Tina Turner.

I can't stand the Rain.
Against my window.
I can't stand the Rain...

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Exercises in futility.

I wake up today because I have a big oral presentation due tomorrow, and I thought I would get a good start. I come downstairs, and I see a note written by Kevin asking me to rake the front lawn. Oh, Sweet Jesus, do I hate raking. Raking is the epitome of an exercise in futility: I could still be raking the lawn right now, and there would still be leaves present. Fantastic. So, I rake the front lawn. I fill two mulch bags full of leaves. I packed them down, and everything. I hate raking the lawn. Hate. I would rather shovel a driveway. I hate raking.

I think I am done with stupidity. I was not.

By this time, it is the late morning. I eat an early lunch because I don't want to be hungry while I assemble my oral presentation at the Urbana Free Library. I leave this house after eating, and arrive at the library before noon. I unpack my piece-of-shit laptop and turn it on. I manage to type out my introduction and conclusion to a speech I haven't even researched yet, and then I go online through the Parkland Library to try to access the academic databases for my presentation. The connection lags, only to cut to the "Cannot connect to site XYZ" warning page. OK. I tried again, and I still failed to connect to Lexis-Nexis. So, I do what any smart person does, and I op-check my internet connection. I checked my google mail, and lo-and-behold, I can connect. I then realized the reason I couldn't access the academic databases was because the Urbana Free Library is heavily, obsessively, fire-walled.

Well fuck me. Fuck me twice over, even.

So, I wasted this whole morning doing a chore that came out of nowhere, and trying to connect to an academic database through a neurotically firewalled internet connection. Naturally, I procrastinated until the very last moment to start this project. I know I'll get it done, but the overall quality will be mediocre. Now it only matters that I get it done.

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Walking through Urbana.

Since today was in the low 60s and sunny, I thought I would go walking through Urbana and take some photographs of the scenery. Due to my internet and video game addiction, I didn't do this earlier in the month when the leaves started to change color, so I passed peak color of the leaves. Fortunately, I am not too far on the descending side of that Bell curve to miss some truly beautiful sights.

I am glad I went outside.

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Things from the mail.

Back in 2006, I was really depressed, so I bought myself a Sega Saturn with a few games and a memory card. Back in 2007, I was really depressed again, so I bought myself an original Nintendo Entertainment System model 2.

I must be depressed right now again because recently, I bought myself a minty Super Nintendo off of eBay, along with a few games. I don't understand why I buy things while I feel depressed. I am actually performing well in college these days, unlike in the past. I also have a great man who loves me. Perhaps it is retail therapy. Therapy for what? Maybe I don't feel complete since I sold three of my game systems earlier in the summer. I think that would be weird, attaching my completeness to the things I own. I do believe people can be owned by things. Hell, there are whole television shows devoted to that idea: People Being Owned by Things.

Whatever. The SNES I won from eBay is in fantastic condition. There is no yellowing, which is usually present in older SNES systems. The controllers are used, but in good condition; the texturing around the direction keys of the controllers are a little worn, but the buttons are springy. The box is in fair condition, but all of the packaging and paperwork is intact. The cords are also fully intact, too. I won that auction at a sweet price; $58, which also included shipping. I scored pretty well.

Of course, no system is complete without any nice games to play. I bought from ebay, "Tetris Attack," which is a fantastic puzzle game, "Zelda: A Link to the Past," "Super Mario RPG," and "Super Metroid." After having played, and won, that game recently, I can say that game is a work of art. Literally. The music, the graphics, and the story of the game are more than the sum of its parts: It is simply a masterpiece of story-telling and mood.

While I was splurging on eBay, I also expanded my NES game collection. I bought "Contra" and "Super C," at the same time for the really sweet price of $65 together. Complete copies (box, instruction manual, dust sleeve, styrofoam insert) of those games go for $60 apiece. I scored pretty well on that sale, too.

While I was at it, I also bought the security bits that are required to open the game cartridges and systems. Game cartridges accumulate dirt and grime on the copper contacts over time, and I wanted a way to open the plastic cases to have unfettered access to the innards so I could clean my games. I don't have time to clean my entire cartridge collection, but I will in the near future. I'll probably clean my games over the Thanks Giving break. I already opened and cleaned a second SNES I won off of eBay. I'll probably sell that system since I never intended to win two SNES systems.

From miscellaneous

I feel content right now. I originally planned to buy a PlayStation 3 system at the end of this year, but I blew the bank on rebuilding my SNES collection. I guess I can get a PS3slim next year...which I probably will.

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Skip out.

It has been an interesting week for me. Unlike in previous semesters at school, I'm actually doing what I need to be doing to remain a good student, for the most part. Of course I could always study more, and waste less time in the internet. Those are too distracting; They will probably remain distracting unless I move into the center of a forest and disconnect myself from these nets. However, right now my grades are good, and I actually feel good.

