

I like my new body.



It looks like I'm eating my camera in this pic.








I just stepped out of the shower. Since we have new plumbing; right at the moment I was taking this picture, the shower went 'gurgle, gurgle, gurgle.' It was a bit disconcerting.


Serious look is serious. Or rather; La Tigre.


Fuck yeah.

⊗

Breaking and Tresspassing.

Last Friday (the 18^th) was really interesting. And frightening.

It all started on Friday morning. I woke up early with the intent of arriving at Parkland College earlier than usual so I could study lightly for two tests just to brush up on some knowledge. I realized I wasn’t going to be able to do that so I instead decided to arrive at the usual time...and allow fate to dictate my grades. Since I had approximately 25 minutes until I had to leave the house, I decided to clear my head and try to relax since I was freaking out about the two tests on the same day. So I walk around the back yard. Since the back yard is connected to Trent’s yard, I walked over on his property just to add some length to my walk. I then noticed that his pool fence was ajar. Even then, I wouldn’t have even noticed if it wasn’t for the fact that morning was breezy which knocked the fence closed, alerting me to its unsecured state. So I lock the fence and go to school. No big deal.

Friday afternoon I come back and I feel sufficiently confident that I performed satisfactorily on the two tests. However, I was still keyed up, so I go to walk around the back yards again. There I notice that part of the fence that surrounds both properties has a loose board. That was when I thought that the broken fence and the opened fence gate were probably connected somehow. I just couldn’t figure out how.

Then it dawned on me:  Someone might have jumped the fence and simply exited Trent’s property through his pool gate. When I realized this I was truly freaking out. I had my digital camera with me to take pictures of the “crime scene,” all the while I was like, “Doesn’t anyone care that there is gang activity in a good neighborhood?!” I mean, I was yelling out loud in the back yard like a crazy person because I was so damn scared.

Then, I began to connect even more dots in my mind. The more dots I connected, the more I was truly having a fit outside like a typical schizophrenic. Since Saturday was a “super moon” event, the previous few nights were lit up for anyone to adequately see where he was going by the moon!

This is what I think happened:  There was a confrontation nearby. We only live a few blocks from college student housing, so a serious fight could have occurred. Perhaps it really was gang activity in my neighborhood. I think some young urban kid, probably around 16, might have been running for his life from one, or a few, attackers, who I think might have been 17 or 18. I think that the kid who was running for his life diverted down the alley next to Phillip’s house and climbed his fence. That would have been easy for anyone since the cross-beams of Phillip’s face outside to the public. The running kid then launched himself from the top of Phillip’s fence over Trent’s fence. Again, that would have been easy regardless of the fact Trent’s fence is eight feet tall. The fleeing person didn’t have to scale an eight foot fence; he only had to shuffle on top of a shorter fence and jump over another fence that was only a bit taller: He only had three feet to go from the top of Phillip’s fence.

Again, I don’t know what happened at all because, frankly, anything could have happened that dislodged the plank of wood from the fence. Kevin told me that boards loosen themselves all the time, so that could have been normal wear. I would have believed him...but then again the pool gate was unsecured and I don’t think any of Trent’s friends have been on his property lately. If there was a fleeing kid, I also think he managed to escape his attackers simply be cutting through Trent’s back yard.

URGH! I’m still nervous about this situation. How did the gate get opened? Why did the plank fall off away from the fence? Did someone really tresspass on our property?

I guess I’ll have to be vigilant on the back yard for the rest of this summer to try to see if there are other discrepancies. Or maybe I should get a motion-activated camera.

The loosened (but how?) plank.


The path the fleeing person might have taken along the far side of the pool and house.


Trent's gate that was ajar Friday morning.

⊗

The Rain of Luck

At the beginning of this week, I've just been hitting a really lucky break. I mean...real luck, like astounding, out-of-the-blue things that are making me think the universe is really shifting its gears and giving me a break.

First off, like I mentioned before, I managed to score an 80% on my second business calculus test. I felt pretty good at that triumph, but at the same time it almost felt like a present. Somehow. I accepted the grade with gratitude. When I realized that had a "lucky break" I didn't think anymore would occur.

And then, literally out of the blue, I read a mysterious email in my inbox. The email was from LiveJournal. That email stated that a fellow LiveJournal user actually gifted me a paid account for a year! I don't know what inspired allah_sulu to just give a random guy on a dying blogging site a $25 gift, but I thought that gift was truly an epic example of random kindness. On top of the new account level, another LJ user gifted me a random virtual gift to me, too (bad_acid). It was a wind-fall of LJ-goodness. So now I have all these features that I should really begin to utilize, but I've been busy with the monumental yard work I still have to start.

