Chew before you swallow.

Little Chicks!

2011-07-20T19:25:00.001-05:00

The dove eggs hatched! Not only that, the dove chicks are older than what I expected them to be. They already have their pin feathers, which means that they must have been hatched for a little while. I was hoping that I would catch them fresh from the egg, so to speak, but I missed the boat.

I am still extremely satisfied that they look healthy. I really hope they fully fledge out to adult birds and fly away into the wild blue yonder. That would make me so very happy.

Time for chick pictures!

From mourningdove

The cuteness of the chicks melts my heart into a puddle of goo. Seriously.

⊗

"Do you smoke green?"

2011-07-18T21:44:00.001-05:00

Well, I used to smoke green, but I never knew I was that obvious to the world about it.

Today I had the weirdest interaction with a random stranger I still can't believe it actually happened. It started like this:

I spent some extra time at school to study for a quiz later this week, which meant that I left school one hour later than usual. I got on the bus, and, presumably, a stoner sat next to me. No big deal, I sit next to people on the bus all the time. I would also assume that a surprising portion of the people who I do sit next to are probably stoned, but I wouldn't know. It is public transportation. So a few minutes into the bus ride this guy hands me his smart phone. Displayed on the screen was some "l337 speek" along the lines of, "Hey man, Do U smoke Green?" I handed the phone back to him not really knowing what he was asking, and truthfully, not really knowing what to do. This guy was like asked me, "Well...do you?" So I told the truth and told him that I used to smoke quite a bit, but I stopped because I did it too much. He then stated that he just arrived from a far-off location and had a "big stash" he was looking to unload. Well now...That was the end of the conversation that we had on the bus.

We both disembarked the bus at the bus terminal, and curiosity got the best of me. So this stoner guy was near me and I struck up a conversation. I asked him what gave me away? I asked him what made him think that I was part of that culture. He was like, "Well, I looked at you and I could tell because of the hat, the beard, the chain, and the earrings." After that we talked a little bit more. Apparently he just arrived from Forth Worth, Texas, which means he probably had Mexican weed.

Well now, I guess I just look like a stoner. *scoff*

So I've told all of the pool people about this story, and they were asking me if I actually bought some weed. I did not, and I made sure they knew it. I'm just wondering, again, what is the chance that some random stoner guy would ask me, out of the blue, as to whether I was looking to score some weed. What are the chances? You know, if he asked me two weeks ago I would have taken him up on his offer, but alas, I am drying myself out. This is such a random occurrence that I can hardly believe it.

My life is extreme random occurrences. This one is just a bit benign. That is all.

Me "being a stoner."

⊗

Peanut Butter Bread

2011-07-10T12:19:00.001-05:00

Today is the last day that I have marijuana. I smoked my last: It is gone. I'm going to go dry for a while just to see if I can. I think I can...but the first few weeks might be "itchy."

Of course, whenever I smoke weed, I think big thoughts. This time I was thinking about my habits, and where they possibly come from. Infrequently, in my past, people would tell me that I tend to obsess about things. I think they were right. At the end of March I realized that I obsessed about things that didn't do me any good; but after I thought that I tried to identify the source of that obsession, or compulsion. Then I started thinking about my youth.

\\\In My Youth

I used to spread peanut butter on a slice of bread really, really obsessively. Meticulously. Precisely, and exactly. I was obsessed with a perfectly smooth peanut butter surface. There had to be no wrinkles, or butter-knife swipes, in the surface pattern of the peanut butter. It was as smooth as ice. I was obsessed with perfectly lined-up edges of peanut butter to the edge of the crust of the bread. There had to be no bare spots of bread exposing to the surface, or through the surface, of the peanut butter. There had to be no gooey overflow of peanut butter over the edge of the crust of the bread...at all. It was as if the slice of bread had a perfect stamp, of the silhouette of the bread, of peanut butter on its surface.

The peanut butter was literally perfectly spread in every conceivable way. And I loved it.

I remember this process taking a long time, in my mind back in my youth. I knew it took me "longer than usual" to spread peanut butter on a slice of bread. I think I was OK with that, back then -- but I didn't realize how long in duration it actually took me to simply spread peanut butter on bread.

Getting the surface of the peanut butter perfectly smooth was the ritual that took the most time. Spreading the peanut butter to the edges without overflow isn't that challenging. The real challenge was the surface. I remember it took me a long time, of many practice sessions, to execute the techniques I could use to manifest a perfectly smooth surface of peanut butter. The next most challenging thing about the perfectly smooth surface was that the perfect smoothness had to extend to the edges of the crust of bread. Remember, the edges of the peanut butter spread were as if it was stamped at the same time the bread was. So I would "pass over" the edge of the slice of bread with a knife loaded with peanut butter: I would then gently "lift higher" my hand as it approached the edge of the bread. That was how I achieved that uniform smoothness all the way to the edge. And I think I still love it.

My sisters would laugh and think how obsessive my actions were. (They are, Nick!) They would say, "Oh! Nick is spreading peanut butter again. He'll be busy for 25 minutes!" Here is the absolutely crazy thing: It really, literally took me that long to actually spread peanut butter on one slice of bread! My mom was less entertained, and slightly more concerned. I mean, the time duration, for an action that 99% of the other population would have executed in sixty seconds flat, took me nearly a half an hour!

Strangely, I never cared that much about jelly. It could by applied in any chaotic way.

Eventually, the stress of simply spreading peanut butter on a slice of bread became too much. I was so obsessed with the absolute perfection of spread peanut butter, I literally had to go dry! I literally gave up PB & J sandwiches for a little while back in my youth because I couldn't deal with the stress of spreading peanut butter. My mom, and my sisters, would sometimes offer PB & J sandwiches for lunch, and I conscientiously opted out because I knew that if I started making a sandwich...I wouldn't be able to actually stop until I was done: Until the peanut butter was spread perfectly. I used to tell my family, "I'm too mature for peanut butter and jelly sandwiches." My family would say, "We're 'mature' and we enjoy peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. You can still eat them, too." I really did enjoy eating the sandwiches, they tasted great; but taste is irrelevant when I would get trapped in the ritual of a perfectly smooth peanut butter spread on a slice of bread. When I started, I wouldn't, and couldn't stop until the spread was perfect.

This excuse went on for a while. I believe I was around 9 years old when I finally got over the obsession of perfectly smooth peanut butter spreads on slices of bread. I don't remember exactly how long my self-imposed dry spell from the ritual lasted: I have a feeling it might have lasted for a few months. I just remember knowing, in a fundamental way, that the treat, and by proxy the ritual, had to be avoided for a while because it was controlling me in some way. Curiously, whenever I spread peanut butter, to this day, I have to remind myself that it is Simply OK to have an uneven, wavy surface of peanut butter on a slice of bread, with some of the bread and crust showing through. It is OK to have peanut butter run over the edge of the bread and *gasp* touch your finger when you grab it from the sides.

I think I'm trying to go dry from the weed, too. I've been smoking heavily since the beginning of December of 2010. My stash ran out now, and that really does worry me a little bit. The weed really did enable me to identify some hidden-away aspects of my personality, and because of that, I think it made me a better person. At the same time I simply did too much of it, and it took up too much of my time. I rarely showed self-control with this habit, and it owned me. Curiously, I never went to school intoxicated, but I did everything else intoxicated. Just so you know, bicycle rides are a blast while toasty -- and that was the most positive-benign thing I did. I just need to move on. I think I've had enough fun for a while, with the weed, and now I need to learn how to identify the things inside myself that make do the things I do, without weed. I think I can do it, but it might take a while to master. I think I'll also smoke again in the future, but not now. I need to know...how to control myself and my obsessions. Adults show self-control, not little kids.

⊗

The Internet Confusion

2011-06-04T13:27:00.000-05:00

Just think: I honestly thought downloading two free games from the PlayStation Network would be an easy ordeal.

Ever since Sony got hacked by some very savvy criminals, the PSN was knocked out of commission for practically six weeks. As a special bonus, Sony is giving away two free games (of its choosing) to PSN users, and it is also giving away one free month of PSN+ to all users. I think to myself, "Great, this might be the time to download a few free titles."

Well, I started the process yesterday, and I have yet to finish it. I haven't finished the process because the PSN is still a little bit cracked and unstable by all the security patches and upgrades. I knew something was wrong with the network when, every other page, I continually kept getting "error codes" that would kick me back to the previous page. I somehow successfully downloaded my first free title without too much difficulty. The strange thing is my first free game took a long time to download. It only started coming down the pipe with any mentionable speed when I put the download in the background and exited the PSN store.

But hey, that worked. Today I picked my second game, and I got that same error code right at the moment I chose my game. Well, the PSN thinks I downloaded my second game, so now I am completely unable to download the second game that was given to me because some network can't get its act together yet. I'm a bit miffed, but at the same time, it was legitimate free media, so I really can't complain too much about it, right? I still wanted my second free game, but at the sme time I knew I was screwed if I was going through the PSN, so I thought that I would email them to try and rectify my situation. Of course the regular internet I use so much is having issues of its own.

I copy down the customer service hotlink through the PSN, and I attempt to actually email that company through their messaging system on their web site. Well...since I block so much shit using Firefox plug-ins, the secure web page had to be reloaded six times -- after each plug-in was disabled -- just so I could request an other attempt at downloading my second game! Even then, I never found that little code that was being blocked, so I had to open up my plug-in tab, disable everything, reload the browser, and submit my request. It was so bureaucratic. AND THEN, after all that unnecessary bullshit, the goddamn website still demands proof that I am an actual human by throwing forth a damn "captcha" screen.

Incredibly, half of the captcha image was in goddamn Chinese characters! So I guess I'm supposed to...I don't know...hunt-and-peg some goddamn keyboard combination to try to guess this captcha. I had to refresh the captcha three times to get to something I could actually fucking type! *URGH* I think it is...interesting...how Sony goes balls-deep to prevent scammers from barraging their services with spam, but yet actual customers have to deal with actual spam from Sony.

Then again, hopefully I do get my free second game.

⊗

My secksii new body.

2011-04-09T20:40:00.001-05:00

OK. I've been trying to be humble about the fact I look damn good. I mean, I've been going to the gym for approximately one year plus two weeks, and the hard work I've put into my body has really paid off.

Basically: After laying off the excessive snacking, eating right, eating modestly, going to the gym an average of twice a week (Until the last month, in which I've been going more often), and losing 27 pounds, I look damn good.

I like my new body.

It looks like I'm eating my camera in this pic.

I just stepped out of the shower. Since we have new plumbing; right at the moment I was taking this picture, the shower went 'gurgle, gurgle, gurgle.' It was a bit disconcerting.

Serious look is serious. Or rather; La Tigre.

Fuck yeah.

⊗

Breaking and Tresspassing.

2011-03-21T16:07:00.001-05:00

Last Friday (the 18^th) was really interesting. And frightening.

It all started on Friday morning. I woke up early with the intent of arriving at Parkland College earlier than usual so I could study lightly for two tests just to brush up on some knowledge. I realized I wasn’t going to be able to do that so I instead decided to arrive at the usual time...and allow fate to dictate my grades. Since I had approximately 25 minutes until I had to leave the house, I decided to clear my head and try to relax since I was freaking out about the two tests on the same day. So I walk around the back yard. Since the back yard is connected to Trent’s yard, I walked over on his property just to add some length to my walk. I then noticed that his pool fence was ajar. Even then, I wouldn’t have even noticed if it wasn’t for the fact that morning was breezy which knocked the fence closed, alerting me to its unsecured state. So I lock the fence and go to school. No big deal.

Friday afternoon I come back and I feel sufficiently confident that I performed satisfactorily on the two tests. However, I was still keyed up, so I go to walk around the back yards again. There I notice that part of the fence that surrounds both properties has a loose board. That was when I thought that the broken fence and the opened fence gate were probably connected somehow. I just couldn’t figure out how.

Then it dawned on me: Someone might have jumped the fence and simply exited Trent’s property through his pool gate. When I realized this I was truly freaking out. I had my digital camera with me to take pictures of the “crime scene,” all the while I was like, “Doesn’t anyone care that there is gang activity in a good neighborhood?!” I mean, I was yelling out loud in the back yard like a crazy person because I was so damn scared.

Then, I began to connect even more dots in my mind. The more dots I connected, the more I was truly having a fit outside like a typical schizophrenic. Since Saturday was a “super moon” event, the previous few nights were lit up for anyone to adequately see where he was going by the moon!

This is what I think happened: There was a confrontation nearby. We only live a few blocks from college student housing, so a serious fight could have occurred. Perhaps it really was gang activity in my neighborhood. I think some young urban kid, probably around 16, might have been running for his life from one, or a few, attackers, who I think might have been 17 or 18. I think that the kid who was running for his life diverted down the alley next to Phillip’s house and climbed his fence. That would have been easy for anyone since the cross-beams of Phillip’s face outside to the public. The running kid then launched himself from the top of Phillip’s fence over Trent’s fence. Again, that would have been easy regardless of the fact Trent’s fence is eight feet tall. The fleeing person didn’t have to scale an eight foot fence; he only had to shuffle on top of a shorter fence and jump over another fence that was only a bit taller: He only had three feet to go from the top of Phillip’s fence.

Again, I don’t know what happened at all because, frankly, anything could have happened that dislodged the plank of wood from the fence. Kevin told me that boards loosen themselves all the time, so that could have been normal wear. I would have believed him...but then again the pool gate was unsecured and I don’t think any of Trent’s friends have been on his property lately. If there was a fleeing kid, I also think he managed to escape his attackers simply be cutting through Trent’s back yard.

URGH! I’m still nervous about this situation. How did the gate get opened? Why did the plank fall off away from the fence? Did someone really tresspass on our property?

I guess I’ll have to be vigilant on the back yard for the rest of this summer to try to see if there are other discrepancies. Or maybe I should get a motion-activated camera.

The loosened (but how?) plank.

The path the fleeing person might have taken along the far side of the pool and house.

Trent's gate that was ajar Friday morning.

⊗

The Rain of Luck

2011-03-03T23:18:00.001-06:00

At the beginning of this week, I've just been hitting a really lucky break. I mean...real luck, like astounding, out-of-the-blue things that are making me think the universe is really shifting its gears and giving me a break.

First off, like I mentioned before, I managed to score an 80% on my second business calculus test. I felt pretty good at that triumph, but at the same time it almost felt like a present. Somehow. I accepted the grade with gratitude. When I realized that had a "lucky break" I didn't think anymore would occur.

And then, literally out of the blue, I read a mysterious email in my inbox. The email was from LiveJournal. That email stated that a fellow LiveJournal user actually gifted me a paid account for a year! I don't know what inspired allah_sulu to just give a random guy on a dying blogging site a $25 gift, but I thought that gift was truly an epic example of random kindness. On top of the new account level, another LJ user gifted me a random virtual gift to me, too (bad_acid). It was a wind-fall of LJ-goodness. So now I have all these features that I should really begin to utilize, but I've been busy with the monumental yard work I still have to start.

And speaking of the yard: While I was driving all over Urbana to various green-houses, I experienced more luck, too. I was at the green house on University Ave (I forgot the name) shopping for prairie grasses and flowers for the dead corner of the back yard. While I was at the check-out aisle, I looked over my shoulder and saw a really nice wind chime that was made in Texas. I looked at the price and I could see that it was $60. I was like, "What the Hell," so I bought the wind chime. The manager who was checking me out told me that since that wind chime was there for a long time she was going to give me a discount. I was pretty excited about that, but I didn't expect a 25% discount on an expensive item! The wind chime was originally $60, but the new price was $45. I saved $15...and I think that is luck, too! I mean, again, how many random -- but awesome -- events can happen back-to-back in such a short amount of time?

On Monday: A good test grade; A gifted paid account on LiveJournal.
On Tuesday: An unexpected discount at the green house; The LJ virtual gift.

So...does luck run out? I'm about to start a huge yard project that will either be great, or atrocious. I would really like the hard work I'm going to do to be actually worth it. I want, first off, the dead corner of the back yard to look nice...instead of burned by the sun. I also want to do something nice for Kevin since he has supported me, and still supports me still; I guess I'm trying to make my half of the relationship amicable. I want to say that I did "something" for him without him nagging me to start something, or finish something, or to try something new. The yard project will take several days. I know this. The yard isn't the only thing I have to do. I also told Kevin that I would surprise him with a chocolate cake. Hell, I've never made one of those before. I'm worried that I'll ruin the cake and I would have wasted the time and energy into a botched recipe.

