Problems with problems.

I've been incredibly pensive and worried about my summer math course I am taking at Parkland College. Since the beginning of this class (a week ago), I've been assigned about two chapters of math homework every day. The first quarter of this class is "review," and then new mathematical concepts are presented the last six weeks. Well, last week was one of the review weeks, so I get a metric tonne of problems I'm supposed to be able to do. Barring the really easy problems, I was getting log-jammed on the math problems that were only moderately challenging! On Monday, Wednesday, Thursday, and last weekend, I was literally fighting with these problems trying to figure them out. During the weekend I had to take a brake from the homework and go upstairs to shed a single salty tear. I was heart-broken. After that subdued emotional outburst, I went back to continue to attempt to solve those problems. I did my best. I tried my best, but I did not want to give up.

Monday rolls around and my math instructor hands out the practice test. Much to my surprise, and relief, those problems weren't too difficult. I took the test on Tuesday, and I was hoping for an 80. I tend to nickel-and-dime myself due to small mistakes, but for the most part I knew what I had to do if, and when, I looked at a problem. I got back the test today and I got a 72. *groan* Just as I predicted, I nickel-and-dimed myself to that score. Basically, I was close to getting the correct answers for the test questions, but I was still partially wrong. So while my grade wasn't spectacular, I at least know what I have to do to get a correct answer. There is some good news with that score: I have an opportunity to improve it by Monday by re-doing the problems I got wrong.

Compared to how I was last week, I am at least hopeful this week. Compared to how I was last week, I am at least not completely shitting my pants in fear I might fail this class. I don't want to fail this class, but yet there are so many variables that can derail me. I don't like hoping for something only to have it not come to fruition. I hope I pass this class but flipping through the chapters there are concepts that are incomprehensible.

On a side-note: I still may have received a 72 on that test, but I still got the third highest score in the class. I guess I'm not the only one in my boat regarding my doubts about my abilities. I just need to grind away at the math and hope it comes to me.

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