And speaking of the yard: While I was driving all over Urbana to various green-houses, I experienced more luck, too. I was at the green house on University Ave (I forgot the name) shopping for prairie grasses and flowers for the dead corner of the back yard. While I was at the check-out aisle, I looked over my shoulder and saw a really nice wind chime that was made in Texas. I looked at the price and I could see that it was $60. I was like, "What the Hell," so I bought the wind chime. The manager who was checking me out told me that since that wind chime was there for a long time she was going to give me a discount. I was pretty excited about that, but I didn't expect a 25% discount on an expensive item! The wind chime was originally $60, but the new price was $45. I saved $15...and I think that is luck, too! I mean, again, how many random -- but awesome -- events can happen back-to-back in such a short amount of time?

On Monday: A good test grade; A gifted paid account on LiveJournal.
On Tuesday: An unexpected discount at the green house; The LJ virtual gift.

So...does luck run out? I'm about to start a huge yard project that will either be great, or atrocious. I would really like the hard work I'm going to do to be actually worth it. I want, first off, the dead corner of the back yard to look nice...instead of burned by the sun. I also want to do something nice for Kevin since he has supported me, and still supports me still; I guess I'm trying to make my half of the relationship amicable. I want to say that I did "something" for him without him nagging me to start something, or finish something, or to try something new. The yard project will take several days. I know this. The yard isn't the only thing I have to do. I also told Kevin that I would surprise him with a chocolate cake. Hell, I've never made one of those before. I'm worried that I'll ruin the cake and I would have wasted the time and energy into a botched recipe.

Anyway...that is the future, and the future is unknowable until I observe it. The yard...I'm hoping...will be OK. The cake -- which I promised Kevin, which means I have to bake it -- should be OK. The house will be OK when I clean it, too. The house chores are the least of my problems.

I have quite a bit on my plate for the foreseeable future.

⊗

The Black Hole Wall Dream

For the past week I've been thinking about a recurring nightmare I used to have very, very early in my life. I find it strange it is the very first dream I remember having.

The dream starts with me, at my current age of 4. That was when I dreamt this dream. There are other people in the kitchen where I am at. They are across the room looking out into the living room...they are all gathered around the doorway to the other room entranced and scared. In the living room, there was an anomaly.

Somehow, a perfectly black wall appeared when no one was looking in the upper corner of the ceiling looking down toward the floor at a shallow angle. The black hole wall displaced the matter it appeared into. It was just there as if it had always been there...except at the weird angle it was canted toward the floor.

Very, Very cautiously, we all approach the black hole wall. The older boys are closer to the black hole wall than I am. I am too afraid to go near it. Such fear I've felt.

The older boys are chatting secretly with each other. They are excited but trying to muffle their voices low. Away from the gathering, there is one lone older boy who is not in the conversation. The gathered boys are talking about him...incredulously. The gathered boys talk to the lone boy and the lone boy looks sad and scared. The other boys point not at him, but past him toward the black hole wall.

He approaches the black hole wall...it is inches from his face. The other boys are chanting, "Touch it...touch it...touch it...touch it now." The loner boy does not want to touch the black hole wall. He does not know what will happen. The other boys don't know what will happen. I don't know what will happen. We all know that we don't know what will happen when Loner Boy touches the black hole wall.

He touched the black hole wall. And something so curious, and so quick, and so weird, words can barely, adequately explain the event that happened after.

The very instant Loner Boy touched the black hole wall...he instantly disappeared. A weird auditory "sonic clap" would happen during the instantaneous vanishing. This sonic pop was so short in duration and so opposite of what an "explosion" should sound like, the only thing I can say about that sound is that it sounded like it exploded backwards.

Where did the boy go? No one knew. But now we knew. We now know there is a sudden, and quick event that it can barely be perceived and understood by normal human senses.

The boy was completely gone. Although...the transference wasn't perfect. There were signs that Loner Boy was once in existence. On the wall where he placed his fingers there were some locks of hair from the back of his head. Apparently, the only thing we could guess at was that Loner Boy was somehow pulled very VERY VERY quickly through the black hole wall, and his hair got stuck in the surface. We don't know why his hair got stuck there.

The boys wanted to know more, but how could they? It was my turn to touch the black hole wall. It was my turn and I knew, down the very bottom of my stomach that I should not touch the black hole wall. There was something on the other side I did not want to know.