Anyway...that is the future, and the future is unknowable until I observe it. The yard...I'm hoping...will be OK. The cake -- which I promised Kevin, which means I have to bake it -- should be OK. The house will be OK when I clean it, too. The house chores are the least of my problems.

I have quite a bit on my plate for the foreseeable future.

⊗

The Black Hole Wall Dream

2011-03-01T22:47:00.001-06:00

For the past week I've been thinking about a recurring nightmare I used to have very, very early in my life. I find it strange it is the very first dream I remember having.

The dream starts with me, at my current age of 4. That was when I dreamt this dream. There are other people in the kitchen where I am at. They are across the room looking out into the living room...they are all gathered around the doorway to the other room entranced and scared. In the living room, there was an anomaly.

Somehow, a perfectly black wall appeared when no one was looking in the upper corner of the ceiling looking down toward the floor at a shallow angle. The black hole wall displaced the matter it appeared into. It was just there as if it had always been there...except at the weird angle it was canted toward the floor.

Very, Very cautiously, we all approach the black hole wall. The older boys are closer to the black hole wall than I am. I am too afraid to go near it. Such fear I've felt.

The older boys are chatting secretly with each other. They are excited but trying to muffle their voices low. Away from the gathering, there is one lone older boy who is not in the conversation. The gathered boys are talking about him...incredulously. The gathered boys talk to the lone boy and the lone boy looks sad and scared. The other boys point not at him, but past him toward the black hole wall.

He approaches the black hole wall...it is inches from his face. The other boys are chanting, "Touch it...touch it...touch it...touch it now." The loner boy does not want to touch the black hole wall. He does not know what will happen. The other boys don't know what will happen. I don't know what will happen. We all know that we don't know what will happen when Loner Boy touches the black hole wall.

He touched the black hole wall. And something so curious, and so quick, and so weird, words can barely, adequately explain the event that happened after.

The very instant Loner Boy touched the black hole wall...he instantly disappeared. A weird auditory "sonic clap" would happen during the instantaneous vanishing. This sonic pop was so short in duration and so opposite of what an "explosion" should sound like, the only thing I can say about that sound is that it sounded like it exploded backwards.

Where did the boy go? No one knew. But now we knew. We now know there is a sudden, and quick event that it can barely be perceived and understood by normal human senses.

The boy was completely gone. Although...the transference wasn't perfect. There were signs that Loner Boy was once in existence. On the wall where he placed his fingers there were some locks of hair from the back of his head. Apparently, the only thing we could guess at was that Loner Boy was somehow pulled very VERY VERY quickly through the black hole wall, and his hair got stuck in the surface. We don't know why his hair got stuck there.

The boys wanted to know more, but how could they? It was my turn to touch the black hole wall. It was my turn and I knew, down the very bottom of my stomach that I should not touch the black hole wall. There was something on the other side I did not want to know.

The other older boys are chanting me one: "Touch it. Touch it. Touch it." I couldn't stop myself. I held my index finger on my right hand in front of my face. I look at my hand as I extend it to touch the wall. And then suddenly that weird inwards explosion vacuum-y noise is all around me. I am in the sound. It is suddenly gone and I am nowhere. I am in the most perfect black void that could ever be imagined. There is no matter. No light. There is no space. There is absolutely nothing that it could touch your face. I was looking out into infinity for a brief moment, and infinity is empty. It is devoid of dimension. Nothing is everywhere and you are so utterly alone in this void. The loneliness is so paralyzing. There is nothing to tie my consciousness to; there is no time. I now know nothingness. I am now part of it. Devoid of any sensory input because there is nothing. Such utter blackness.

And then...suddenly...I'm outside on a city street in a middle-class neighborhood. The other boys who touched the wall were alive, and with the remaining group. I join them. They are all laughing. They were like, "What was it like inside? Did it hurt? Do you think you're OK?" We felt OK. We tried to convey to them the emptiness that was everywhere and everything and inside. They didn't get it.

I find this dream weird because, for a nightmare, it has an ending. Traditional nightmares don't end. They just suddenly stop at the zenith of utter fear. They don't continue beyond that point. This nightmare I had had an ending. Not only that...the ending to this nightmare was...happy; celebratory. They survived something they couldn't understand, but they survived it. At the very end of the dream: They were hugging each other and patting each other on the back, and I think I might have been standing in the middle since I was the littlest. I think they were surrounding me, and we were all celebrating [something] somehow for our survival.

I really don't understand this dream. Is the black hole wall suicide? I've had a sneaky suspicion that the black hole wall dream is basically about suicide. But how, or why, would I subconsciously articulate suicide at such a young age. It baffles me and worries me. How does a 4-year-old know about suicide?

⊗

The Sea of Red

2011-02-28T16:11:00.001-06:00

Since the middle of last week, to the end of last week, I studied hard for two tests that were had on this passing Friday; One test was in Business Calculus, and the other was in Business Accounting.

Friday rolls around, and I'm feeling cautiously optimistic. I really did study, and I felt I had a sufficiently good grasp of the concepts at hand. Calculus started, and I started with the test right away. Somewhere after I started, I began to doubt myself. That was when I suffered from severe test anxiety. So I panicked. Really. I answered the questions completely when I thought I had time, but since I was panicking, I basically flew through the rest of the test to try to answer the test questions as quickly as I could. After that class ended, I was feeling so low. I scored myself a 62, which is a "D" on my first test, and I was really hoping I would "make my money back" on the second test. Since I felt that I bombed the second test...I began to think of the future and how much it would have to change if I had to withdraw from this class again because of bad grades.

After the calculus test, I ran up to B-wing to take my Business Accounting test. That test was remarkably easier since it deals with easy algebra, and some memorization of equations. I didn't finish my accounting test until near the end of class, so I just thought I would wait until after class to wait to see what I got after my instructor graded the tests. Since a large portion of the other students in my class turned in their tests before I did, I could see my accounting instructor correcting those tests. Since Business Accounting is basically just an introductory course, what we actually had to know for this test wasn't terribly complicated...at all. However, I'm watching my accounting instructor correct those tests, and I could see her hand flying all over the tests with a red pen. I could also see her becoming visibly frustrated. After I turned in my test to her, I asked her if she could correct it before I left school on Friday. Frustrated, she told me that she corrects the tests in the order she receives them. I didn't fully expect her to correct my test before I left school, but she did. I got a 102 on it.

I was very happy I got that grade on my second accounting test because my first test score was so mediocre. Since this is just an introductory class for accounting the first test was a cake-walk. I only scored a high "C" on it. So I was happy with my test score for the second accounting test. Although...the grade I thought I was going to receive kept my joy bitter-sweet. Yes: I had one success, but I also had one monumental failure.

Or so I thought.

After my accounting test I ran over to my academic adviser and basically freaked the fuck out in front of her because I thought I bombed my second calculus test, and therefore thought that I would have to change my entire academic trajectory again. I asked her to ask my calculus instructor to see if I could re-take the second calculus test, and much to my surprise my academic adviser said that she doesn't have that much sway when asking instructors for certain breaks. She told me that I should instead contact her regarding my situation and see if there was some sort of remedy to my situation, like a possible re-take of that test. So I emailed my Business Calculus instructor yesterday (Sunday) and asked her if that was so.

Cut to today I happened upon my calculus instructor as she was walking into my class, and I asked her if she received my email. She said yes, but she also said that a re-take was not necessary because I scored an 80% on my second test.

Well now. Saddle my ass and ride me to Texas. Apparently I didn't bomb anything. Apparently I actually accomplished my goal of "any score above a 75 at the minimum." My original goal was something above an 85% but I also knew not to press my luck.

Yes. I freaked out on Friday. By proxy I also ruined my weekend a little bit. I simply couldn't relax and feel like I accomplished something good, like I did with my accounting test. The score I thought I received dictated my happiness level. But I did OK...so therefore I should feel happy now. And I do. I also feel...content (?).

I'm guessing this is one of these situations in which I will have to continue what I've been doing -- studying and doing homework often -- but also relaxing and giving myself a chance to have a success. I also need to stop panicking. If I didn't panic I would have scored a higher grade on my second calculus test. However, since calculus really is challenging, I do accept my 80 in good faith and gratitude.

⊗

Fly Away.

2011-02-28T16:10:00.000-06:00

Last year Kevin spontaneously planned to go to New Zealand this winter, instead of flying to a Mountain state for skiing. This means that I am completely alone for the next two weeks.

Yay!

When Kevin told me that he was flying to the southern hemisphere last year, I thought he would be going during Spring Break. That would have been pretty damn good because I was also planning on surprising him with various tasks that needed to be done in the back yard. Specifically, I was planning on re-seeding the yard because of the invasive nimble weed that has displaced the regular grass. However, the nimble weed has covered approximately 80% of the back yard. My original plan was to completely rototill the soil, and then re-seed everything everywhere. Of course, that project would have been huge and expensive. It is a good thing that one of Kevin's neighbors happened to come by during the winter and tell me that would have been a monumental waste of time. Grass, if left to its own devices, will repopulate bare areas. Help doesn't hurt the grass; that was why he also suggested that I aerate the entire back lawn, throw down some fertilizer in the really bad spots, and then throw down some good grass seed. That way, I wouldn't have to break my back, and my budget, completely reworking the back yard.

When I showed him the back yard, in the middle of the winter, he showed me how the grass was infiltrating the bald spots where the nimble weed was eradicated. That made me happy.

However, I didn't stop there. Since Kevin has such a green thumb, I've been catching it through the years. During his trip to the mountains, I was also thinking of caring for the gardens in the back yard, too. I was thinking of completely roto-tilling the soil, fertilizing the gardens, and then throwing down a very mild, broad-spectrum fungicide-herbicide mix. For the past three years, we've been having trouble with mold spores on our tomato plants, and other pests, and I have been getting so sick and tired of constantly removing invasive bugs and plants. I am really hoping that the one-two punch of roto-tilling, fertilizer, and herbicide will significantly reduce the amount of bullshit we have to deal with this year.

But alas...Kevin's plans were not what I was expecting. Instead of him leaving for two weeks starting at the end of March, he instead is leaving for two weeks starting today. I'm still planning on executing my "Big Back-yard Plans," but I'll have to do them on my days off from school. I'm pretty sure I can execute 100% of everything I'm planning.

Since this is a big project, I also couldn't "surprise" him with a completely new back yard. So I told him what I was planning, and he is totally OK with it...for the most part. I know he gets paranoid whenever he repeatedly tells me things he does and does not want done in the name of lawn maintenance. I told him to relax because I'm not planning on...I don't know...renting a back-hoe and uprooting everything in the back yard. I'm just doing the same amount of maintenance he would do if he was here. Besides, when he has done his regular yard work in the past, he has usually done most of it. I wanted to surprise him with a yard he could actually enjoy...without the back-breaking labor. Besides, since the back-yard is totally "his," I wanted to make part of it "mine" by doing my own things and experimenting with regional plants.

Since yesterday I've already started a list of tasks that need to be done during the next two weeks. Perhaps I should also make a short shopping list of gardening things I need, too.

I think I'll have fun.

⊗

Fly away.

2011-02-26T15:01:00.001-06:00

Fuck Football.

2011-02-06T15:28:00.001-06:00

I hate how fucking football has become a fucking religion in this country. I hate how fucking obsessive the football commentators are. I fucking hate how crazy the fans are. I hate how fucking spoiled the football players are. I fucking hate everything attached to football. It is a stupid fucking "sport" that no one else in the world plays that is overflowing with fat, stupid, ignorant people who have no real athletic ability.

You know...if America put as much energy into education as they did into football, we would really be living in a sci-fi Utopian future. There would hardly be any poverty or disease. There would be 99.999% clean energy and no pollution. There would be no overpopulation and everyone would live a middle-class lifestyle. There would also be plenty of left-over natural places for relaxation. We would have vacuum-tube, world-wide, cheap transportation just like on Futurama. Hell, we would probably be on our way to colonizing near-by Earth-like planets in massive colony ships. But no....we have to break for football...and that other stupid, homophobic, violent, ignorant religion called Christianity.

Fuck football.

⊗

Eggplant Parmesan

2011-01-22T13:21:00.002-06:00

Pan size →	9 x 9	9 x 13	10 x 14
Ingredients ↓	9 x 9	9 x 13	10 x 14
Eggs	3 or 4 eggs scrambled	4 or 5 eggs scrambled	5 or 6 eggs scrambled
Sauce	1 Jar of sauce of your choice. (Approximately 2 cups.)	1 or 2 jars of sauce of your sauce.(Between 2 to 4 cups of sauce.)	2 Jars of sauce of your choice plus maybe one 4-oz can of tomato sauce.(4+ cups of sauce.)
Cheese	1 package of shredded cheese of your choice.(2 cups.)	1 or 2 packages of shredded cheese of your choice. (Between 2 and 3 cups.)	2 packages of cheese of your choice.(4 cups.)
Eggplants	1 Medium and 1 small;or maybe 2 medium.	2 Medium	3 medium; or 2 medium and 1 large.

Other Ingredients you will need:

Parmesan cheese (The stuff from the can is fine.)
Seasoned breadcrumbs (of any variety [unseasoned, Italian, etc]).
Olive oil (of any variety).

The necessary cooking hardware:

Large Cast-iron pan
2 bowls (Of a sufficient size to hold staged eggplant slices.)
Your lasagna pan (obviously)
Plates lined with paper-towels
Kitchen tongs.

The first step in anything you will ever do in your life is to stage your gear! I learned that in the Marine Corps. So far, that way of thinking has served me well. For this recipe, you will need to:

Gear Stage:
1. Stage at least one plate with a paper-towel on top of that plate. You will need to do that to absorb excess olive oil.
2. Stage your scrambled eggs in one bowl next to your breadcrumb bowl. Throw in a few spoonfuls of Parmesan cheese into the scrambled eggs. Use as much or as little as you want.
3. Stage your breadcrumbs in another bowl next to your egg wash bowl.
4. Wash your eggplants with clean water. After washing, slice your eggplants into approximate 1cm slices.
5. Cover the bottom of your lasagna pan with a moderate layer of sauce.
6. While slicing your eggplant you may want to pre-heat your cast-iron pan with 1cm of olive oil in the bottom on high. This step can be done after all the eggplant slices are ready for cooking.

Recipe Stage:
To start making this recipe you will need to:
1: Cover your eggplant slices with the egg wash.
2: Cover each washed eggplant slice with breadcrumbs. (You can stage multiple eggplant slices in the egg wash and the breadcrumb bowl.)
3: Gently place into the cast-iron pan using Kitchen tongs. Hot olive oil sometimes splatters, so you might also want to have a splash guard handy, although it probably won't be necessary.
4: Cook the eggplant slices 2 to 3 minutes per side. Each slice should be golden brown on each side when done.
5: Place one layer of cooked eggplant slices on paper towel. You can have multiple layers of paper towels per plate.
6: When all of your eggplant slices are cooked you will need to lay down one layer of eggplant into the lasagna pan.
7: Cover your first eggplant slice layer with a moderate amount of sauce first, followed by....
8: ....a moderate covering of shredded cheese.<
REMEMBER!: You will need to spread out the amount of egg wash, breadcrumbs, sauce, and cheese for the size of the pan you are using. While covering your eggplant slice layers, use your best judgment so you don't run out of a necessary ingredients during your prep time.
9: Repeat step 6 and place your next layer on top of your previous layer.
10: Repeat steps 6, 7, and 8 until all of your eggplant slices are used. You should get three complete layers of eggplant, sauce, and cheese, per dish. If you don't, that is OK. If your top layer does not have enough slices to completely cover the lower layer, just spread it out as evenly as you can.

Note A: If you have excessive spaces in between your eggplant slices, you can just dice the small eggplant slices and fill in the gaps.
Note B: If you realize you don't have enough egg wash or breadcrumbs to make it through your recipe, that is OK. Just scramble one more egg to give yourself enough wash, and just pour in some more breadcrumbs, into each respective bowl. Finding extra sauce or cheese might be more difficult, that is why I also suggest one extra 4-oz can of sauce. They can bump you up to where you need to be. If you are making a large recipe I suggest you have at least one near by.

Cooking Directions:
When your eggplant Parmesan is completely assembled, simply put it in a pre-heated oven until the cheese is bubbly and the top of the lasagna is lightly golden brown. The oven temp is set to 350.