Last week I delivered my first of four oral presentations in my speech-101 class. Like I said in my previous post on that subject, I think I performed better than most of the class. Yesterday I accomplished two major projects: I wrangled my group together for my liberal arts class and we delivered an impromptu presentation on a piece of art that we analyzed, then; I took my mid-term exam in my speech-101 class. My group performed sufficiently well on our piece, although we (I) did overlook one complete section of the requirements for our presentation. Oops. I also feel I did really well on my mid-term exam.

The only reason why I did so was because that class is a "basic 101" course that only tests wrote memory: Those types of tests aren't based upon comprehension; they are multiple choice exams. "Basic 101" tests aren't even fill-in-the-blank. So: I did very well on it but not because I knew most of the material, I made educated guesses on the questions I didn't know. Of course I knew most of the material; I read the book, but I didn't take notes on the required chapters. I'm lucky...so far.

Even though I am lackadaisical regarding my scholarly duties, I can say with certainty that I'm doing better than I have done in the past. In my liberal arts class, two of the four groups have members who are being aloof and aren't doing their fair share of the work. One of those two groups went from four members to two! One of those individuals simply disregarded his work and isn't communicating with the group. On Friday, my speech professor set aside that class for make-up speeches for two students. They didn't show up!

I completely understand where those individuals are coming from. Going to college, studying, and doing homework, requires discipline. Discipline requires maturity. Since I have such a hoary past with maturity, I also have a tragic past with discipline and my school responsibilities. I mean, I can't even be asked to take on a full course load per semester because I know I would shirk my responsibilities -- and my academics -- for one or all of those classes. Maybe I just need to learn how to be mature, which, in turn, would enable me to be a better student. For me to do so, I need to learn to be a good student which will enable me to be more mature. This cycle is cyclical.

I have a feeling I will perform well, academically, this semester. I just wish I discovered this "secret knowledge" a few years ago. I should have completed my studies with Parkland College and gone to the University of Illinois by now, but my attitude and discipline is lacking.

But I still feel good. I should hold onto that feeling. It will help me.

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Recent eBay haul.

Ever since I scaled down my video game collection by three consoles, I've decided to dabble in the waters of my past. I recently bought a used, but in good condition, Super Nintendo, plus four games: Super Metroid, Zelda: A Link to the Past, Tetris Attack, and Super Mario RPG: Legend of the Seven Stars.

I allotted money for my next console purchase when one of my bank CDs matured earlier this year. I intended to buy a PS3slim, but since I already blew my wad on Super Nintendo stuff, I don't think I can afford to buy a PS3slim until sometime next year. Of course...the Super Nintendo has more fun games than PS3slim, so I guess I made a good investment in my entertainment value: I would rather have a cheap system with four fun (but slightly pricey) games instead of one very pricey system with one fun, but inexpensive, game.

During my acquisitions I also expanded my NES collection by two games. I bought the two Contra games, both in very good condition for a total of $65. I've seen similar copies go for $60 each in stores and on the internet. I think that was a pretty good score.

I also started playing Super Metroid. Holy shit, that game is atmospheric. Yes, I played that game incessantly when I owned it all those years ago, but I don't think I really understood the mood of that game. The game is lonely and spooky. I mean, I can can believe how Samas Aran is really lost on Zebeth trying to destroy a galactic menace. That game is truly a spectacle of awesome game design, music, and game play. I understand why it is in the "Top Whatever" lists just about every game site and magazine.

From miscellaneous

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I was #4.

I am so weird sometimes.

Back in my youth I used to be one of those nauseating kids who loved to learn. If ever there was a teacher who wanted a student to pass out papers, or read something in front of the class, I was the obsessive one who shot his hand up in the air before most of the other students in class. For that, I was made fun of, but I didn't care. I like helping out and I liked learning. (I wonder what happened to that fire between then and now?)

Cut to this passing weekend and I am compiling my notes for my first oral presentation for my speech 101 class. It was Saturday and most of my speech was done. I had the full-word outline done, and I was reciting my speech in my head. Amazingly, I felt nervousness. What?

Now it is Sunday, and I finish typing my key-word outline and my sources page. I staple everything together and I begin to actually perform my speech from the key-word outline, instead of reciting the damn thing. I begin to feel a palpable sense of dread of Monday. I couldn't believe I was feeling this way! I only had to present some speech in front of a small class of twenty people.

This morning my nervousness was still present. I don't know...I just felt shameful for feeling so weak. Last Friday was the first day of the presentations, and almost every speaker on that day barely performed adequately, I thought. They stuttered, said "Umm" and "Uhh" throughout their speeches, some of the speeches had no introductions or transitions, and a few of them fidgeted excessively. I knew I could do better than them. I am fairly certain I did, but my nervousness clouded my memory of today because I was just concentrating on not making the same mistakes the previous speakers made.

I must have done fine because of my classmates stopped me in the hall and congratulated me. Anyway, I guess I'll find out how I did later this week, since there is still one day of speeches for my class. Hopefully my subsequent speeches are less nerve-racking than today.

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