The other older boys are chanting me one: "Touch it. Touch it. Touch it." I couldn't stop myself. I held my index finger on my right hand in front of my face. I look at my hand as I extend it to touch the wall. And then suddenly that weird inwards explosion vacuum-y noise is all around me. I am in the sound. It is suddenly gone and I am nowhere. I am in the most perfect black void that could ever be imagined. There is no matter. No light. There is no space. There is absolutely nothing that it could touch your face. I was looking out into infinity for a brief moment, and infinity is empty. It is devoid of dimension. Nothing is everywhere and you are so utterly alone in this void. The loneliness is so paralyzing. There is nothing to tie my consciousness to; there is no time. I now know nothingness. I am now part of it. Devoid of any sensory input because there is nothing. Such utter blackness.

And then...suddenly...I'm outside on a city street in a middle-class neighborhood. The other boys who touched the wall were alive, and with the remaining group. I join them. They are all laughing. They were like, "What was it like inside? Did it hurt? Do you think you're OK?" We felt OK. We tried to convey to them the emptiness that was everywhere and everything and inside. They didn't get it.

I find this dream weird because, for a nightmare, it has an ending. Traditional nightmares don't end. They just suddenly stop at the zenith of utter fear. They don't continue beyond that point. This nightmare I had had an ending. Not only that...the ending to this nightmare was...happy; celebratory. They survived something they couldn't understand, but they survived it. At the very end of the dream: They were hugging each other and patting each other on the back, and I think I might have been standing in the middle since I was the littlest. I think they were surrounding me, and we were all celebrating [something] somehow for our survival.

I really don't understand this dream. Is the black hole wall suicide? I've had a sneaky suspicion that the black hole wall dream is basically about suicide. But how, or why, would I subconsciously articulate suicide at such a young age. It baffles me and worries me. How does a 4-year-old know about suicide?

⊗

The Sea of Red

Since the middle of last week, to the end of last week, I studied hard for two tests that were had on this passing Friday; One test was in Business Calculus, and the other was in Business Accounting.

Friday rolls around, and I'm feeling cautiously optimistic. I really did study, and I felt I had a sufficiently good grasp of the concepts at hand. Calculus started, and I started with the test right away. Somewhere after I started, I began to doubt myself. That was when I suffered from severe test anxiety. So I panicked. Really. I answered the questions completely when I thought I had time, but since I was panicking, I basically flew through the rest of the test to try to answer the test questions as quickly as I could. After that class ended, I was feeling so low. I scored myself a 62, which is a "D" on my first test, and I was really hoping I would "make my money back" on the second test. Since I felt that I bombed the second test...I began to think of the future and how much it would have to change if I had to withdraw from this class again because of bad grades.

After the calculus test, I ran up to B-wing to take my Business Accounting test. That test was remarkably easier since it deals with easy algebra, and some memorization of equations. I didn't finish my accounting test until near the end of class, so I just thought I would wait until after class to wait to see what I got after my instructor graded the tests. Since a large portion of the other students in my class turned in their tests before I did, I could see my accounting instructor correcting those tests. Since Business Accounting is basically just an introductory course, what we actually had to know for this test wasn't terribly complicated...at all. However, I'm watching my accounting instructor correct those tests, and I could see her hand flying all over the tests with a red pen. I could also see her becoming visibly frustrated. After I turned in my test to her, I asked her if she could correct it before I left school on Friday. Frustrated, she told me that she corrects the tests in the order she receives them. I didn't fully expect her to correct my test before I left school, but she did. I got a 102 on it.

I was very happy I got that grade on my second accounting test because my first test score was so mediocre. Since this is just an introductory class for accounting the first test was a cake-walk. I only scored a high "C" on it. So I was happy with my test score for the second accounting test. Although...the grade I thought I was going to receive kept my joy bitter-sweet. Yes: I had one success, but I also had one monumental failure.

Or so I thought.

After my accounting test I ran over to my academic adviser and basically freaked the fuck out in front of her because I thought I bombed my second calculus test, and therefore thought that I would have to change my entire academic trajectory again. I asked her to ask my calculus instructor to see if I could re-take the second calculus test, and much to my surprise my academic adviser said that she doesn't have that much sway when asking instructors for certain breaks. She told me that I should instead contact her regarding my situation and see if there was some sort of remedy to my situation, like a possible re-take of that test. So I emailed my Business Calculus instructor yesterday (Sunday) and asked her if that was so.

Cut to today I happened upon my calculus instructor as she was walking into my class, and I asked her if she received my email. She said yes, but she also said that a re-take was not necessary because I scored an 80% on my second test.

Well now. Saddle my ass and ride me to Texas. Apparently I didn't bomb anything. Apparently I actually accomplished my goal of "any score above a 75 at the minimum." My original goal was something above an 85% but I also knew not to press my luck.

Yes. I freaked out on Friday. By proxy I also ruined my weekend a little bit. I simply couldn't relax and feel like I accomplished something good, like I did with my accounting test. The score I thought I received dictated my happiness level. But I did OK...so therefore I should feel happy now. And I do. I also feel...content (?).