Remember!: All cooking times, temperatures, and measurements are approximate. Practice, and have fun.

Gear Stage:
1. Stage at least one plate with a paper-towel on top of that plate. You will need to do that to absorb excess olive oil.

From eggplantparmesan

2. Stage your scrambled eggs in one bowl next to your breadcrumb bowl. Throw in a few spoonfuls of Parmesan cheese into the scrambled eggs. Use as much or as little as you want.
3. Stage your breadcrumbs in another bowl next to your egg wash bowl.

From eggplantparmesan

4. Wash your eggplants with clean water. After washing, slice your eggplants into approximate 1cm slices. Note: Ignore the partial capture of the sink with soapy water! I just used that sink to wash dirty dishes, not to wash the eggplants!]

From eggplantparmesan

5. Cover the bottom of your lasagna pan with a moderate layer of sauce.

From eggplantparmesan

6. While slicing your eggplant you may want to pre-heat your cast-iron pan with 1cm of olive oil in the bottom on high. This step can be done after all the eggplant slices are ready for cooking.

From eggplantparmesan

Recipe Stage:
1: Cover your eggplant slices with the egg wash.
2: Cover each washed eggplant slice with breadcrumbs. (You can stage multiple eggplant slices in the egg wash and the breadcrumb bowl.)
3: Gently place into the cast-iron pan using Kitchen tongs. Hot olive oil sometimes splatters, so you might also want to have a splash guard handy, although it probably won’t be necessary.

From eggplantparmesan

4: Cook the eggplant slices 2 to 3 minutes per side. Each slice should be golden brown on each side when done.
5: Place one layer of cooked eggplant slices on paper towel. You can have multiple layers of paper towels per plate.

From eggplantparmesan

6: When all of your eggplant slices are cooked you will need to lay down one layer of eggplant into the lasagna pan. Remember, you previously slathered the bottom of your lasagna pan with a moderate layer of sauce!

From eggplantparmesan

7: Cover your first eggplant slice layer with a moderate amount of sauce first, followed by....
8: ....a moderate covering of shredded cheese.

From eggplantparmesan

REMEMBER!: You will need to spread out the amount of egg wash, breadcrumbs, sauce, and cheese for the size of the pan you are using. While covering your eggplant slice layers, use your best judgment so you don't run out of a necessary ingredients during your prep time.
9: Repeat step 6 and place your next layer on top of your previous layer.
10: Repeat steps 6, 7, and 8 until all of your eggplant slices are used. You should get three complete layers of eggplant, sauce, and cheese, per dish. If you don't, that is OK. If your top layer does not have enough slices to completely cover the lower layer, just spread it out as evenly as you can.

The New HDTV

2011-01-15T09:54:00.000-06:00

Finally, Kevin and I decided to upgrade our standard definition to a shiny, new HDTV. It was all pretty sweet actually.

Near the very end of last year (2010), Kevin was looking at HDTVs trying to figure out which brand and model would best serve us in his house. So we bounced back and forth between Sears and Best Buy, while I also perused Amazon.com for reader reviews. Since Kevin's house isn't huge, we decided that a 40" HDTV would be the best for the living room. As we researched the televisions, I came to the conclusion that a plasma TV would be the absolute best value for what we were willing to spend. Kevin was worried about energy consumption, so he was leaning heavily in favor of LED TVs. We were butting heads a little bit as to which type of HDTV we should get. Eventually we did come an agreement.

Through out troubles we decided that buying the 46" Aquos was the best deal. There were actually two different models that we were looking at, and we decided to buy the close-out model because it did not have integrated wifi. Since I already own a PS3, buying a TV with practically the same technology would have been a waste.

So Kevin bought the TV and we picked it up this passing Thursday. We unpacked it, and damn, the thing is huge. During the planning phase of our expenditure, we realized that the absolute largest HDTV we could accommodate would be a 43" flat-screen. This TV is three inches larger. So yes, it does overpower the living room when it is turned toward the couch. Although, the HDTV is really, surprisingly light, and only a few inches thick.

My only complaint against this TV is that it still has refresh issues with regard to my PS3 video games; namely, the fast action in first-person shooters is lost whenever the player (me) turns quickly left or right. Interesting. Now, this blur isn't too bad. It is something I am nearly used to. Hell, this TV actually displays detail, which is something I couldn't see on Kevin's old SDTV, so I'm really very grateful for that. I just feel that a plasma TV would have handled the requirements of current-generation video games. I also feel that Kevin overestimated the energy inefficiency when comparing different HDTVs to each other. So; if he believed that plasma TVs weren't energy sinks, he probably would have considered some of the models I suggested. Then we both would have been extremely satisfied.

Anyway...did we make a good decision? Yes we did. I'm happy because I can actually see detail when I play my video games, and I can experience true HD whenever I watch my BD movies; and I'll bet Kevin is happy because he'll be able to enjoy his brutish football games.

Naturally, things don't happen unless there are pictures:

From newhdtv

Interestingly, the SDTV was 27", and it was damn heavy. It prevented the doors on the stand from closing properly. After we switched out the TVs, the doors could close fully. Whodathunk?

From newhdtv

⊗

More man

2010-12-23T11:44:00.002-06:00

I'm glad Kevin has a short day of work today. Perhaps we can do something together. Holding hands and such.

⊗

Toys 2

2010-12-19T17:54:00.001-06:00

I've been dwelling on the toys I donated yesterday. I'm not worried that the kids won't like them. I'm sure they will, considering they probably have an inkling of their financial situation. Kids are very perceptive -- even though they may not know how to verbalize their situation. I just hope that the toys are allocated for the appropriate ages and sexes. There was this one charity I gave to a long time ago, and I could dictate the gender and age of the recipient. I guess with Toys for Tots, this doesn't happen.

I am also a bit worried that my art packs won't stay together during transit, sorting, and dispersal. Last night I realized I could have wrapped the art packs in plastic wrap. That would have helped to keep the individual elements together. I can only cross my fingers.

⊗

Toys for poor kids.

2010-12-17T18:59:00.001-06:00

I've had the same set of running shoes for the past few years. Professional runners say that running shoes should be replaced every three months, or 500 miles, whichever is shorter. Now, I have a "no China" clause. The only place shoes are made in this world are...China! So, how do I go about clearing my conscious about the fact I help support child slavery and sweat shops? How does one counter-act the reality of my purchase? Is it nigh impossible to come clean? I guess I could try.

I bought some toys for needy children to "offset" the bad karma for buying Nike running shoes that are made in China with sweatshop labor. I hopes this helps. I hope I make some poor kid feel like he is worth something to receive these meager gifts. Are my gifts enough? I always thought that creativity trumped every toy imaginable, so I wanted to find toys that would foster creativity and freedom.

One of the most memorable gifts I ever received were a few packs of markers. I drew with those things until they went dry. I hope the markers I give make a memory like that.

One of the most awesome toys I ever owned was a Tonka truck. It was a huge, heavy, blue beast that I would abuse and slam into the ground. That toy kept coming back for more. I played with that truck until I lost it, in the years.

One of the most creative gifts I ever had were water color paints. I could create completely new colors just from mixing of the eight. It seemed to me there were infinite colors to be explored and discovered. I used those paints until they all got used up.

One of the most precious gifts I ever received was from my aunt who gave me a stuffed animal. It was wrapped in aluminum foil and a red ribbon, and my sister helped me unwrap it. It was a stuffed animal dog with big eyes and a little tongue and four stout legs. One of the eyes fell off and tried to glue it back on, but it didn't stay. The knit-on tongue fell off long, long ago. I wondered how he panted when he got hot? I never gave him away. I never threw him away. I never got tired of him. I never lost him into the ether of the past and past memories. He is right here still in my life. He still protects me when I am scared. He soothes me when I am sad. He cuddles me when I need a friend. He doesn't judge. I hope my gift of the stuffed animals makes memories like that.

⊗

I spent my Thanks Giving break.....

2010-11-29T16:10:00.001-06:00

...Doing house chores and writing an economics essay. Much to my surprise, I was perfectly content executing both of those tasks during the mini-vacation.

Kevin went to his mother's house by himself. Before he left, he and I decided that it would be best if he went by himself since most of his immediate family will be traveling to the southern United States, instead of staying close to Chicagoland. He knew that he would be helping his mother around the house regarding small projects, such as cleaning and some general fixing-up of things. I also do not travel well at all. I can't sleep, and I "become irregular." Urgh, traveling sucks so much for me.

While Kevin was away I cleaned the house. He left for the north on Wednesday, and on that day I just putzed around the house and surfed the internet. On Thursday, the actual holiday, I intended to start the essay that is due this Friday. However, I was feeling lethargic and did not get out of bed until 11:30am. When I finally did get my ass in gear, it was in the early afternoon, and I started cleaning the whole downstairs of the house. I vacuumed and dusted.

Feeling a sense of accomplishment, I thought I would surprise Kevin when he arrived back home with a batch of cookies. So...I baked a batch of cookies for him. The cookies were traditional chocolate-chip with nuts, but what have you. Thinking back, I realized the house chores and baking were just procrastination measures since it takes me forever to get motivated to start a major (or semi-major) school project.

On Friday I actually started my essay. I wrote the introduction, and started collecting peer-reviewed articles for my economics class.

So now I have my sources, and I am really close to actually starting to write the body of the essay. I know it will end up a solidly-written piece of work, but my biggest concern is actually writing an economic essay. I know I run the risk of the essay turning into an environmentalist manifesto on the destructive nature of classical economics. I know I can't do that; I just have to write the pros and cons of green thinking and implementation of green technologies and how they will affect our economy.

*sigh*

Anyway...enough procrastination. Time to type.

⊗

Amazon problems

2010-11-04T13:02:00.001-05:00

Last week, I sold a Super Nintendo through my Amazon store. The customer who bought the system contacted me today to tell me he has yet to receive it! I sent him two emails telling him to be more patient, and contact me if he receives it in the meantime.

Between those two emails, I went to my Amazon store seller account and checked out the delivery confirmation code. Lo-and-behold, the shipment made it to Michigan on October 28^th, only two days after I sent it. I then sent him the second email that told him to check his local USPS to see if they had it in some undeliverable state.

So: there are two options. The first option is that the buyer is a shyster who is looking to shake me down for a primo retro video game system. The other option is that the system was delivered, but it was stolen between delivery time and when the buyer got home. Hell, I don't know.

Either way, this could be bad news for me if he doesn't receive his system. I rarely sell things through my Amazon store, so therefore my overall store rating would be severely affected by a negative rating from this buyer. I wonder what could have prevented this guy from receiving the system from me?

⊗

Jack-O-Lanterns 2010

2010-10-29T22:08:00.001-05:00

Not too long ago, Kevin, Steve, Bob, and I went to Curtis Orchard to go pick our pumpkins for Halloween. Much to my surprise, the patch wasn't as picked-over as it has been in previous years. I think it was last year I had to go deep into the patch to find the potentials for last Halloween. From what I remember, last year, when I went searching for pumpkins, the weather was dark and dreary and cold. During the day! This year was warm and sunny, so it wasn't too treacherous going in the middle of the field.

Anyway, I found two pumpkins for carving, but Kevin only wanted one. I think he just wanted them for festive decoration, but I wanted to carve them into jack-o-lanterns. I begged Kevin to buy the two I picked, and he did. Cut to today I carved them into delightful jack-o-lanterns. I got home from college just before 4pm, and I set to work immediately. One hour later I was done. Since I actually didn't carve any pumpkins last year, one of my goals was to recreate "Frankenstein" from 2008. This year's variation is different, but I think he has character. I like both of my creations.

From jackolantern

Traditional

Frankenstein

Friends forever.....until they get composted.

Pumpkin guts.

Front-step campers.

I hope they have a happy Halloween this year. I had fun carving them.

⊗

The Test Taken

2010-10-12T14:34:00.001-05:00

So I took that Business Calculus test about two hours ago. I think I did fairly satisfactory on it. Of course, like I said yesterday, there is the chance I either did simply OK, or bombed abysmally. There was one problem I knew I got (probably) completely wrong, but I tried to answer it as completely as possible. It was a calculus problem that dealt with efficiency, which means I had to implement the double-prime rule for a function. I managed to get the f'', but I think my implementation of the primes and double-primes was wrong.

I'll find out tomorrow. I don't want to talk about it because I think I'll jinx myself. That seems way too superstitious, but I still feel that way. I hope I did well.

On a side-note: My nervousness got the best of me while I was getting ready for school. I got out of bed at 8:10, and I was on the road by 9:15am to be at school. For some reason, I misinterpreted my watch. As I arrived at school, I thought it was an hour later than it actually was. I first went to my accounting class an hour before it started. The instructor from a different accounting section was like, "What are you doing here?" I was like, "I'm waiting for my class to start." (From my misinterpretation, I thought class was going to start in ten minutes. I also thought this instructor was a substitute.) She told me it was only 10:00am instead of 11:00am. Oops.

I spent the extra hour in the library going over my calculus notes. I hope that extra studying was worth it.

⊗

Lynchpin week

2010-10-12T00:23:00.001-05:00

There is a point that falls between success and failure. There is a point that falls between exemplary and banality. There is a point that falls in between happiness and numbness. I've passed through many of those points in my past. I would imagine that I have more in the future that I will (have to?) pass through before I die. There are lynchpin points everywhere -- I don't know when they are approaching, but I certainly know when they have passed me. The trick in trying to zero-in on those metaphysical loci is attempting to figure out when they are approaching.

Naturally, this is a college update. I feel one of those lynchpin points coming. I would like to pass through it with a modicum of success, but I honestly don't know. This week I have two important tests and I am seriously freaking out about whether I will be successful or not. Tomorrow I have a major test in my Business Calculus class, and there is the possibility I could do relatively fine on it, or I could completely and utterly bomb the test and get a horrible score. If I did get a bad score, I honestly don't see the logic in staying in the class considering the class grade is determined by only four tests, plus the final. Oh yeah, I bombed the first test! Amazing! This class is so critical that if anything else goes wrong (besides the first test) I can just kiss my college schedule good-bye. Which would mean I could just forget about exiting Parkland College by 2011...which would mean I couldn't enroll into the U of I next year. So on and so forth.

Kevin let me know that he won't take care of me forever. I wouldn't allow him to do so. I'm just so sick and tired of being taken care of. I want to feel like an adult. I want to be an adult, but I've often thought that if I haven't learned how to be a grown-ass man by now, I never will.

Again, I wouldn't be worrying to the n^th degree if I actually had a sense of maturity to study more, like I should have. [Shouldacouldawoulda] I sometimes think there is an alternate universe in which I'm relatively happy and successful, instead of a 31-year-old boy who has to be taken care of just for his survival.

I wonder what it is like to be, and feel, self-sufficient.

⊗

The Praying Mantis Adventure 2010

2010-10-05T13:11:00.000-05:00

This morning I was drinking my coffee when I peered outside and saw a huge praying mantis on Trent's house. Naturally, I had to get pictures. Even from looking at the bug from across the driveway, I could see it was damn huge!

As I approached the insect, I got a bit...scared. I mean, I've seen praying mantises before, but none were as big as this one. I would estimate she was the length of my hand! Plus...she had wings. Insect wings freak me out to the n^th degree. But I persevered.

I approached the praying mantis and got a few good pictures. I then tried to coax her into my hand, but I guess I annoyed her because she flew away. She flew away over my head! That scared the shit out of me. I mean, I closed my eyes and protected my head with my hands. I'll bet I looked really silly (over)reacting like I did over a harmless, albeit huge, insect.

The few pictures I managed to take came out sufficiently well.

From prayingmantis2010

I'm still wishing I could have coaxed her into my hand because I think those pictures would have been awesome. Oh well.

⊗

My digital camera is sick.

2010-09-14T13:45:00.001-05:00

My Samgsung SL720 has not been the same since I had it sent to a repair depot. Previously, the LCD screen went on the fritz when two rows of pixels washed out and would only display white. Since I only owned the camera for seven months at that time, it was within the default limited warranty; so I called Samgsung and they told me to send it in to one of their repair locations. (I think it might have been in California.)

About a week later the camera comes back and the screen was replaced, so I thought that everything was fine. I was wrong: The camera is not fine. Ever since I received the camera after its "repair," it has had another weird problem: There is something wrong with the battery compartment. Something was amiss when, a week after I got my camera back, I went to recharge the battery and the charging indicator light does not light up. I thought I simply didn't plug the general purpose USB cable into the camera, so I double-checked. The same problem occurred again. I knew the battery still had some juice in it, so I tried to turn on the camera, and it didn't turn on.

