Many Fears

Today was the first day of my summer math course -- College Algebra -- and I feel cautiously optimistic about it. For the past few months, my academic adviser kept telling me that even though this math course is required for my (new) major, it still has a rather large drop-out rate. Even during a regular semester, the course moves at a brisk pace, but since this summer course is condensed into eight weeks, I'm freaking out. I'm freaking out about the content, and the pace, of the course. That is just the tip of the iceberg of my worry: If I pass this course I still have two more after this!

I am fearing many things right now. I am fearing that I'll have to drop out of this math course after the add-drop date, which would mean I would get a "W" for a grade. I'm fearing that I'll do sufficiently well in this class, but I'll bomb the final. I'm fearing the subsequent math courses I'll have to take (assuming I pass this math course) are even more meticulous and challenging than the last courses.

Everyone keeps telling me, "Don't worry, you'll be just fine," but I really don't know for sure. I have many fears of failure. I've let myself down in the past, and I really want to change that. I really want to be successful for Kevin because I know he won't tolerate any more failure from me -- or any other lackadaisical behavior. I'm just worrying that this current endeavor will end up costing me time, money, and effort, all for naught -- a "W" grade.

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