I'm guessing this is one of these situations in which I will have to continue what I've been doing -- studying and doing homework often -- but also relaxing and giving myself a chance to have a success. I also need to stop panicking. If I didn't panic I would have scored a higher grade on my second calculus test. However, since calculus really is challenging, I do accept my 80 in good faith and gratitude.

⊗

Fly Away.

Last year Kevin spontaneously planned to go to New Zealand this winter, instead of flying to a Mountain state for skiing. This means that I am completely alone for the next two weeks.

Yay!

When Kevin told me that he was flying to the southern hemisphere last year, I thought he would be going during Spring Break. That would have been pretty damn good because I was also planning on surprising him with various tasks that needed to be done in the back yard. Specifically, I was planning on re-seeding the yard because of the invasive nimble weed that has displaced the regular grass. However, the nimble weed has covered approximately 80% of the back yard. My original plan was to completely rototill the soil, and then re-seed everything everywhere. Of course, that project would have been huge and expensive. It is a good thing that one of Kevin's neighbors happened to come by during the winter and tell me that would have been a monumental waste of time. Grass, if left to its own devices, will repopulate bare areas. Help doesn't hurt the grass; that was why he also suggested that I aerate the entire back lawn, throw down some fertilizer in the really bad spots, and then throw down some good grass seed. That way, I wouldn't have to break my back, and my budget, completely reworking the back yard.

When I showed him the back yard, in the middle of the winter, he showed me how the grass was infiltrating the bald spots where the nimble weed was eradicated. That made me happy.

However, I didn't stop there. Since Kevin has such a green thumb, I've been catching it through the years. During his trip to the mountains, I was also thinking of caring for the gardens in the back yard, too. I was thinking of completely roto-tilling the soil, fertilizing the gardens, and then throwing down a very mild, broad-spectrum fungicide-herbicide mix. For the past three years, we've been having trouble with mold spores on our tomato plants, and other pests, and I have been getting so sick and tired of constantly removing invasive bugs and plants. I am really hoping that the one-two punch of roto-tilling, fertilizer, and herbicide will significantly reduce the amount of bullshit we have to deal with this year.

But alas...Kevin's plans were not what I was expecting. Instead of him leaving for two weeks starting at the end of March, he instead is leaving for two weeks starting today. I'm still planning on executing my "Big Back-yard Plans," but I'll have to do them on my days off from school. I'm pretty sure I can execute 100% of everything I'm planning.

Since this is a big project, I also couldn't "surprise" him with a completely new back yard. So I told him what I was planning, and he is totally OK with it...for the most part. I know he gets paranoid whenever he repeatedly tells me things he does and does not want done in the name of lawn maintenance. I told him to relax because I'm not planning on...I don't know...renting a back-hoe and uprooting everything in the back yard. I'm just doing the same amount of maintenance he would do if he was here. Besides, when he has done his regular yard work in the past, he has usually done most of it. I wanted to surprise him with a yard he could actually enjoy...without the back-breaking labor. Besides, since the back-yard is totally "his," I wanted to make part of it "mine" by doing my own things and experimenting with regional plants.

Since yesterday I've already started a list of tasks that need to be done during the next two weeks. Perhaps I should also make a short shopping list of gardening things I need, too.

I think I'll have fun.

⊗

Fly away.

Last year Kevin spontaneously planned to go to New Zealand this winter, instead of flying to a Mountain state for skiing. This means that I am completely alone for the next two weeks.

Yay!

When Kevin told me that he was flying to the southern hemisphere last year, I thought he would be going during Spring Break. That would have been pretty damn good because I was also planning on surprising him with various tasks that needed to be done in the back yard. Specifically, I was planning on re-seeding the yard because of the invasive nimble weed that has displaced the regular grass. However, the nimble weed has covered approximately 80% of the back yard. My original plan was to completely rototill the soil, and then re-seed everything everywhere. Of course, that project would have been huge and expensive. It is a good thing that one of Kevin's neighbors happened to come by during the winter and tell me that would have been a monumental waste of time. Grass, if left to its own devices, will repopulate bare areas. Help doesn't hurt the grass; that was why he also suggested that I aerate the entire back lawn, throw down some fertilizer in the really bad spots, and then throw down some good grass seed. That way, I wouldn't have to break my back, and my budget, completely reworking the back yard.

When I showed him the back yard, in the middle of the winter, he showed me how the grass was infiltrating the bald spots where the nimble weed was eradicated. That made me happy.