Confused, I opened the battery compartment, removed the battery and closely inspected it. It looked fine to me. So I re-inserted the battery into the battery compartment and the camera started right up. It would also start charging. (Samsung is too cheap to include a separate charger for its proprietary battery, which means the battery has to be in the camera and the camera has to be plugged into a USB port, or into its proprietary outlet plug. I scream shenanigans on that design layout.)

The only conclusion I can glean from this weird malfunction is that there is some kind of obstruction between the battery and the copper contacts that come in contact with the battery. Or maybe the copper contacts that pull power from the battery aren't fully connected to the camera itself. Last night I took my mini-flashlight and shined it into the battery compartment, but I don't see any kind of dirt or grime that might interfere with the transfer of power from the battery, to the contacts, to the camera.

Color me confused.

I'm wondering, if Samsung, in its effort to save money on repairs, accidentally caused more damage in my camera. I'm wondering if I should call Samsung again and have them (try to) repair my camera again since there is an obvious electrical malfunction somewhere inside my camera.

Since I discovered this malfunction, I've dealt with it...until yesterday. Since I owned the camera I make it a common practice to remove the battery whenever it is done charging, and whenever I'm not going to use it for longer than a day. Yesterday I took some pictures of the wandering cat, and then I removed the battery. I realized the battery was pretty damn hot. That weird affect has never happened before. Is there an electrical problem in my camera?

Even though Samsung makes good cameras, I'm not going to deal with them if they constantly have hardware issues. I had a similar LCD problem with my Samsung Digimax A7, but I was lucky in the fact I bought an extended warranty through Sears, where I bought my camera.

I was really hoping I could get more use and life out of this camera, as I did with the Digimax A7, but if this camera cannot even handle a year of gentle use, then I'll wash my hands of it and move on. I mean, if the goddamn battery explodes because of some crossed wires, I'll just suck it up and buy myself a modest DSLR with a nice general purpose lense.

Cheap electronics are cheap, I guess.

⊗

Adventures of a Meow-meow

2010-09-13T23:45:00.000-05:00

One day last year, I was minding my own business when suddenly a cat appeared. (Now that I think about it, I might have already blogged about it.) The cat had a collar with a phone number on it, and I called that number. Come to find out, the cat lives on California Street, which is two streets parallel above Oregon Street. Considering how idiotic a huge percentage of drivers are, I'm surprised that cat hasn't turned into road pizza by now.

From time to time, the cat would traverse the dangerous path to Kevin's house. I would say that over the past year the cat has appeared four or five times to both Kevin and me. One time the cat scared the hell out of me one night. It was around 12:30am and I was playing video games, when suddenly I heard this rustling outside -- like literally outside the window of the living room. When I realized it was that cat, I shooed her away.

Cut to today that cat appeared again! Either the cat is really dumb, oblivious, or adventurous, because she just came up to me nonchalantly like an old friend visiting. Also, she is really vociferous; every pet, every action I made, every move I made, she was there right under my feet meowing incessantly. It was cute, I had to admit. I tried to give her some water, but she refused.

So anyway, a little while later, she got board with me, or maybe she got distracted by something, because she left. Before she did, I got some pictures...naturally.

⊗

this before that

2010-09-06T16:20:00.000-05:00

I honestly don't understand my brain. There are times it will be lit on fire; ideas will come to me and creativity will flow. Other times, it will be muddled with fog. It seems like I simply can't "ignite" my brain to do what I want it to do. I've talked about this before as "fog." I experienced this today, and I found it frustrating.

I tried to do my pre-calculus homework, but I just couldn't comprehend the algebra. These damn word problems aren't even that difficult, and I have a feeling I could have done more of them if I could just get my brain started. I got angry.

So I put away that math homework and took notes from my Accounting book. It is a good thing the first part of my accounting course is mostly concepts, because I am better with those. Later in the semester it changes over to mathematical concepts of accounting. I hope I can handle it because I'm worried since I can't handle the "easy" shit from pre-calc.

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Bits & Pieces XX

2010-08-28T11:25:00.002-05:00

College started August 23^rd, which means I've been going to school already for a week now. At the beginning of the semester, I was sufficiently nervous. However, after the first week, my anxiety is allayed. I'm not...expecting something easy, I'm just expecting to not be freaking out like I was at the beginning of the summer semester. And speaking of the previous summer semester...
I'm still weird-ed-out about the fact I passed a sufficiently challenging math course. I mean, even my academic adviser, Marilyn Ryan, was trying to prepare me for the possibility I might botch that attempt at passing that class. She wasn't suggesting I would fail because I'm stupid, but she was trying to warn me about the fact that class only has a pass rate (of higher than a "C") of 25%. I somehow got an 80 average, which means I got a "B." So that means I'm in that 25%. I think it is even stranger to know that I had the same instructor who also taught the Statistics class I botched. Maybe I was meant to redeem myself with that summer class, and with him. Who knows. The Universe works in mysterious ways.
But anyway, before the fall semester began I wanted to do something special for Kevin, and our friends, so I thought I would throw a cook-out. For the most part, it was relatively successful...except the fact I excessively charred the turkey burgers. Urgh. The actual turkey meat was just acting weird. I don't know if it was because the meat was excessively lean or fatty, but I couldn't form patties at all. The meat was just so sticky. I somehow managed to form them into patty shapes, but they "melted" into each other since they were stacked on top of each other before I grilled them. It was especially challenging trying to put them on the grill since they lost their shape. I had to pick up the turkey burgers and reform them on the grill. That was a tricky endeavor. Alas, they tasted OK, they just didn't look too tasty. I asked Kevin if I could throw another cook-out in September, and he said I could. I think I'll use regular 85%-lean ground beef the next time. At least beef won't give me grief like turkey meat will.
Also, after the summer college semester ended, I thought I would treat myself to a new (used) video game since I passed with a decent grade. So I trolled eBay for one of the best games in existence, Yoshi's Island for the Super Nintendo. I don't know why, but that game goes for a higher price than what I was expecting. It isn't like it is a rare game; Decent used copies were selling for over $30. I found a nice copy for $28 with free shipping, so I think I broke even with that price. Oh, wow, I forgot how difficult this game is -- for a "kids" game. The challenge level of this game seems to increase exponentially, but it does so without feeling "cheap." Plus the graphics are simply stunning. It is like playing a game in a coloring book. Just like Super Mario Bros. 3 before it for the 8-bit era, Yoshi's Island is a pinnacle (or one of them, anyway) of the 16-bit gaming era. I guess I can understand why the game goes for what it does on the internet.

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School Today

2010-08-23T01:39:00.002-05:00

My new semester at Parkland College starts ~~tomorrow~~later today. I forgot I signed up for that much math this semester. Accounting? Business Calculus? *sob*

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Illinois State Fair 2010

2010-08-18T19:32:00.001-05:00

This year, my husbear and I went to the Illinois State Fair. Due to the economic ~~depression~~recession, this year's fair was remarkably understated. Half of the midway was missing. But whatever. I knew I wouldn't be riding rides. That is coming this October. I actually went for the farm animals. :)

They were cute this year.

Li-i-i-i-i-i-sa-a-a-a-a! Don't e-e-e-e-e-e-e-eat me-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e

Better than shaved pussy?

Piglets!

Ducklets!

Chicklets!

Nice Ass. *crickets chirping* OK, I tried.

'Sup bro.

Clean Cows are Clean.

NEIGH!

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It was a good day.

2010-08-11T13:12:00.001-05:00

Last night I had a dream about an old family dog that died when I was nine years old. I had a dream about Brandy. In a nutshell, the dream was so saccharin that I still don't believe it emanated from my subconscious; I usually have really weird psychedelic dreams, or dreams in which I'm being chased.

For the most part, this dream was probably five to 10 minutes long, but I can only remember the last minute or two of it. From what I can remember, I was me at my current age, but then I remembered that Brandy was still with me. For some reason, in this dream it never occurred to me the dog had a seizure and was euthanized years ago. Anyway, the dream started early in the day, and the now-alive dog went outside to go play. I went with her because I was happy I was with her again.

We played and frolicked around Bucksport, Maine. The strange thing about the town is that it also encompassed many locations at once. As Brandy and I went out to play with each other, we were suddenly at Whalom Lake during the winter. We both found an icy hill in Bucksport, and Brandy slid down the hill first to end up on the frozen lake in Fitchburg, Massachusetts. I slid down the icy hill, too, and now that I think about it, I would have been seriously injured in real life if I slid down this hill considering it was all jagged ice and rocks. Miraculously, I was unscathed as I splayed out onto the ice. Brandy was frolicking around me, but then I realized the ice wasn't thick enough to support a human, so I began to migrate back to the edge of the shore.

Brandy was next to me, and she found a hole in the ice. She extracted a dead fish and began to eat it. Now, Whalom Lake was renown for its pollution, and it was common to find dead fish at the bottom of the lake. I made her drop the dead fish and we made it to the top of the icy hill.

At the top of the hill, I think we were both now in Urbana, Illinois. Since the sun was setting I wanted to get back inside and show my mom or Kevin that Brandy was really OK. Near the end of the dream Brandy was really rambunctious; she was running around and acting really spry, not like how she acted near the end of her life. The strangest part of this dream was when I crossed a busy street on my way home, and I turned around to see Brandy playing with a polar bear cub! (????) I called her out to her and she stopped playing with the bear cub. Even in my dream I was like, "What the hell?!?!" Whenever I have a lucid thought in my dream, I always wake up. I thought to myself, "I have to show that Brandy is really OK for her age."

And then I woke up.

As I did, I put my hand on my forehead because the dream was already slipping away. I remember the dream started out at the beginning of the day, but Brandy was an adult. As the dream progressed, the time of the year changed; the dream started out in Spring, but ended in the dead of winter. At the end of the dream I think Brandy was approaching puppy-hood; She appeared to be younger than she was at the beginning of the dream.

I really wish I could remember more of this dream. It was pretty long, in terms of dream-length, but I can only remember the last few minutes. Anyway, from what I can garner from this dream, I spent a good day with the old family dog. It is strange, I don't think I thought of her for a long time now.

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The voice from inside my head not from inside my head.

2010-08-05T16:12:00.001-05:00

A prediction that came to me a while ago just came full circle: I completed my class, successfully, with a "B" average. I'm happy and relieved. But my success in this class was never left to chance: I was somehow given fore-knowledge I would pass this class.

I'll back up a little bit. Since last Friday, I've been going over my old tests from the class. Basically, from the old tests I re-did the problems I got completely wrong, partially correct...and well...the problems I got fully right, too. I didn't want to leave anything to chance. I wanted to make sure I had a firm grasp of the concepts I knew I would be tested on this week. I would then go back to my instructor after class and pick his brain some more. Then I would do those problems once more. Yesterday evening I did more of those same problems again. Neurotic behavior aside, all of that "extra" studying I did probably enabled me to receive the grade I got on the final. For me to receive a grade of "B" for this class I needed a 72 or higher on my final. I got a 76. On top of the relatively decent grade I got on my final, I also got a 95 on the fourth test that was given on Tuesday of this week. That grade was the second-highest grade for that test. Go me. As I've said before, too, that grade of 95 gave me some breathing room on the final; I could have afforded to make some faffy mistakes but still get the overall grade I wanted.

But still before that, before the class even began I was worrying. I would tell people that I'm taking an elite math class at Parkland college, but at the same time I was still worried about passing the class. People would tell me, "Oh, you'll do fine. Just do what you have to do to pass the class." To myself I would think, "But I suck at math. I suck, suck, suck. How could I pass if I suck horribly at math?" I've basically been shitting bricks about this class. I was worrying incessantly about my own aptitude.

Then it happened in the middle of the night.

Just before the class started in the middle of June, I was lying in bed thinking (obsessing) about the class. I asked myself if I could really pass a challenging math class. And then I heard it. I heard a voice inside my head, but not coming from inside my head. The voice said, "You'll do fine." That was it. That never happened before to me and it hasn't happened since.

The weirdest, strangest, most surreal aspect about that voice is that I heard the voice inside my head, but I didn't create it, and I never heard that voice before. What was it? Who was it? Was it transmitted or did I just think differently? Whenever I think of people inside my head, I hear their words in their own voices. If I think of Kevin, I hear his words in his voice. I don't hear his words in my voice or any other voice. If I think about Kevin speaking to me, I hear Kevin in Kevin's voice. So...where did that voice come from? Did that voice have some sort of precognitive foreknowledge about my grade, or did I pass the class because I believed I would because of some weird voice that I think might be supernatural?

It is just very, very strange.

Alas, I did pass the class. I'm happy about that. I'm just wondering if that voice I heard was supernatural in nature, or if I just created it but didn't realize I did.

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Breathing Room

2010-08-03T13:20:00.000-05:00

So today I took Test 4 in my college algebra summer class. I’ve been so damn neurotic about this test and the upcoming final test. Since Saturday I’ve been studying the old tests I already took, and I think I’ve been better comprehending the problems I’ve missed. But I also feel that thinking, and hoping I’ll improve, will jinx me into under-performing for the upcoming final.

Anyway, on Sunday and Monday I’ve also been dabbling with the newer concepts in the class just to make sure I wouldn’t bomb this test like I almost did with the previous test. I went over the old homework and much to my surprise, I felt pretty confident I sufficiently understood matrices and sequences. But my brain kept nagging. Just like with test three, I thought I understood what I needed to do, only to under-perform and receive a "D." I was so miffed.

I took the test and I realized I knew almost all of the questions on the test. There were two questions that threw me off; one of them was the sum of an infinite geometric mean, and the other was converting a repeating decimal into a fraction. Other than that I answered the remaining questions to the best of my ability.

When I turned in the test to my class instructor I had to leave the room. Again I felt that being there would jinx the grade I was going to receive. Color me neurotic. I come back a minute later from the walk around m-wing, and the instructor says I got a 95% on that test.

Holy shit.

Not only did I completely come back from the mediocre grade from the previous test I took, I also earned the second highest grade on that test in the class.

I’m pretty happy about that accomplishment, but I still worry about the final. I also think the instructor made the test easier than the previous tests. Maybe because he wants his (remaining) students to pass the class? Now that I think about it on the first week of class, the whole class room was filled. Now it is half empty.

In a nut shell, I’m happy about the test I took today. Now I just need to focus on the comprehensive final.

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Shut the fuck up already.

2010-07-17T20:45:00.001-05:00

Ever since I started my summer college class, I realized just how noisy some places can be. That is; I realized how noisy some places are supposed to be that are supposed to be quiet. So I can concentrate, I would go to the Urbana Free Library. Much to my dismay, and annoyance, that library is loud.

I can concentrate with normal noises and normal noise levels; I learned to cope when I was in the Marine Corps. If I don't feel like leaving the house, I'll study while Kevin is working on a house project. It is no big deal. However, the level of distraction in a library is astounding. Hmm...there are ringing cell phones, screaming children, coffee grinders grinding, ringing cell phones, screaming children, homeless people eating loudly and having conversations with themselves, ringing cell phones, screaming children, adults with no volume control, screaming children, ringing cell phones, cell phones vibrating noisily on tables, screaming children, and ringing cell phones!

When did public libraries become the repositories of socially-inept, bored, obnoxious people? When did libraries stop being places of quiet and study, and start being places of free entertainment? This library, and I would assume others as well, have slowly become, basically, free movie rental establishments and internet cafés. With that evolution, along came with it people who normally wouldn't be seen in a library - the very people who don't know how to act in these places. Oh look, another mother allowing her little toddler to constantly scream at the top of her lungs. Oh look, another asshole having a loud conversation on his cell phone. Oh look, another teenager taking up space using a public terminal for Farmville. *groan*

If I need to study, and I need to leave the house, I won't go to a library. I'll instead go to...a coffee shop! They are quieter! Automatically, there aren't any screaming kids. That is probably because most of the parents with obnoxious children are at the library browsing the free DVDs. Automatically, most cell phones are turned to vibrate, or even off. This is probably because the people who patron these establishments know the "etiquette" of coffee shops. Automatically, the environment is quieter because most of the clientele are *gasp* college students who are studying, just like me! I never would have thought coffee shops could quieter than public libraries. I must be living in some kind of Bizarro World.

