I was #4.

I am so weird sometimes.

Back in my youth I used to be one of those nauseating kids who loved to learn. If ever there was a teacher who wanted a student to pass out papers, or read something in front of the class, I was the obsessive one who shot his hand up in the air before most of the other students in class. For that, I was made fun of, but I didn't care. I like helping out and I liked learning. (I wonder what happened to that fire between then and now?)

Cut to this passing weekend and I am compiling my notes for my first oral presentation for my speech 101 class. It was Saturday and most of my speech was done. I had the full-word outline done, and I was reciting my speech in my head. Amazingly, I felt nervousness. What?

Now it is Sunday, and I finish typing my key-word outline and my sources page. I staple everything together and I begin to actually perform my speech from the key-word outline, instead of reciting the damn thing. I begin to feel a palpable sense of dread of Monday. I couldn't believe I was feeling this way! I only had to present some speech in front of a small class of twenty people.

This morning my nervousness was still present. I don't know...I just felt shameful for feeling so weak. Last Friday was the first day of the presentations, and almost every speaker on that day barely performed adequately, I thought. They stuttered, said "Umm" and "Uhh" throughout their speeches, some of the speeches had no introductions or transitions, and a few of them fidgeted excessively. I knew I could do better than them. I am fairly certain I did, but my nervousness clouded my memory of today because I was just concentrating on not making the same mistakes the previous speakers made.

I must have done fine because of my classmates stopped me in the hall and congratulated me. Anyway, I guess I'll find out how I did later this week, since there is still one day of speeches for my class. Hopefully my subsequent speeches are less nerve-racking than today.

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