However, I didn't stop there. Since Kevin has such a green thumb, I've been catching it through the years. During his trip to the mountains, I was also thinking of caring for the gardens in the back yard, too. I was thinking of completely roto-tilling the soil, fertilizing the gardens, and then throwing down a very mild, broad-spectrum fungicide-herbicide mix. For the past three years, we've been having trouble with mold spores on our tomato plants, and other pests, and I have been getting so sick and tired of constantly removing invasive bugs and plants. I am really hoping that the one-two punch of roto-tilling, fertilizer, and herbicide will significantly reduce the amount of bullshit we have to deal with this year.

But alas...Kevin's plans were not what I was expecting. Instead of him leaving for two weeks starting at the end of March, he instead is leaving for two weeks starting today. I'm still planning on executing my "Big Back-yard Plans," but I'll have to do them on my days off from school. I'm pretty sure I can execute 100% of everything I'm planning.

Since this is a big project, I also couldn't "surprise" him with a completely new back yard. So I told him what I was planning, and he is totally OK with it...for the most part. I know he gets paranoid whenever he repeatedly tells me things he does and does not want done in the name of lawn maintenance. I told him to relax because I'm not planning on...I don't know...renting a back-hoe and uprooting everything in the back yard. I'm just doing the same amount of maintenance he would do if he was here. Besides, when he has done his regular yard work in the past, he has usually done most of it. I wanted to surprise him with a yard he could actually enjoy...without the back-breaking labor. Besides, since the back-yard is totally "his," I wanted to make part of it "mine" by doing my own things and experimenting with regional plants.

Since yesterday I've already started a list of tasks that need to be done during the next two weeks. Perhaps I should also make a short shopping list of gardening things I need, too.

I think I'll have fun.

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Fuck Football.

I hate how fucking football has become a fucking religion in this country. I hate how fucking obsessive the football commentators are. I fucking hate how crazy the fans are. I hate how fucking spoiled the football players are. I fucking hate everything attached to football. It is a stupid fucking "sport" that no one else in the world plays that is overflowing with fat, stupid, ignorant people who have no real athletic ability.

You know...if America put as much energy into education as they did into football, we would really be living in a sci-fi Utopian future. There would hardly be any poverty or disease. There would be 99.999% clean energy and no pollution. There would be no overpopulation and everyone would live a middle-class lifestyle. There would also be plenty of left-over natural places for relaxation. We would have vacuum-tube, world-wide, cheap transportation just like on Futurama. Hell, we would probably be on our way to colonizing near-by Earth-like planets in massive colony ships. But no....we have to break for football...and that other stupid, homophobic, violent, ignorant religion called Christianity.

Fuck football.

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Eggplant Parmesan

Pan size →	9 x 9	9 x 13	10 x 14
Ingredients ↓
Eggs	3 or 4 eggs scrambled	4 or 5 eggs scrambled	5 or 6 eggs scrambled
Sauce	1 Jar of sauce of your choice. (Approximately 2 cups.)	1 or 2 jars of sauce of your sauce.(Between 2 to 4 cups of sauce.)	2 Jars of sauce of your choice plus maybe one 4-oz can of tomato sauce.(4+ cups of sauce.)
Cheese	1 package of shredded cheese of your choice.(2 cups.)	1 or 2 packages of shredded cheese of your choice. (Between 2 and 3 cups.)	2 packages of cheese of your choice.(4 cups.)
Eggplants	1 Medium and 1 small;or maybe 2 medium.	2 Medium	3 medium; or 2 medium and 1 large.

Other Ingredients you will need:

• Parmesan cheese (The stuff from the can is fine.)
• Seasoned breadcrumbs (of any variety [unseasoned, Italian, etc]).
• Olive oil (of any variety).

The necessary cooking hardware:

• Large Cast-iron pan
• 2 bowls (Of a sufficient size to hold staged eggplant slices.)
• Your lasagna pan (obviously)
• Plates lined with paper-towels
• Kitchen tongs.

The first step in anything you will ever do in your life is to stage your gear! I learned that in the Marine Corps. So far, that way of thinking has served me well. For this recipe, you will need to:

Gear Stage:
1. Stage at least one plate with a paper-towel on top of that plate. You will need to do that to absorb excess olive oil.
2. Stage your scrambled eggs in one bowl next to your breadcrumb bowl. Throw in a few spoonfuls of Parmesan cheese into the scrambled eggs. Use as much or as little as you want.
3. Stage your breadcrumbs in another bowl next to your egg wash bowl.
4. Wash your eggplants with clean water. After washing, slice your eggplants into approximate 1cm slices.
5. Cover the bottom of your lasagna pan with a moderate layer of sauce.
6. While slicing your eggplant you may want to pre-heat your cast-iron pan with 1cm of olive oil in the bottom on high. This step can be done after all the eggplant slices are ready for cooking.