Of course it doesn't have to be this way. I remember when I was little and I was going out in public with my family, my parents and relatives used to look me square in the eye and say, "You will behave yourself - or else." And I did!

Today I was in the library, and it wasn't as bad as it could have been. But there were times I wanted to yell at the lazy parents (who were allowing their kids to yell), cell phone abusers (who forgot to disable the ring of the phone), and loud people (who have no volume control) and tell them to be quiet because they are in a fucking library.

Be quiet. I'm trying to study.

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Problems with Problems Again.

2010-07-11T23:03:00.000-05:00

July 11, 2010

Problems With Problems Again

As my college summer course has been progressing, I've been steadily increasing my confidence in my meager mathematic abilities. Yes, I was still dreading my second test almost as much as my first test, but some of the new concepts that were introduced to me began to "click," so I was pensively optimistic. During the Independence Day "extended" weekend, I studied for two of those days. I was fairly confident with almost all of the concepts, but there were two things I didn't know. One of those concepts was the equation of a parabola, which isn't terribly difficult. The other concept was functions of functions.

Much to my dismay, I completely forgot to do that chapter that dealt with the parabola functions. Much to my annoyance, I couldn't even do the chapter that dealt with functions of functions. So, I decided to study what I knew and "make my money" off of what I knew. Test day, which was July 6^th, came and went, and right away there were three problems I couldn't even do. As I planned, I went on to the problems I knew I could do. Out of the seventeen problems on the test, I answered fourteen of them fully and with minimal mistakes.

I get the test back, and lo-and-behold, I got a 72% on it! What is the chance I would get the exact score on two different tests? I was really, really sad, and disappointed in myself. I had no idea that those three blank problems would do me in that way.

After class, I went up to my instructor and asked him if I should even consider staying with the class during the summer or just wait until the new semester begins. He told me that even though I've been scoring "C's" on my tests, I'm still in the top half of the class [!] so I shouldn't worry too much. Then he showed my aggregate score compared to the rest of the students in the class, and sure enough I was ranked right up in the top half of the class.

Still, I have my worries. Right now it is a close to my bed time, but I still feel that I should be doing more studying. (Of course I could!) I do the homework problems for each respective chapter, and much to my surprise, I can (now) do a surprising amount of the easy and moderately challenging problems. Right now a new chapter is dealing a little bit with functions of functions - the very thing I abhorred not too long ago - and little by little the pieces are falling into place. I'm also worried that I'll put all this effort into this class, and I'll still perform . . . insufficiently to continue the math portion of my required education. I factored into my college schedule me completely screwing up this class, so I could take it again if I needed to. My goal is for me to get a "B".

Like I've said before, my biggest fear is that I put all this effort into this class and I totally screw the pooch at the end of the class, like I did with the previous statistics class I took a year ago. In that class I had a "B" average, but I lowered the average down to a "C" because of the final.

I would feel so burned if I did put all this effort into this class and I couldn't even go with Kevin to Ely, Minnesota.

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Word Perfect X5

2010-07-07T15:24:00.001-05:00

Not too long ago, I realized I needed (or rather, wanted) some sort of “official” word-processing application. I used to have OpenOffice, but for some reason, that program would completely crash the old Dell computer I once owned. I didn’t like Microsoft Office because that program changed the look of documents to what it thought I wanted, not what I wanted it to do. I’ll never forget the anger and frustration of trying to make a simple outline – a hierarchical list consisting of coordinating points as roman numerals, with subordinating points as capital letters. For some inexplicable reason, Office 2007 would insert a bulleted list inside the outline. I never figured out why it kept doing that.

Maybe that sale was a bit of serendipity, but WordPerfect went on sale on Amazon last week for $60, so I bought it right away.

Immediately, I was happy when the Amazon box arrived. Unlike the Microsoft Office 2007 bundle, I could actually open this box. It was regular cardboard that was sealed with a simple sticker. The MSO bundle came in some sort of anti-theft plastic box that was literally impossible to open. The only way I could extract the install DVD out of the case was by literally smashing it open! Of course I couldn’t throw away that plastic case because the security key is adhered with an anti-theft anti-removal sticker. Great.

Anyway, the great thing about this program is that it has the compatibility of MS (which I’ll need for writing documents on public computers) without the headaches of having that program constantly trying to change things I didn’t want changed. In other words: it is just significantly more user-friendly.

As a side-note, perhaps this is my chance to start that sci-fi story that has been kicking around inside my head for the past few years.

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These are the things I don't like about this gaming generation -- in order!

2010-06-26T21:16:00.000-05:00

DLC: Day-one DLC? O RLY? The last six months of a game cycle is Q&A testing, so it isn't like there is going to magically be "new" DLC on the day the game comes out! Could it be because those parts of the game were already completed, but then locked-out just so you could double-dip the paying public? Maybe? Yes...yes it is. Fuck you, DLC!!shiftkey∞
DRM: Digital Rights Management is not a way to reduce piracy -- it is a way to reduce second-hand sales of used games. DRM only punishes the legitimate buyer, not the pirate. Any developer who says DRM is used to stop piracy is outright lying, and those products they make should be boycotted.
Homogenized games / Risk-adverse game development: Oh, look! Another hard-core game that was watered down to make it as broadly appealing as possible. Oh, look! Another broadly-appealing party-based family game! Great... *breaks out the Super Nintendo to play a hard-core game* On a related note: FFS, how many first-person shooters or sand-box games can there really be? This is not a rhetorical question!
Ads in games: Oh, FFS, this is just bad news. The second ads appear in any medium, is when that medium becomes beholden to advertisers. Advertisers are just as bad as publishers when it comes to plunging an awesome game into mediocrity.
Shoe-horned motion control schemes for games that would be better with conventional controls: I'm looking at you, Super Mario Galaxy.
Cheap hardware: If a Super Nintendo can work like the day it was bought twenty years later, why can't a PlayStation 3, or XBox360? Anyone who thinks their current systems will work X years from now is sadly mistaken. System updates and cheap components virtually assure this current generation of systems won't work when the next generation hits the gaming public. There is also no guarantee "the big three" will support this generation of hardware when the next generation comes out. There is no guarantee the next generation of systems will be backwards compatible with this generation of games. Hell, there is no guarantee a current system update will allow you to play your current library. I'm looking at you, Wii and PS3.
Game budgets are too damn big: Games in the past only needed a compliment of 20 to 50 people to create them. Today a game can have hundreds of artists, programmers, and Q&A testers, and those games are still mediocre shit. Bigger doesn't mean better, assholes.
Video gamers:
1. Oh yeah, verbally abusive, homophobic, racist, sexist, little children screaming over a head-set really make this medium seem grown-up.
2. Gamers don't take any chances with the games they buy. Because of this, game developers only make the types of games gamers only buy! I'm looking at you, FPS genre!

Things I would do to fix these problems:

Completely change how DLC is implemented: OK, I believe capitalism is a good thing, but I also believe bilking people out of their money by making them constantly buy DLC is wrong. I also believe stripping a game of content before it is released just so a company can charge again for it is also very wrong. So, how do game companies ensure they will continue to reap profits on a game? Franchise it. Since a huge percentage of games are franchised anyway, why not have the first part of the franchise on a disk, but then have all sequels as exclusively DLC? Since games usually get cheaper as time goes on, late adopters of a franchised game are virtually getting the first game for free if the sequel DRM is full priced. Early adopters of a franchised game should get steep price reductions for future DRM (full sequels) of that franchise, so early adopters would almost get the same money-saving perks as late adopters. There, problem solved! Gamers get completely new DRM in the form of true sequels, while game developers get to control their content.
Get rid of DRM: PEOPLE WILL ALWAYS FIND A WAY TO CIRCUMVENT DRM Just get rid of it. Get rid of it NOW.
Make better games, and take a chance!: Please, stop watering down games to make them as broadly appealing as possible. If you, the game company, are going to update a retro title, please keep it as difficult as it was, but also please update the way the game is presented. As the medium becomes more advanced, control schemes become more efficient. It is OK to update how a game takes button commands. From what I've been reading about the Nintendo 3DS version of Zelda: Ocarina of Time, the menu system is going to given an overhaul to make that game more efficient and more user-friendly. That is OK! But while you are updating a game, please keep the same "flavor" of that game, too. Don't do a bunch of crazy -- and unwarranted -- shit to a game to make is as appealing as possible to the largest possible audience. To me there is a world of difference between Super Mario Bros. 3 and The New Super Mario Bros. I don't know, there is just something missing from the latter game. Now that is out of the way, time for part two is this rant: Please take a chance with a new I.P. If you build it, they will come. If you make a smart game with interesting and new game mechanics, gamers will buy it in droves!
No ads: Ads suck. They are detrimental to the medium, and to each respective game they appear in.
Motion-control does not mean that is the only way: Going back to the SMG example, there should have been two ways to control that game: The motion controller and a conventional controller; Gamecube perhaps? Just because a game can have motion control, does not mean it is required. When I play video games, I want to veg out, not waggle like an idiot. Since all the future systems will have some sort of alternate control scheme, implement the motion control sparingly.
Make better hardware: If the XBox360 has a defect rate of 35% after two years (!!), and if the PS3 has a defect rate of 10% after two years, there isn't good enough hardware in those systems. Stop being cheap and use high-quality hardware for your systems. I seriously doubt the defect rates of the SNES and Sega Genesis were that high after two years. This is a department in which the big three are going to have to take a chance that people will circumvent the internal hardware in favor of longer system lives. There has to be a line between wanting to control piracy, which is a legitimate concern, and having systems with sky-high defect rates.
Control game development costs: OK, gamers didn't directly ask the game developers to exponentially increase the cost of producing a game. Yes...new hardware requires more expertise, and more manpower to exploit, but if you need 200+ people to make a game that will end up in the bargain bin two months after it is released, a)you aren't good enough to produce games, and b)you need to split the costs of making games and spread risk. Instead of having 200+ people on one game, have 66+ people per team and have those teams pursue their own interest within a certain time frame (2.5 years?). Allow one team to make a J-RPG while you allow an other team to make a FPS. I don't know, but allow them to be creative! It will pay off!
Gamers, grow up!: Hey gamers, take a fucking chance and play a game you normally wouldn't play. Please, please, pretty please. You might be pleasantly surprised to like a game that a)is not a FPS, and b)does not involve shooting people. Also: do you talk to your mother that way? Yeah, you probably do. Get a life, you bunch of losers.

Will this list happen? I wish it would. It is the only way the medium will save itself from itself.

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Problems with problems.

2010-06-24T14:19:00.001-05:00

I've been incredibly pensive and worried about my summer math course I am taking at Parkland College. Since the beginning of this class (a week ago), I've been assigned about two chapters of math homework every day. The first quarter of this class is "review," and then new mathematical concepts are presented the last six weeks. Well, last week was one of the review weeks, so I get a metric tonne of problems I'm supposed to be able to do. Barring the really easy problems, I was getting log-jammed on the math problems that were only moderately challenging! On Monday, Wednesday, Thursday, and last weekend, I was literally fighting with these problems trying to figure them out. During the weekend I had to take a brake from the homework and go upstairs to shed a single salty tear. I was heart-broken. After that subdued emotional outburst, I went back to continue to attempt to solve those problems. I did my best. I tried my best, but I did not want to give up.

Monday rolls around and my math instructor hands out the practice test. Much to my surprise, and relief, those problems weren't too difficult. I took the test on Tuesday, and I was hoping for an 80. I tend to nickel-and-dime myself due to small mistakes, but for the most part I knew what I had to do if, and when, I looked at a problem. I got back the test today and I got a 72. *groan* Just as I predicted, I nickel-and-dimed myself to that score. Basically, I was close to getting the correct answers for the test questions, but I was still partially wrong. So while my grade wasn't spectacular, I at least know what I have to do to get a correct answer. There is some good news with that score: I have an opportunity to improve it by Monday by re-doing the problems I got wrong.

Compared to how I was last week, I am at least hopeful this week. Compared to how I was last week, I am at least not completely shitting my pants in fear I might fail this class. I don't want to fail this class, but yet there are so many variables that can derail me. I don't like hoping for something only to have it not come to fruition. I hope I pass this class but flipping through the chapters there are concepts that are incomprehensible.

On a side-note: I still may have received a 72 on that test, but I still got the third highest score in the class. I guess I'm not the only one in my boat regarding my doubts about my abilities. I just need to grind away at the math and hope it comes to me.

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The Bad Touch

2010-06-17T14:04:00.000-05:00

I often wonder if my touch is cursed to break anything and everything. No really. It seems to me that everything that comes into my possession is either already broken, or will break in an unreasonably short time frame. Again it seems this curse has struck again, not once in the immediate past, but twice.

The first thing that broke was my expensive graphing calculator I bought four years ago. I bought the calculator from the Parkland College bookstore, so naturally I got price-gouged -- I spent $140 for that calculator. I knew they were expensive, but I didn't think they would set me back that much. Hell, for another $200 I could have had a cheap PC built for me. Anyway, I was sufficiently miffed I spent that much on a calculator, but what really grabbed my goat was that one month later I saw the exact same model in the discount bin for $70. I got burned. During the time I owned the calculator I barely used it. I only took three math courses at the college so it isn't like there is that much mileage on the thing. I also use it to help me balance my check book. Well, somehow the goddamn thing broke. A week ago the calculator would blink on and off. So I changed out all the batteries, but that remedy didn't help the situation. To make a long story short: I brought the calculator to the math instructors at the college to have them try to trouble-shoot the problem. Today I learned by one of the instructors that the malfunction is probably a hardware issue; there is probably a loose wire or microchip somewhere inside the calculator. This vexes me because I took care of it: I didn't drop it or anything like that. What gives?

The other thing that broke was my shiny new 12.2MP digital camera that I only bought seven months ago! Yesterday I took some pictures, and then put it away. Literally one minute later I turn it back on, and there are two lines of dead pixels on the view-screen. Just like with the TI-83+ Graphing Calculator, I didn't drop or abuse the camera. What gives? My only saving grace regarding my camera is that there might be a one-year manufacturer's warranty against defects or malfunctions. I'll have to research this very soon.

My expen$ive graphing calculator, and an out-of-manufacture digital camera both shit the bed. The bad touch has struck. Twice. In the same week. URGH! You know, since I have a knack for acquiring broken things, I wonder what expensive piece of hardware will break next: my new PS3? my new Toshiba? my bicycle? Maybe all three? I'm not made of money. I cannot replace everything that breaks, or gets stolen, or gets lost.

Blah.

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Many Fears

2010-06-14T13:04:00.001-05:00

Today was the first day of my summer math course -- College Algebra -- and I feel cautiously optimistic about it. For the past few months, my academic adviser kept telling me that even though this math course is required for my (new) major, it still has a rather large drop-out rate. Even during a regular semester, the course moves at a brisk pace, but since this summer course is condensed into eight weeks, I'm freaking out. I'm freaking out about the content, and the pace, of the course. That is just the tip of the iceberg of my worry: If I pass this course I still have two more after this!

I am fearing many things right now. I am fearing that I'll have to drop out of this math course after the add-drop date, which would mean I would get a "W" for a grade. I'm fearing that I'll do sufficiently well in this class, but I'll bomb the final. I'm fearing the subsequent math courses I'll have to take (assuming I pass this math course) are even more meticulous and challenging than the last courses.

Everyone keeps telling me, "Don't worry, you'll be just fine," but I really don't know for sure. I have many fears of failure. I've let myself down in the past, and I really want to change that. I really want to be successful for Kevin because I know he won't tolerate any more failure from me -- or any other lackadaisical behavior. I'm just worrying that this current endeavor will end up costing me time, money, and effort, all for naught -- a "W" grade.

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flowers in the neighborhood

2010-05-31T11:29:00.000-05:00

My neighbor, Trent, owns property next to his house where we, he, and his pseudo-boyfriend share a plot of land for vegetables. There are also flowers that grow; I don't know if they were planned and planted, or if they migrated to that plot. I just "found them" looking spectacularly beautiful.

From omgflowers

TEST PIC

From omgflowers

I hacked about 75% of the growth from this plant last year because approximately that amount was dead or dying. Perhaps that was what this bush needed because she is looking bright and vibrant today.

From omgflowers

Oh, and I'm drunk while making this post. Yeah....

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Pictures find me.

2010-05-31T11:28:00.002-05:00

I come from the philosophy that people don't "take" pictures, but rather pictures "find" people. There have been dozens of times there was something that piqued my interest, but alas I couldn't commemorate that scene because I didn't have my digital camera. Today, however, as I was walking out the door, I second-guessed myself into taking my camera. I thought, "Well, there might be something worth commemorating."

