sorrow sleep

I was experiencing insomnia, like I usually do, last night. I tried to go to sleep at 11pm, but I tossed and turned for a while. I knew that this would be a difficult night for me to attempt falling asleep, so I went downstairs. I surfed the internet for about ninety minutes, and then went back upstairs. But this time, it was close to 2am.

As I lay in bed I continue to be restless. I am now getting aggravated. Eventually, I fall asleep, but my sleep is interrupted by my need to pee. The sleep I experienced before I finally got out of bed to piss was not a nice sleep; it was rife with partial consciousness. Now, it is 7:30am and I am wide awake. I know that I won't function adequately on only four hours of sleep so I try to fall back asleep.

I finally fall into a decent sleep soon after. Tragically, this sleep was interrupted by vivid depressing dreams, even though this sleep was better quality. The last dream I remember having was me hearing that my grandmother died three years ago. The biggest difference between what really happened and my dream was that, in my dream, I actually had an appropriate emotional response to that news. I remember feeling so overwhelmed by the news of her death that I bawled my eyes out. I broke through the emotional walls, that hold me back and hold all my emotions in check, and let my true feeling flow unencumbered. In real life when I heard the news of her death, only one solitary salty tear flowed down my face. I knew something was off. I even tried a mantra to get something more appropriate than one solitary tear. It didn't work. I thought that was weird. And tragic.

It almost seems like this dream I had last night set me free. Maybe. Maybe not "set free," but unleashed, untethered something that should have been released a long time ago. I really don't know. I just remember feeling a sorrow so deep and profound I think I woke up because I almost cried in my sleep.

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Super Nintendo, 1996

OK. So I'm rebuilding my Super Nintendo collection of the past.

I did have a euphoric moment while I was bidding on eBay. I was bidding on the game Super Metroid, and I was determined to get it. I staged the digital timer to let me know when the auction would end in one minute. I enabled the one-click setting on eBay so the current bid would update in real time. I copied a bid price to the computer clip board, and I pasted the price in the bid window. I positioned my mouse pointer over the "bid now" button. I waited. The seconds counted down. My heart rate increased. My palms begin to sweat. The timer continues to count down.

10 - 9 - 8 - 7 - 6 - 5 seconds remaining in the auction. I submit my bid. SNIPED! I won the auction! Yeah. I've been sniped before. It sucked. But I still won Super Metroid so that is all that matters.

So far I already have two games I used to play, and adore. Now I just need the actual system to play them. I'm looking for a used system in very good condition. I hope I can find one.Pictures to come.

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