Recipe Stage:
To start making this recipe you will need to:
1: Cover your eggplant slices with the egg wash.
2: Cover each washed eggplant slice with breadcrumbs. (You can stage multiple eggplant slices in the egg wash and the breadcrumb bowl.)
3: Gently place into the cast-iron pan using Kitchen tongs. Hot olive oil sometimes splatters, so you might also want to have a splash guard handy, although it probably won't be necessary.
4: Cook the eggplant slices 2 to 3 minutes per side. Each slice should be golden brown on each side when done.
5: Place one layer of cooked eggplant slices on paper towel. You can have multiple layers of paper towels per plate.
6: When all of your eggplant slices are cooked you will need to lay down one layer of eggplant into the lasagna pan.
7: Cover your first eggplant slice layer with a moderate amount of sauce first, followed by....
8: ....a moderate covering of shredded cheese.<
REMEMBER!: You will need to spread out the amount of egg wash, breadcrumbs, sauce, and cheese for the size of the pan you are using. While covering your eggplant slice layers, use your best judgment so you don't run out of a necessary ingredients during your prep time.
9: Repeat step 6 and place your next layer on top of your previous layer.
10: Repeat steps 6, 7, and 8 until all of your eggplant slices are used. You should get three complete layers of eggplant, sauce, and cheese, per dish. If you don't, that is OK. If your top layer does not have enough slices to completely cover the lower layer, just spread it out as evenly as you can.

Note A: If you have excessive spaces in between your eggplant slices, you can just dice the small eggplant slices and fill in the gaps.
Note B: If you realize you don't have enough egg wash or breadcrumbs to make it through your recipe, that is OK. Just scramble one more egg to give yourself enough wash, and just pour in some more breadcrumbs, into each respective bowl. Finding extra sauce or cheese might be more difficult, that is why I also suggest one extra 4-oz can of sauce. They can bump you up to where you need to be. If you are making a large recipe I suggest you have at least one near by.

Cooking Directions:
When your eggplant Parmesan is completely assembled, simply put it in a pre-heated oven until the cheese is bubbly and the top of the lasagna is lightly golden brown. The oven temp is set to 350.

Remember!: All cooking times, temperatures, and measurements are approximate. Practice, and have fun.

Gear Stage:
1. Stage at least one plate with a paper-towel on top of that plate. You will need to do that to absorb excess olive oil.

From eggplantparmesan

2. Stage your scrambled eggs in one bowl next to your breadcrumb bowl. Throw in a few spoonfuls of Parmesan cheese into the scrambled eggs. Use as much or as little as you want.
3. Stage your breadcrumbs in another bowl next to your egg wash bowl.

From eggplantparmesan

4. Wash your eggplants with clean water. After washing, slice your eggplants into approximate 1cm slices. Note: Ignore the partial capture of the sink with soapy water! I just used that sink to wash dirty dishes, not to wash the eggplants!]

From eggplantparmesan

From eggplantparmesan

5. Cover the bottom of your lasagna pan with a moderate layer of sauce.

From eggplantparmesan

6. While slicing your eggplant you may want to pre-heat your cast-iron pan with 1cm of olive oil in the bottom on high. This step can be done after all the eggplant slices are ready for cooking.

From eggplantparmesan

Recipe Stage:
1: Cover your eggplant slices with the egg wash.
2: Cover each washed eggplant slice with breadcrumbs. (You can stage multiple eggplant slices in the egg wash and the breadcrumb bowl.)
3: Gently place into the cast-iron pan using Kitchen tongs. Hot olive oil sometimes splatters, so you might also want to have a splash guard handy, although it probably won’t be necessary.

From eggplantparmesan

From eggplantparmesan

From eggplantparmesan

4: Cook the eggplant slices 2 to 3 minutes per side. Each slice should be golden brown on each side when done.
5: Place one layer of cooked eggplant slices on paper towel. You can have multiple layers of paper towels per plate.

From eggplantparmesan

From eggplantparmesan

6: When all of your eggplant slices are cooked you will need to lay down one layer of eggplant into the lasagna pan. Remember, you previously slathered the bottom of your lasagna pan with a moderate layer of sauce!

From eggplantparmesan

From eggplantparmesan

7: Cover your first eggplant slice layer with a moderate amount of sauce first, followed by....
8: ....a moderate covering of shredded cheese.

From eggplantparmesan

REMEMBER!: You will need to spread out the amount of egg wash, breadcrumbs, sauce, and cheese for the size of the pan you are using. While covering your eggplant slice layers, use your best judgment so you don't run out of a necessary ingredients during your prep time.
9: Repeat step 6 and place your next layer on top of your previous layer.
10: Repeat steps 6, 7, and 8 until all of your eggplant slices are used. You should get three complete layers of eggplant, sauce, and cheese, per dish. If you don't, that is OK. If your top layer does not have enough slices to completely cover the lower layer, just spread it out as evenly as you can.