From the insane to the mundane, some scenes just capture me. Perhaps I should never leave the house without my camera.

E-85 gas prices from the future!

Pointing up.

Art-y art

New AND improved!

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The Bubble

2010-05-31T11:28:00.001-05:00

OMG! The Bubble is a better movie than Brokeback Mountain.

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My new Nintendo DSi XL

2010-05-17T13:13:00.001-05:00

As a present to myself -- along with all the other presents I buy myself throughout the year -- I bought myself a shiny, new Nintendo DSi XL. I had two color choices, one burgundy, and one brass. I chose the brass color. Even though Nintendo actually does offer the buyer a choice in which way he can honor his personality, my personality goes beyond chocolate brown and red. Actually, the brass-as-chocolate brown is quite tasteful, with a matte bottom and glossy top, so I still like the aesthetics, even though I may not be too keen on its color.

I actually got the system on the 14^th of May, but I didn't open it up until late last night. Originally, I wanted to make this journal update an "unboxing" post, but my need to experience my new system drove me past the tipping point: I just had to get my hands on it. So I unboxed it last night.

So far my first impressions are all positive. The system is big, stylish, and it has a ton of cool features. The camera is fun, and it takes very good low-light pictures, too! I would assume the camera is 1.2MP, but it works well for the DSi XL. It even has two pre-installed Brain Age games, but I haven't tried those yet. I haven't tried those games because I bought a new DS game.

Along with the DSi XL, I also bought Shin Megami Tensei: Strange Journey. In fact, I bought my DSi XL because of that game. Since it is an unofficial sequel to the core MegaTen franchise, the game is loaded with complex menus and icons...and I needed a bigger screen to see all the beautiful detail. So yeah.

I can't wait to dive deeper into this system. It seems like it is going to treat me well, just like the old Nintendo DS Lite did.

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Vireo Belii

2010-05-14T11:31:00.002-05:00

Here I am, minding my own business, playing StarCraft at the dining room table when suddenly I hear a thud at the window. Instantly, I knew a bird hit the window, but I was in for a surprise -- the bird that hit the window was stunned on the back porch! Mosttimes they just fly away after hitting the glass, but that did not happen today. The poor little bird must have hit his head especially hard for him to be dazed and confused!

Anyway, I freaked out a little bit. I love birds and my heart would have broken into a million little pieces if the bird died. As I looked at the bird as it lay stunned, I was really hoping this scenario would turn out differently than the Bumblebee post from yesterday.

I carefully picked up the bird and gave him a close examination. I first looked to see if his neck was broken, since the neck is the first thing to break if a bird flies full-force into a hard surface. As I picked up the bird, he looked around in a stunned state, so I knew his neck was intact. The little bird was in the palm of my hand, but I still ran inside to get my digital camera because I wanted to commemorate this moment, even if it turned out tragically. I discovered how difficult it can be to insert a memory card into my camera with only one hand, but at least I know how to do it.

I ran back outside with my camera because I didn't want a little bird flying around inside the house if it recovered while I was trying to get my camera ready. So I'm back outside and the bird was still not out of the woods yet, so to speak. So I began to closely examine it for any other injuries. The bird was breathing really hard and his beak was open so I was concerned his beak was broken. Very carefully I closed his beak to see if it was possible. The bird opened his beak again, and again I would close it. The beak seemed intact -- there were no chips, breaks, or cracks, and alignment seemed right-on -- so I think the bird was just opening his beak to take in more oxygen. The poor little guy!

During this "bird physical," the bird seemed to be collecting himself. He was beginning to look around and close his beak. Eventually he would spread his little wings, but doing so would make him lose his balance. The bird probably spent about five to ten minutes in the palm of my hand coming back to reality. During that time I stroked his little head and body to make him feel more at ease.

Eventually, the bird flew away into a patch of low-lying bushes near the fence between Kevin's house and the duplex. Hopefully, the bird is fully recovered. Ultimately, I am just glad the bird wasn't so severely injured that death was imminent. Anyway, I did some sleuthing, and I am fairly certain this bird is a "Bell's Vireo." I've never heard of that variety, but he sure was a cute avian.

PICTURES!

From bellsvireo

I don't exactly have huge man-hands, so you know this bird is small if it can fit in my hand.

From bellsvireo

Op-checking systems....

From bellsvireo

Literally two seconds after I took these pictures, the bird flew away. So...ALL SYSTEMS A-GO!

From bellsvireo

I'm glad this story had a happy ending.

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The injured bee

2010-05-13T11:32:00.000-05:00

A little while ago I was in the back yard and I found this injured carpenter bee. They like to burrow into trees and houses, and they are fiercely territorial whenever they encounter each other. I'm guessing that is what happened to this bee; he encountered another carpenter bee and got severely injured. One of his wings is missing, and he was acting sluggish. I'm guessing his behavior was because he was close to death. Poor bee.

When I found the bee I took some pictures, but then I carefully placed him in some low-level brush so he could die peacefully.

Good-bye, Bee. I hope you are in Bee Heaven buzzing around and burrowing in trees.

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Me at 7

2010-05-07T16:14:00.001-05:00

From people

Today is my 31^st Birthday. I thought it would be appropriate to post this picture of me of when I was 7 years old. This picture was taken before my family moved to Maine; My mom thinks it was taken at Masthead Campground, in Bucksport, Maine. But what have you. I remember my uncle capturing the lunar moth, but I certainly don't remember that shirt, or this picture being taken. Strange.

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Please come prepared. Thank you.

2010-04-10T12:28:00.000-05:00

Earlier this week, I was riding the bus from school to Urbana. Naturally, since public transportation is an amalgamation of crazy and sane people, I see an old lady dragging a plastic bag behind her. I assumed it was full of groceries. Earlier in my life I would have offered my assistance as soon as I saw her. Perhaps I should have because my help then probably would have avoided the embarrassment I experienced later. What have you: Lesson learned.

I was waiting for the bus at the bus terminal as I saw the old lady go past me while dragging her bag. I ignored her for many reasons, but I think the primary reason I didn't choose to help her then was because I just get sick of being "That Guy" in public. I thought of the time that retarded guy was literally beating up on that other Down's Syndrome guy on the bus and I had to make a scene right there to get the abuse to stop. That whole situation was fucked-up and I had to be the adult on the bus because I couldn't remain detached while some asshole beat up on a defenseless guy with Down's Syndrome...on a crowded bus...with other bystanders watching the whole scene play out. Anyway...

My bus arrives and, sure enough, Old Lady needs to get on the bus I want to ride. Old Lady looked incapacitated somehow, so I asked her if she needed help with the trash bag full of groceries. She says yes and she boards the bus. I lift up the bag, and lo-and-behold, the bottom of the plastic disintegrates right there spilling about a dozen bottles of Vitamin Water. Since I offered my help to transport the bag from the platform to the bus, I then became the guy to try to "contain the situation" by gathering up this mess. Naturally I couldn't do this in an efficient way. Every place I tried to pick up the bag from the bottom, the bag would disintegrate spilling more bottles of drinks all over the platform. Of course Old Lady didn't have another plastic bag to replace the compromised bag. Somehow, by the power of not wanting to be embarrassed anymore by holding up a public transportation bus past its schedule, I manage to pick up the bag and transport it to the bus. Of course the bag is just barely holding itself together...just barely. I make it to the bus and the plastic trash bag just completely dies right there.

So now the bus is finally moving again but there are bottles of Vitamin Water rolling around the front of the bus. Between the terminal and her stop, me, Old Lady, and another (unhandicapped) rider are trying to rectify her situation. We place about six bottles in her purse. We also manage to fit the remaining bottles in a reusable bag. To my surprise -- and annoyance -- all of her groceries fit in that reusable bag! I have to ask the question: Why didn't she just use that reusable bag initially?

Along with the bottles rolling everywhere on the bus, we now had to deal with wayward slices of bread falling out of a bag, too. Why? Old Lady also had a loaf of bread in that plastic bag that disintegrated. Since Old Lady dragged the bag a great distance (from where I have no idea), the bag for the loaf of bread also got compromised, too. There are three of us trying to wrangle bottles of water and slices of bread by placing everything in a reusable bag that is just a little bit too small for the situation at hand. Her loaf of bread got crushed and destroyed. URGH!

Come to find out Old Lady had a stroke, I think, which made her paralyzed on one side of her body. I asked her if she had one of those grocery caddies that old people usually have, and she does have one! So now I have to ask another important question: Why didn't she leave her apartment prepared for the situation at hand? Didn't she think, or realize, that if she is a stroke victim who needs to go grocery shopping that she should bring all of the necessary hardware to make her excursion as efficient as possible? Instead: She dragged a plastic trash bag on the ground a great distance, which in turn completely disintegrated at a point in her trip that slowed everyone down by hindering the ability for a bus to maintain its schedule. Great planning, sister.

AND THEN, after all of that bullshit to just get on the bus and control Old Lady's mess, the bus driver still asks to see my bus pass. Really? Really? I did all of that and I can't get a fucking free ride on the bus? Eat my ass, you bureaucratic douche.

The situation was pretty damn annoying and embarrassing for me, and I'll bet it was doubly worse for Old Lady. I don't know, but I think the accident would have been worthwhile if she had real groceries that got out of control, instead of Vitamin Water. Vitamin Water? Oh for fuck's sake. Old Lady could have saved herself a ton of money and aggravation if she just made some Kool-Aid and threw in some Flintstones Vitamins in the mix. Seriously, that is what Vitamin Water is: It is fucking enhanced Kool-Aid with vitamins with a huge mark-up at the register. *grinds teeth*

AND THEN I spend the rest of the ride pressed up against a fat college student who was a bit tangy.

There are times I need to be reminded that using public transportation saves me money.

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Academic score. Score.

2010-03-01T13:07:00.001-06:00

Today I went to school even though I don't have classes on Tuesdays and Thursdays. I hope on the bus and make it to school at just past 10am. I noticed how few people were riding the bus to school, and I noticed how few students were in school when I arrived. I just chalked up the sparse student population to blocked-off class schedules, like mine. However, I walk past the library and I see all the lights are off. Oh shit. I walk back to one of the administration desks and ask them if the school is open today. It was, but it was "Professional Improvement Day," a day when the professors and instructors attend developmental meetings.

Anyway...

I make it to my professor's office and we begin to go over my first test. I didn't do so well on it: I got a 71 out of 100. :( So we go over my test and all the time I notice he is re-grading the answers I'm getting correct. I just chalked that up to him showing his notes. After we are done the test re-assessment he opens his grade book and changes my old grade to my new grade. As he did that I asked him what he was doing. He just said that whenever a student shows interest, and knowledge gained, on a test, he'll change the grade. I went from a 71 to an 85. Not too shabby, I'd say.
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My new Toshiba computer

2010-03-01T13:05:00.001-06:00

Yay. I'm pretty satisfied, and happy, right now. Yesterday when I got home from school I knew my computer wouldn't arrive at the house until after 3pm. So I hopped onto Kevin's computer and screwed off for a while. As I'm randomly surfing the interwebz, I hear the UPS truck drive away. Then I realize I subconsciously heard a really light knock at the front door. OMG! Getting back to the UPS personnel: I never understood why the delivery people just don't...I don't know...ring the goddamn doorbell. I think they think that no one is home during normal working hours -- and that is a logical assumption -- but it wouldn't hurt them to simply reach up and press a little button located next to our door. Really...

Alas, My computer is there on the door step. I quickly picked it up and brought it inside. I've never owned a new computer before so I couldn't wait to open the box.

From newcomputer

I begin to open the Amazon shipping box. The excitement is building!

From newcomputer

I remove the packing. Ooh, pretty....

From newcomputer

The box is free of the box!

From newcomputer

Opening the computer box...

From newcomputer

The computer is free of the box.

From newcomputer

Screen Condom.

From newcomputer

The touch-pad is the weirdest piece of hardware on my computer. It almost looks like it was sprayed on top of the outer shell. Spooky.

From newcomputer

A naked computer not yet turned-on.

From newcomputer

And it blends!

From newcomputer

Kevin's dinner

From newcomputer

I'm actually pretty satisfied with my computer. Unfortunately the built-in speakers are atrocious. They positively suck. The sounds that comes out of them is sub-par, I mean I might as well be listening to ear-buds. There is also a minor design flaw: There aren't any USB ports on the back of the laptop. Also, the DC-in port is located on the right side of the laptop -- next to the USB ports. It just seems sloppy to me to have these ports on either side of the laptop, considering protruding cords takes up works space on desks. Other than that the computer gets a 90% out of 100%.
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Puking and shitting. Shitting and puking.

2010-03-01T12:50:00.000-06:00

Urgh. Last night was so horrible, horrible, horrible. I caught Kevin's stomach flue. I was up until 4am pinwheeling. It was horrible.

Yesterday I realized I was feeling a bit nauseous before dinner and I had a sneaky suspicion I caught Kevin's stomach flu. Of course, I talked myself out of believing I could catch it since he stopped being sick about three days prior. I was wrong, obviously. Since the early evening I was literally pissing from my ass. I knew something was wrong with me but yet I still held onto hope that I wouldn't get as sick as he did last Monday.

Cut to midnight I feel really weighted down. My body feels like it weighs 400lbs. I'm shaking because I'm freezing, and the diarrhea continually got worse. Then that weird salivation begins and I know I'm in for some heaving. I make it to the bathroom upstairs but I somehow did not vomit even though I came very close. I realize I'm in for a long night so I go to the basement and grab a bucket just in case I feel the need to hurl sometime in the middle of the night.

I continue to get the chills and I'm feeling really bad. I make it downstairs around 12:30am and email one of my college instructors asking her if I can skip today since I really don't want to be pinwheeling in public. In the middle of the email I completely throw up the steak dinner Kevin made for me six hours previously. It all came up. All of it. Before I puked I felt like I had a sack of bricks in my stomach and I did feel better after I released yesterday's dinner. Almost immediately after that my muscles from my chest down to my toes seized up. My legs wouldn't respond to messages from my brain! It was like I was locked in 3d-space. My muscles were cramping really tightly and I was in serious pain. I literally couldn't move my legs, or stand up, for about fifteen minutes. It was so weird.

I go back upstairs and toss and turn in bed until 4am I think. I was still experiencing the chills so I turned on the heated mattress pad. It helped but throughout the night I was too hot instead of too cold. I also have a head-ache and my muscles are sore. Of course they are sore: They all seized up in the middle of the night after I puked.

It looks like I'll be on the clear diet for the next few days.

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My shiny, new PS3.

2010-01-22T17:40:00.000-06:00

Well, it was inevitable: I bought myself a shiny, new PlayStation 3. Thus far, I am thoroughly impressed by the machine.

I knew it was arriving yesterday, but I had to run errands outside the house; specifically, I had to go to the post office to send off PlayStation 1 memory cards customers bought through my Amazon store. As I was walking down Oregon Street, I saw the FedEx truck drive past me. I could also see the driver looking for house numbers. I was really excited, but I continued forth to the post office.

Once I made it back to the house, there was the box sitting on the front stoop. I picked it up and I realized it was heavy. I knew the system was heavy, but the weight took me off guard. I take the box inside the house and go to change my clothes since I got intentionally splashed by a driver while I was walking. Some people...

Once I'm dry I open the box in the living room. To my horror, both Amazon and FedEx totally botched the packing and shipping procedures and the contents of the shipping box got damaged! Along with the system, I also ordered Disgeae 3 and The House of Leaves. The BD case for the game somehow got smashed, and the book got water damaged – although not too badly. I was first pissed, and then worried. I thought that if a plastic case can be smashed open, would the system fare better?

Of course, I had to unhook my Sega Saturn from the TV and carefully put it back in its box.

From ps3

It was my intent to open the PS3 box and test out the system since sometimes hardware can malfunction between the assembly line and the customer. I didn't like the fact that both Amazon and FedEx increased the chances malfunction by their negligence. So I hook the system up to the TV and test all the media the disk drive can take: PS1, DVD, Blu-Ray, and Ps3 games all work. So I'm pleased the system didn't get damaged, but its box did.

From ps3

Once I had the system connected to the TV, the stand-by light turned on. I was excited!

From ps3

Now I'm really excited! I wanted to chronicle the first activation of the system, so I took a picture of my finger on the power button.

From ps3

And it is on!

From ps3

Much to my surprise, the PS3 can actually detect the intermittent wireless network from Trent's house. The system rates the signal strength at 65%. I'm surprised it is that high. I went ahead and downloaded the system update and created my PSN profile. Once I turned the system on, I knew I was in for a long system update. So once I created my PSN account, I initialized the system update. In the meantime I assembled a spinach pie for dinner since the system update took nearly 45 minutes.

From ps3

My PSN account username is “Gnurd,” which is the old way "nerd" used to be spelled in the 1960s before American pop culture got a hold of it and changed the spelling. While there may be millions of people on the PSN, I'm the only gnurd!

From ps3

I actually like how the x-media bar works for the system. I find it really sublime, especially when the violins gently massage my ears on system start-up. I can't wait to start playing the games I bought for the system (which I didn't own until yesterday) since they got good reviews.

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Just another horrible day.

2010-01-20T13:38:00.001-06:00

I don't understand what The Universe is thinking when it shows the horribleness of humanity to me. I get so sad and furious at the stupidity and cruelty of people I can barely comprehend a compassionate God.

I wake up today early because I had an appointment with my academic adviser regarding my future plans for transferring to the University of Illinois. Naturally -- since I had an important engagement -- the weather is fucked-up, so I have to walk to the bus stop. This isn't so bad BUT there was freezing rain which made walking nearly impossible. I go to the post office first to send off a PlayStation 1 memory card that was bought through my store. After that I walk to the bus stop nearby. Since the weather made driving a little bit difficult, most drivers were panicking and driving incredibly defensively, which in turn made the buses incredibly late. I looked at my watch and realize both of my options for getting to school meant I was going to be late for an important meeting. I had two options for getting to Parkland College: Take the Gray bus and be really late, or; take the Green and connect to the Brown and be less late. I chose the green option because I thought I could save some time, but that was not the situation. I didn't work. I arrived at the bus terminal at 10:00am. I had to use the desk phone to call the adviser to tell her I couldn't make the appointment on time. (I felt like such a jerk for asking to use the desk phone.) She understood, and that was OK. I actually felt a bit relieved. We rescheduled the appointment for next Wednesday -- in the afternoon. Hell, at least I'll already be at the college so I shouldn't be late.

Of course, I wouldn't be so damn depressed if I didn't see what I saw next: I saw a mother abusing her child in the bus terminal. It wasn't the usual punishments that mothers usually dispense upon their children; This woman was thrashing her child right there! This little boy was screaming, "No, no, no," and no one did anything to stop her. It was so fucked-up. Yesterday I went to Target to buy a Ps2slim so I could test my Ps1 memory cards. After I did that I walked to the mall (about 1/5 of a mile) so I could catch the south-bound bus back to Urbana. In the mall, at the bus stop, I saw the same exact thing. This mother must have hit or grabbed her daughter really hard because the daughter started bawling right there. The mother was like, "Put your coat on!" Again, no one did anything to help the child. I sat in another part of the mall wing just so I could be away from that bitch and that situation. It was sickening to watch then.

It was sickening to watch again today. It is sickening to realize that right now -- this very instant -- little defenseless kids are being abused by their parents. I've asked this question before, but it deserves restating: Why do people have children if they simply cannot handle the pressure of parenthood? Is it really that hard to not get pregnant? Is it really too much to ask to put a condom on before you fuck? It must be, but that doesn't matter. It only matters that there are legions of children who will grow up to be abusers themselves. They will grow up in unimaginable home situations that will yield violent adults. The cycle of poverty and abuse continues.

So: If The Universe does show me these things, what am I supposed to do? Am I responsible for those children by those other adults? Am I supposed to stop the physical and emotional abuse whenever I see it? Is that my responsibility to do so when I see it -- to simply walk over to them in public and say, "Hey, stop beating your kid! You only have one chance to raise them right, so don't do it."? What about their responsibility -- the responsibility of adults -- to simply know their situations in their lives that would tell them they cannot have children?

I am not responsible for their kids. They are. I hate the fact I feel like I need to rescue these kids, but don't. I hate the fact people are stupid and cruel and fucking irresponsible. I truly grieve for those poor kids.

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My video game collection.

2010-01-13T21:46:00.001-06:00

I spent years, and a ton of money, to build my game collection. It will never be complete, but I think it is pretty complete right now. I am proud of it.

From gamecollection

RAIHO!

From gamecollection

I have the hologram edition of Majora's Mask.

From gamecollection

Games without boxes.

From gamecollection

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Shopping excursion

2010-01-10T11:09:00.000-06:00

Yesterday Kevin and I went to BestBuy so that he could take advantage of a 10% off coupon. While we were there he made a bee-line for the flat-screen TVs, and I ran toward the video game section of the store. There, I came across a married couple discussing prices of XBox 360 controllers. The husband and wife were discussing the pluses and minuses of wired controllers and trying to figure out if a complete controller pack -- the SKU with the rechargeable battery, charger cable, and controller -- was better than the stand-alone controller. I couldn't stand this conversation: I had to interject my knowledge on this subject.

I nonchalantly walk over to the lady and tell her that she can save a ton of cash if she just orders the very same controllers from Amazon.com. She replies something along the lines of, "Oh yeah, if I could save about $8 to $10 on tax and shipping, I could wait for [the controllers] to arrive." I excused myself and walked away feeling victorious I accomplished a two-fer: Saving people money and reducing the profits of an unscrupulous big-box store.

Of course, I began thinking not too long after I had that discussion with that woman. Why would they [consumers] settle for buying merchandise in stores if ordering online saves money? From what she said to me, she was willing to wait if she could save money on tax and shipping. Why was she this close to buying the XBox 360 controller in the store? Was she trying to satisfy the itch of rampant consumerism? Was money just burning a hole in her pocket? I guess I'll never know.

Speaking of people who spent too much money: Steve L. just got himself a Nintendo Wii. I am not one to accuse people of spending money on shit they don't need: I do that all the time. However, I was especially vexed as to why a man who never played video games since the 1980s would want a Wii. He says he wanted the Wii for people to play when they come over to visit, but large groups of people rarely visit Steve at one time. Steve likes sports games, but those genres are better suited for Xbox 360 and PS3. If Steve is not a gamer, does not have regular visitors, and would have a better experience with a more advanced system, why did he get a Wii? I don't doubt he would have fun with it for now. I just think, in the future, he'll realize he really doesn't want, need, or like the Wii. I have a feeling that Wii will be mine by the end of 2010.

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Snow Season

2010-01-08T13:30:00.001-06:00

I hate shoveling the snow. I always hated it. I always will.

Since beautiful Urbana got about ten inches of snow between yesterday and today, I spent the past two days shoveling! Yesterday was the worst. I was outside from 11am to 3:10pm just shoveling. There was one span of time in which I just stood, not moving, looking at the remaining snow that had to be shoveled. Since it was late I didn't have too much snow left, but my back was hurting, my fingers were hurting, and I was damn cold and tired. But I had to finish.

I did.

When I came inside the first thing I did was completely undress at the bottom of the stairs down to my skivvies. I didn't want to track wet snow all through the house. I went upstairs and turned on the shower. Yes! I waited for this! I've been waiting to unthaw my body since I've been working so hard outside. I made sure the shower was warm, but not too hot. I got naked and stepped under the shower. Suddenly, the areas of my body that experienced the most cold -- my thighs, butt, and face -- had the weirdest sensation come over them. The water was both hot and cold at the same time.

I freaked out a little bit.

I turned down the temperature of the water to luke-warm, but that weird dual-temperature sensation still persisted, although not as severely. Basically I turned myself around under the luke-warm shower-head, like a rotisserie chicken, to bring my surface temperature back to normal. Eventually I achieved normalcy. I washed my body, dried off, and got back in my pajamas!

Today there was more snow on the areas I did yesterday. I would estimate the snow drifts redeposited approximately two inches of snow back in the driveway. I spent about one hour and fifteen minutes clearing snow again. I then also shoveled some of the sidewalks, since Urbana expects its citizens to shovel state-owned property.

Now I am sitting here experiencing a sense of accomplishment. I am about to enjoy a delicious lunch -- a lunch that I think I earned today. I feel pretty good.

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Winter Weather

2010-01-07T10:49:00.001-06:00

But I don't want to shovel!

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dream scape

2010-01-06T11:13:00.000-06:00

For the second night in a row, I've had this reoccurring dream. In this dream I am me: that is; I am lucid, and I am looking at a once-beautiful mountain. Crawling up the side of this mountain is new urban sprawl: McMansion houses; big trucks excavating the soil; destruction. I am standing in the older part of this urban sprawl and I notice the trees were planted after this sprawl was built. I thought to myself: "Why didn't we just leave this mountain alone? It was beautiful as it was. Why do we need to plant trees after we destroy a beautiful place? Is it to gloss over the fact we completely destroyed an area that was doing fine without us? Are we trying to trick ourselves into thinking we aren't bad for the environment?"

And then I woke up.

I've said it before, and I'll say it again because I believe it: There will be nothing beautiful in the future. There will be no wide, open spaces for play or recreation. There will be no unspoiled wilderness areas. There will be no clean oceans or lakes. Humans will cut down everything, pave over everything, and pollute everything before we realize we don't really need another housing sub-division or shopping mall. By that time the Earth will be ugly and barren. I find the idea even more frightening knowing that I'll be alive long enough to see this inevitable future.

Good-bye. It was nice knowing you...even for a little while.

From ely2009

⊗

I love having a clean library.

2009-12-31T09:51:00.000-06:00

Media Library, that is.

It feels good to be done with the Game Cleaning Project. The project took longer than it should have, but it feels good to know that my games are clean and shiny – almost like new. I would have been done if school projects, and studying for tests, didn't interfere with my free time!

About a six weeks ago I opened all of my Nintendo game cartridges to clean the copper pins. I thought I had all of the necessary tools to do so, but I didn't. I only had a rubber eraser to clean the copper pins. I realized that after trying to clean one game using the rubber eraser that I would be literally be rubbing upon those cartridges for hours, if not days. So I had Riley drive me around the shopping district on Prospect Ave so I could find some official electrical contact cleaner. I did find that stuff, but only in spray or towelette form. I didn't want those: I wanted the paste that I saw on the internet. Hell, that DeOxit paste wasn't even found on Amazon.com. Eventually, I discover that I can use Brasso, so I bought some from the grocery store.

Between Tuesday and Wednesday I completely cleaned my entire NES, SNES, and N64 collection. I also cleaned the plastic shells since some of those were filthy, too. Much to my surprise, the N64 games come with additional signal shielding. Some of those signal shields were filthy, as well. Now, I just didn't use Brasso to clean the games, I also used window cleaner to buff the contacts, and then I used a completely clean t-shirt to rub off any residue that might have been behind from the previous two steps. My thumb on my right hand was numb and tingly near the end of this cleaning process. Some of my games were so dirty they required multiple passes to lift off the grime the previous owners deposited. There were two games – Heavy Barrel and Super Mario All Stars – that had to be seen to be believed. Gross. Since almost all of my games were bought used, I wonder how the previous owners allowed them to get that dirty in the first place? What were the previous owners like? Were they just dirty people, and didn't care for their media libraries?

Of course, I'm still wondering if using Brasso was a good thing for my precious games. I emailed a YouTube user, since he featured that technique in one of his videos, and asked him if that was safe. He came back to me and said it was. Of course...he is just a YouTube user, not a professional electrician, so he could be parroting what someone told him was safe. Hell, DeOxit and Brasso could have the same ingredient list. I don't know. It isn't uncommon to have companies re-brand the same compound into different products for similar purposes. While I was enlisted in the Marine Corps, I learned that oven cleaner works wonders on ceramic bath tubs and bathroom tiles. Later on, I used Scrubbing Bubbles, and discovered that cleaning compound smells exactly like oven cleaner, only less intense. Whodathunk?

Anyway, I'm glad I won't have to go on a huge cleaning excursion like that ever again. From now on I'll just clean the games as soon as I buy them.

From cleanitfinal

This is the cleaning rag after I buffed three of the five signal shields for the N64 games. Icky.

From cleanitfinal

⊗

Getting drunk and shit

2009-12-30T00:09:00.001-06:00

Not too long ago, like maybe 10 minutes ago, I was a 5.5 on my 6-point scale of intoxication. I mean, I actually had to pull out the waste basket in the kitchen just to make sure I didn't puke on the floor anywhere in the house. I don't feel really puke-y right now, but before I thought I was going to expel the chicken stuffing and Rum & Coke I had for dinner. Perhaps I should eat my broccoli instead. Maybe I wouldn't feel so nauseous.

Blerg...

Oh. And fuck me for thinking I could actually immediately play the 14-day trial of World of Warcraft I bought recently. I bought this goddamn DVD with the trial, and I go to play the trial in my computer, right? Well, the DVD installs itself into my computer, but then begins to install a 3.6GB patch. That wouldn't be that bad if I didn't have to install the patch over a DSL connection. I've been waiting for this bitch for like 3 hours already. No lie. I just wanted to play a goddamn fucking demo of a game, and I have to fucking baby-sit a goddamn computer just so I can play this fucking demo? Eat my ass, Internet. Eat my ass while I fart in your face! I actually had to relocate my piece-of-shit computer into a better reception area of the house just so I could marginally increase my bandwidth by a few percentage points. Right now my goal isn't to fucking play the game: It is to simply get the entire patch installed on my P.O.S. computer so I can play it later. Fuck you, WoW. Eat my tainted cunt.

⊗.

A Better Christmas

2009-12-27T11:15:00.000-06:00

I'm glad this Christmas is done. I think the past few years I was getting tired of looking for "that perfect gift" or "finding the perfect sale" or making sure that the gifts I bought for my friends were relevant for their personalities. It is also tough being away from my mom, who really cannot handle the loneliness of this holiday since her offspring moved away from her when we became adults. That is what happens, but I think she has a difficult time understanding the fact her children are now adults.

Anyway, Kevin and I are preparing to drive up to Chicagoland to spend time with his mom and his mentally-disabled sister. Almost immediately I begin to get annoyed. We didn't leave the house until 90 minutes after we wanted to. The tardiness was caused by me since I called my mom on Christmas morning. Naturally, she was an emotional wreck because she is lonely. That held us up. I usually like driving but when we left we had to drive in a light snow. I wasn't too worried, but I was still concerned about skids and accidents. Eventually we arrive at Marlene's house and unload our luggage, gifts, and cookies. Jan makes a bee-line for the cookies and begins to rummage through them. Kevin and Mom Price tell her that she cannot have one, but she takes a cookie anyway. I go up to Jan and ask her why she took a cookie after she was told not to eat one. She looks at me and actually says something like, "I already started eating it, so oh well." Whoa! I took the half-eaten cookie and thew it away in the trash. Kevin pointed at me in that "What are you doing don't do that again" kind of way. There was a hundred things Jan could have said that wouldn't have pissed me off, but she had to pick a phrase from the other list of one-hundred things that did piss me off. She came off like a petulant little girl and I can't handle that spoiled attitude. She also feigns for cigarettes constantly, but her mom regulates her intake. So she constantly shadows Mom Price because she is a hard-core addict. Near the end of the weekend both Kevin and Mom Price were getting really annoyed with Jan. All three of us had to constantly tell her to sit down and stop bothering Mom Price.

The other annoying aspect to the weekend was the fact that Mom Price is getting old and she has a difficult time remembering things from...five minutes ago. Everyone, at one point, has just been flaky for some reason. Old people tend to be this way to some degree, but this level of forgetfulness seems really severe for this woman. Mom Price had to ask Kevin or me what day it was. No big deal, but...she asked that question five times on Friday and twice on Saturday. Since she is so forgetful, she also has a hard time figuring out what she wants or needs to do next. Usually, Kevin and his mom will go out shopping to help her out, but actually getting her out the door is a chore in and of itself. Getting cleaned up, showering, and getting dressed is confusing and time consuming. Those tasks that would take most people approximately thirty minutes takes her 90. Once she accomplishes one thing she has a difficult time figuring out what has to be done next. Kevin has to constantly hover over her to keep her moving and focused. I have a feeling she is losing the ability to take care of herself. Her situation is doubly-worse considering she has to take care of her daughter who has a mental disability. I have a feeling her time of independence is coming to a close.