The New HDTV

Finally, Kevin and I decided to upgrade our standard definition to a shiny, new HDTV. It was all pretty sweet actually.

Near the very end of last year (2010), Kevin was looking at HDTVs trying to figure out which brand and model would best serve us in his house. So we bounced back and forth between Sears and Best Buy, while I also perused Amazon.com for reader reviews. Since Kevin's house isn't huge, we decided that a 40" HDTV would be the best for the living room. As we researched the televisions, I came to the conclusion that a plasma TV would be the absolute best value for what we were willing to spend. Kevin was worried about energy consumption, so he was leaning heavily in favor of LED TVs. We were butting heads a little bit as to which type of HDTV we should get. Eventually we did come an agreement.

Through out troubles we decided that buying the 46" Aquos was the best deal. There were actually two different models that we were looking at, and we decided to buy the close-out model because it did not have integrated wifi. Since I already own a PS3, buying a TV with practically the same technology would have been a waste.

So Kevin bought the TV and we picked it up this passing Thursday. We unpacked it, and damn, the thing is huge. During the planning phase of our expenditure, we realized that the absolute largest HDTV we could accommodate would be a 43" flat-screen. This TV is three inches larger. So yes, it does overpower the living room when it is turned toward the couch. Although, the HDTV is really, surprisingly light, and only a few inches thick.

My only complaint against this TV is that it still has refresh issues with regard to my PS3 video games; namely, the fast action in first-person shooters is lost whenever the player (me) turns quickly left or right. Interesting. Now, this blur isn't too bad. It is something I am nearly used to. Hell, this TV actually displays detail, which is something I couldn't see on Kevin's old SDTV, so I'm really very grateful for that. I just feel that a plasma TV would have handled the requirements of current-generation video games. I also feel that Kevin overestimated the energy inefficiency when comparing different HDTVs to each other. So; if he believed that plasma TVs weren't energy sinks, he probably would have considered some of the models I suggested. Then we both would have been extremely satisfied.

Anyway...did we make a good decision? Yes we did. I'm happy because I can actually see detail when I play my video games, and I can experience true HD whenever I watch my BD movies; and I'll bet Kevin is happy because he'll be able to enjoy his brutish football games.

Naturally, things don't happen unless there are pictures:

---

From newhdtv

Interestingly, the SDTV was 27", and it was damn heavy. It prevented the doors on the stand from closing properly. After we switched out the TVs, the doors could close fully. Whodathunk?

From newhdtv

From newhdtv

From newhdtv

From newhdtv

From newhdtv

From newhdtv

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More man

I'm glad Kevin has a short day of work today. Perhaps we can do something together. Holding hands and such.

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Toys 2

I've been dwelling on the toys I donated yesterday. I'm not worried that the kids won't like them. I'm sure they will, considering they probably have an inkling of their financial situation. Kids are very perceptive -- even though they may not know how to verbalize their situation. I just hope that the toys are allocated for the appropriate ages and sexes. There was this one charity I gave to a long time ago, and I could dictate the gender and age of the recipient. I guess with Toys for Tots, this doesn't happen.

I am also a bit worried that my art packs won't stay together during transit, sorting, and dispersal. Last night I realized I could have wrapped the art packs in plastic wrap. That would have helped to keep the individual elements together. I can only cross my fingers.

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Toys for poor kids.

I've had the same set of running shoes for the past few years. Professional runners say that running shoes should be replaced every three months, or 500 miles, whichever is shorter. Now, I have a "no China" clause. The only place shoes are made in this world are...China! So, how do I go about clearing my conscious about the fact I help support child slavery and sweat shops? How does one counter-act the reality of my purchase? Is it nigh impossible to come clean? I guess I could try.

I bought some toys for needy children to "offset" the bad karma for buying Nike running shoes that are made in China with sweatshop labor. I hopes this helps. I hope I make some poor kid feel like he is worth something to receive these meager gifts. Are my gifts enough? I always thought that creativity trumped every toy imaginable, so I wanted to find toys that would foster creativity and freedom.

One of the most memorable gifts I ever received were a few packs of markers. I drew with those things until they went dry. I hope the markers I give make a memory like that.

One of the most awesome toys I ever owned was a Tonka truck. It was a huge, heavy, blue beast that I would abuse and slam into the ground. That toy kept coming back for more. I played with that truck until I lost it, in the years.

One of the most creative gifts I ever had were water color paints. I could create completely new colors just from mixing of the eight. It seemed to me there were infinite colors to be explored and discovered. I used those paints until they all got used up.

One of the most precious gifts I ever received was from my aunt who gave me a stuffed animal. It was wrapped in aluminum foil and a red ribbon, and my sister helped me unwrap it. It was a stuffed animal dog with big eyes and a little tongue and four stout legs. One of the eyes fell off and tried to glue it back on, but it didn't stay. The knit-on tongue fell off long, long ago. I wondered how he panted when he got hot? I never gave him away. I never threw him away. I never got tired of him. I never lost him into the ether of the past and past memories. He is right here still in my life. He still protects me when I am scared. He soothes me when I am sad. He cuddles me when I need a friend. He doesn't judge. I hope my gift of the stuffed animals makes memories like that.



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I spent my Thanks Giving break.....

...Doing house chores and writing an economics essay. Much to my surprise, I was perfectly content executing both of those tasks during the mini-vacation.

Kevin went to his mother's house by himself. Before he left, he and I decided that it would be best if he went by himself since most of his immediate family will be traveling to the southern United States, instead of staying close to Chicagoland. He knew that he would be helping his mother around the house regarding small projects, such as cleaning and some general fixing-up of things. I also do not travel well at all. I can't sleep, and I "become irregular." Urgh, traveling sucks so much for me.

While Kevin was away I cleaned the house. He left for the north on Wednesday, and on that day I just putzed around the house and surfed the internet. On Thursday, the actual holiday, I intended to start the essay that is due this Friday. However, I was feeling lethargic and did not get out of bed until 11:30am. When I finally did get my ass in gear, it was in the early afternoon, and I started cleaning the whole downstairs of the house. I vacuumed and dusted.

Feeling a sense of accomplishment, I thought I would surprise Kevin when he arrived back home with a batch of cookies. So...I baked a batch of cookies for him. The cookies were traditional chocolate-chip with nuts, but what have you. Thinking back, I realized the house chores and baking were just procrastination measures since it takes me forever to get motivated to start a major (or semi-major) school project.

On Friday I actually started my essay. I wrote the introduction, and started collecting peer-reviewed articles for my economics class.

So now I have my sources, and I am really close to actually starting to write the body of the essay. I know it will end up a solidly-written piece of work, but my biggest concern is actually writing an economic essay. I know I run the risk of the essay turning into an environmentalist manifesto on the destructive nature of classical economics. I know I can't do that; I just have to write the pros and cons of green thinking and implementation of green technologies and how they will affect our economy.

*sigh*

Anyway...enough procrastination. Time to type.

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Amazon problems

Last week, I sold a Super Nintendo through my Amazon store. The customer who bought the system contacted me today to tell me he has yet to receive it! I sent him two emails telling him to be more patient, and contact me if he receives it in the meantime.

Between those two emails, I went to my Amazon store seller account and checked out the delivery confirmation code. Lo-and-behold, the shipment made it to Michigan on October 28^th, only two days after I sent it. I then sent him the second email that told him to check his local USPS to see if they had it in some undeliverable state.

So: there are two options. The first option is that the buyer is a shyster who is looking to shake me down for a primo retro video game system. The other option is that the system was delivered, but it was stolen between delivery time and when the buyer got home. Hell, I don't know.

Either way, this could be bad news for me if he doesn't receive his system. I rarely sell things through my Amazon store, so therefore my overall store rating would be severely affected by a negative rating from this buyer. I wonder what could have prevented this guy from receiving the system from me?

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Jack-O-Lanterns 2010

Not too long ago, Kevin, Steve, Bob, and I went to Curtis Orchard to go pick our pumpkins for Halloween. Much to my surprise, the patch wasn't as picked-over as it has been in previous years. I think it was last year I had to go deep into the patch to find the potentials for last Halloween. From what I remember, last year, when I went searching for pumpkins, the weather was dark and dreary and cold. During the day! This year was warm and sunny, so it wasn't too treacherous going in the middle of the field.

Anyway, I found two pumpkins for carving, but Kevin only wanted one. I think he just wanted them for festive decoration, but I wanted to carve them into jack-o-lanterns. I begged Kevin to buy the two I picked, and he did. Cut to today I carved them into delightful jack-o-lanterns. I got home from college just before 4pm, and I set to work immediately. One hour later I was done. Since I actually didn't carve any pumpkins last year, one of my goals was to recreate "Frankenstein" from 2008. This year's variation is different, but I think he has character. I like both of my creations.

From jackolantern

Traditional


Frankenstein


Friends forever.....until they get composted.


Pumpkin guts.


Front-step campers.




I hope they have a happy Halloween this year. I had fun carving them.

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