Since it takes Mom Price so long to get simple tasks done, Kevin and I didn't leave her house until...two hours past the point I wanted to leave. Kevin said that we would leave after we ate breakfast, but at the last minute him and his mom decided to exchange gifts at a department store. I knew, knew, that task would take twice as long as it should. They left for the stores at 12:15pm and didn't return until 1:45pm, I think. Since his mom is so forgetful, and because Jan needs constant supervision, I can guarantee they all spent at least 75% of that time just trying to figure out what to do next.

The weekend just seemed like a Weekend of Waiting. I am fairly lax, although when I want to get something done, I want to get it done. I see the goal and I accomplish the interim steps to get to that goal as efficiently as I possibly can. I don't want to wait, Wait, WAIT and try to coordinate scatter-brained people to try to get tasks done.

Inefficiency is one of my pet peeves.

EVENTUALLY, Kevin and I arrive back in Urbana. We didn't leave Chicagoland until 2:30pm, I think, which means we didn't arrive here until 5:30pm. The drive going south was treacherous. I was an emotional wreck (HA!) because the roads were in poor condition and there were wind gusts that rocked the Subaru. After we ate dinner we brushed aside plans to drive to Danville for a Christmas party. We both were not in the mood to spend another two hours on treacherous roads. BUT...!...we did exchange presents. I think that made up for my cranky mood. I bought Kevin some nice, functional thermal shirts and two nice sweaters. He got me lamb-skin slippers which look really expensive. I'll have to take care of them. We both really enjoyed our gifts.

Christmas is a time for family and friends, but at the same time I shouldn't feel aggravated. I don't know if this feeling is caused by my selfishness. I just found this weekend...annoying. I know Kevin loves his family, and I also know that I am part of his family since he chose me to be a part of him, but I just feel like this weekend could have been better for all of us. Kevin shouldn't have to manage his mother. Mom Price shouldn't have to manage her daughter. I shouldn't have to be bored and annoyed with petty family dynamics. I almost took a hit of weed when I returned to Urbana.

Next year I think I'll fly to Maine to visit my mom. It has been three years since we last saw each other. Besides, if I am going to be annoyed with forgetful parents, dysfunctional family dynamics, and travel in bad weather, I might as well spend that time with someone with whom I can tolerate those annoyances.

:|

⊗

Wrapped Presents

2009-12-24T13:46:00.001-06:00

I just wrapped Kevin's presents for Christmas. Much to my surprise, I didn't freak out when things didn't go right, like I tend to do. Now, since I rarely wrap anything, the first present I wrapped was the most jacked-up. I mean...I seriously underestimated the amount of paper I needed. I had to cut a strip of paper to cover the exposed area of the box that would have been revealed with the piece of paper I thought would be enough to cover the entire box. Oops.

The subsequent three boxes I needed to wrap went smoothly. I bought clothes for Kevin, but I only had one dedicated "box for clothes": The kind that stores give when people buy apparel. Therefore, I had to raid my box stash in the basement so I cold wrap the rest of his presents. I think it would be truly surprising to discover clothes in non-clothes dedicated boxes. I know he'll like his gifts; I just want him to be surprised at what he is getting.

On a side note: Today is December 24^th, but it doesn't feel like Christmas Eve.

⊗

The weekend

2009-12-22T12:27:00.001-06:00

I had an interesting, depressing weekend:

On Friday I received a panicked email from my mom stating that Julie the cockatiel was very close to death. I called my mom on Saturday and she was an emotional wreck. Maybe her feelings would have been buffered by time and acceptance, but I called her one hour after the bird died in her hands. Mom was not in a happy place. Neither was I. Most of Saturday morning I was a blubbering idiot over a bird. Then I had to drive to Chicago.
So Kevin and I start to drive to Chicago for a planned weekend with Bob and Steve. I barely made it out of Urbana when I ran a yellow light. Kevin freaked out and told me to pull over. He told me I shouldn't run red lights. Jesus Christ, I wouldn't have crossed that intersection if the light was red, or approaching red. The intersection lights just turned yellow and I relized I would have had to brake aggressively to stop before the lights turned red: So I went through. Now we are both pissed at each other. It was early Saturday afternoon.
We arrive in Chicago and eventually meet up with "The Twins." We putz around the city. I'm trying to take pictures with my new camera to see how the pictures look. I must have stopped too many times because Kevin is yelling at me to keep up. Angrily, he tells me to put my camera away because we aren't going to stop every minute so I can take pictures. Blah. I don't understand why I have to stay with the group. I'm a big boy. I can take care of myself.
Speaking of pictures, I realized I forgot the SD memory card for my digital camera in Urbana. The camera has 75MB of internal memory, which means it can only hold between 12 and 30 pictures. Near Bob's apartment there is a CVS drug store, and since drug stores are basically mini-super markets I knew there would be memory cards there. I also knew, KNEW, I would be completely and totally screwed on the price of a new memory card for my camera. I'm in the CVS looking at the prices of the 4GB and 8GB memory cards, and I just decide to bite the bullet and buy the 8GB version. I paid $50, plus tax, which made that memory card around $57 total. It came in handy, but I'm not going to lie: I had this niggly feeling, the entire weekend, that memory card cost me a fortune. Yesterday I knew I was in for a stupendous surprise. I checked Amazon.com to see how much I overpaid for that 8GB memory card. I looked at the prices online, and I overpaid by about $37! Holy fucking shit I want my money back.
After that unpleasant surprise I thought I would treat myself to a cinematic treat. It has been a while since I've seen a movie, and besides, nothing beats the experience of a huge movie screen. So I chose the movie The Road. Yes, The Road, the movie that shows where humanity is going because of affluenza and environmental neglect. Early in the movie, as The Man and The Boy are scavenging the landscape for necessities, they infiltrate an abandoned shopping mall. As they are exploring the abandoned stores, they step over piles of fine jewelry and paper money. They didn't even notice those things on the floor. I guess when the biosphere gets destroyed, and food is incredibly scarce, money and style go out the window -- they get set aside for the real things that count. At one point in the movie, the two characters are so starved they have to share a cricket. Of course, a movie this visceral has to have a semblance of optimism and hope at the end. Near the end of the movie, The Boy finds a beetle, but he didn't know what it was. He shows his father the beetle, and the father was amazed, too. The beetle flies off into the distance. At the end of the movie, The Man dies leaving the young Boy all alone to fend for himself. Not too soon after, he gets discovered by another family that was following The Man and The Boy to make sure they were OK. The Boy being rescued, and the living beetle, show the movie audience that someday the biosphere will come back, but that point is still far into the future.
So yeah. My weekend could have been less depressing. The death of a beloved pet, the bickering, and a really depressing science-fiction movie set my mood. I really hope this upcoming weekend is better.

⊗

The Final Flight.

2009-12-19T10:32:00.002-06:00

Julie, the cockatiel, died this morning at 8:30am EST. The time was nigh for this bird, considering he was almost 20, I think. My mom was telling me how he was acting over the past week, and it was pretty tragic. He was being aloof, and had a really difficult time staying awake. He was also starting to lose his feathers, even though birds don't molt at this time of year. This morning he was perched on top of the back of a chair next to the radiator, as he was trying to stay warm, and he was acting really ill. Suddenly, strangely, he seemed to perk up: He chirped once, normally, and flew into the other room. My mom went to look for him but he was nowhere to be found. My mom found Julie splayed on the floor still alive, but really close to death. So Mom picked him up and folded his wings back properly. Julie looked up at my mom and closed his eyes and died in her hands.

From archive

⊗

Buy and Sell

2009-12-18T16:32:00.001-06:00

I am done with my Christmas shopping. I feel so relieved. I changed over the years. I remember I used to like going to big, crowded shopping malls and just watch the people shopping. I found it fascinating. I found fascination in the number of people and how different they all were from each other: Tall and Short; Skinny and Fat; whitest Whites and the blackest Blacks; Edgy and Sane. I thought it was a venerable microcosm of humanity. Sometime over the past decade I changed. Now I feel a distinct sense of claustrophobia in the crowds. I feel a distinct sense of despair at how much people feel the need to buy, Buy, BUY without any regard to how much money they spend, and why they need mountains of shit in the first place. Whatever. I can't tell people how to [over]spend what they earn. The end of oil will dictate that.

But alas, while I was acquiring, I was also unloading. A few hours yesterday I listed a bunch of old video games, some game guides, a Nintendo DS, and a Super Nintendo on Amazon. While I was listing my items, I sold the Nintendo DS. I checked the time stamp from when it sold, and it stayed listed in my store a whopping 45 minutes. I found that astounding. Yesterday I sent the Nintendo DS to the buyer. Today I sent off Panzer Dragoon Orta for the XBox and The World Ends with You for the DS. I put my store on a vacation status because I don't want to think of people buying from when during this weekend when I cannot sent things through the mail. So I'm pretty happy I was able to unload some of my old stuff. I hope the recipients enjoy it as much as I have.

И

Christmas Shopping Shanannigans

2009-12-15T22:30:00.000-06:00

Why the fuck are retail stores so goddamn greedy? Around August or September, I bought myself some new clothes, which was something I haven't done for myself in about 2 years. I found some really nice thermal long-sleeved shirts, and some front-striped casual shirts. Back then, they were $9.99. What is the big deal now? Kevin expressed interest in acquiring some of those very shirts for his wardrobe. I go to JC Pennies, and lo-and-behold, those very same shirts, the shirts I bought for $10, are now $15! Umm...aren't clothes supposed to get cheaper the longer they stay on the shelf? Double-U Tee Eff, mutherfucker.

Of course, it took me an hour to get to the mall since public transportation scales back its routes after 6PM. I left the house at 6:20, and I didn't get to the mall until just about 7:30. Of course, it is one of the coldest nights of the winter so far, so I froze my ass off bicycling to the bus stop in 10° to catch a bus. I eventually make it to the mall, only to realize the very objectives I went there for increased in price by 50%. Now, I still have 90 minutes and I really didn't want to head back to Urbana empty handed, so I window-shopped until I found some really sweet deals.

And I did. I found some shirts, and a really nice sweater, on sale. I think I scored sufficiently well. Of course, I know that those very same items will decline in price right before the holiday. Then, those prices will drop precipitously after the holiday. I told Kevin that I would finish my Christmas shopping after Christmas. He understands.

I know those retail stores buy clothes for dirt cheap, and then mark them up a couple thousand percentage points. It also sucks that I have a "No China" clause, because some of the nicest items I found that Kevin would like were made in China. Whatever. I don't want to support a communist regime. Of course, buying clothes that were made in some Pacific rim country isn't any better: They use child labor. What option do I have? Do I spend money on merchandise from a country that will eventually use military might to take over the world and impose a New World Order, or do I spend money on merchandise from a country that uses slave child labor? Decisions, decisions.

I may have a "Buy nothing from China" clause, but I don't have a "Steal nothinig from China" clause. Since those greedy retail stores knowingly buy their stock from those unscrupulous countries, I would really like to steal from them. I would really like to curtail those profits since those retail stores actively support child slave labor, and communism.

My new digital camera was made in China. Should I return it?

И

School Semester Done

2009-12-15T16:47:00.001-06:00

Today was another good day. I had two finals for my classes this semester, and I did really well on them. I got an 80 on my Speech 101 final, and I knew almost all the answers to the questions on my Film Appreciation final. Now, the reason I got a "B" was because I over-interpreted the questions and answered them wrong on the speech exam. However, I asked the professor what my grade for this class would be, and he told me I would probably get an "A" for that class. That makes me exceedingly happy.

There were two questions that left me clueless on the Film Appreciation exam. I think it was their wording that confused me. For lack of a better phrase, I was lost in the sauce on those questions, but I attempted to answer them as best as I could. The great news is that I got 50/50 points on my final essay that was assigned for the film class. The class instructor, Joi Hoffsommer, said that my essay was "easy to read" since I actually used proper grammar, syntax, and used peer-reviewed research to back up my thesis. She told me that my essay was a joy to read...unlike some other essays she read from my class.

I feel like I actually accomplished something for once in my life. This is not a hollow victory. Now I only have one more semester at Parkland College. Then I'll be done.

I feel good.

И

Copyright my ass

2009-12-14T11:09:00.000-06:00

I believe a major reason people "steal" music is because the music companies are too damn greedy. I firmly believe if the music artists received more money for their music people would be less apt to illegally download music. The reasoning is, "The music company will just keep 97% of net profits, so I am really not stealing from the artist, since they are barely getting anything anyway. I'm just ~~stealing~~ curtailing profits from the company."

I don't like illegally downloading music, but I also don't like buying CDs that only have 3 good songs out of 15, so I "favorite" videos on Youtube. That seems like a good option, right? The record companies get to control the media, but yet give people access to a copyrighted song. Everyone is happy. Until that video gets taken down. What option do people like me have if we just want to listen to a favorite song? We, the remotely tech-savvy people, hit up the torrent transfer programs to acquire a whole damn CD just to listen to that favorite song we lost access to.

I'm actually quite annoyed with YouTube right now since about 10 songs I favorited got taken down recently. I'm guessing those songs got relocated to some other channel, but I still have to find them. Why were they relocated or removed? What was the reasoning?

*heavy sigh*

‡

My Review of the Samsung SL720 12.2MP digital camera

2009-12-10T18:57:00.002-06:00

I've been testing out my brand-spanking-new Samsung 12.2MP digital camera. And I am really, really digging how AWESOME it is! I mean, I was literally speechless at the detail of the pictures, especially the close-up (macro) pictures.

Things I like about my new camera:
It has a literal metric tonne of features for a point-and-shoot. I'll never program the damn thing. I just wanted a camera that wasn't as fussy as my previous Samsung, which this one is. It takes relatively blur-free pictures in unfavorable lighting conditions. That pleases me. The camera takes pictures fast, even when the specifications are turned up all the way with maximum megapixel rating. The view screen is big and fast. It can even record video in high-def, and even allow the user to zoom while recording. That is pretty hard to find in a point-and-shoot camera. Did I forget to mention it has a ton of features, firing modes, and settings. Yeah...

Things that are weird about my new camera:
Since this camera has a wide-angle lens, it yields a subtle reverse fish-eye effect on the view screen. Objects framed in the center of the screen look farther away than objects closer to the edge of the screen. It isn't too distracting, though. Start-up time isn't bad at all but it just "feels like" the camera could boot-up quicker than it already does.

Things I don't like about my camera:
No piece of technology is without flaws. This sweet camera is no exception. First, my biggest gripe is with the battery. The camera uses a proprietary battery pack. I was trying to avoid anything proprietary, but I guess technology is heading into that direction -- whether the user likes it or not. The camera didn't even include a battery pack recharger. That means the whole camera, with the battery inserted, has to be hooked up to a proprietary USB cable connected to a computer; or, attached to that USB cable connected to an included outlet plug. Secondly, the LCD screen is so big, it pushes the tiny buttons close together to one side of the camera. I believe it shouldn't require too much concentration to access the buttons. Finally, Samsung didn't even include a camera pouch. I got a camera pouch with my Digimax A7, so why didn't I receive one with this SL720? Come on, Samsung, throw me a bone here.

Overall:
I really like this camera. Like I said above, the proprietary battery non-sense is annoying. However, the features are overflowing and the camera is snappy so I got myself a really great value for my dollar. 4 out of 5 stars.

∃

School Projects Done

2009-12-09T23:16:00.000-06:00

Today was my last "big day" for this semester. I had two final projects due; One for my speech class and one for my Film Appreciation class.

Since today was so damn windy and cold, the wind-chill was somewhere in the teens. I took a taxi to the Illinois Terminal so I could catch the bus. I get to the terminal, and -- unlike the last time -- I was in time for one of the buses that goes in that direction. I make it to school in time for my first class, which is Introduction to Liberal Arts and Sciences. That class is basically a critical thinking course. I had to write seven essays in that class throughout the semester. So, I'm in class, and the final that class is a take-home essay question: "What are the three elements of this class." Are you kidding me? I'll have that done in one hour. I was happy about that good news.

I go to my second class, which is speech, and I deliver my oral presentation last. The class professor said that this speech had to incorporate a PowerPoint presentation but the presentation was not supposed to have the outlined speech. Basically, the presentation was supposed to have some sort of graphic that complimented the speech in some way. I was one of two students, out of the four who delivered their speeches, who actually honored that requirement. The two other students had their speeches outlined in the PowerPoint slides, which they weren't supposed to do. Also, one of those presenters ran over her time by thirty seconds so she couldn't even finish her conclusion. I didn't feel bad for her because she admitted she bought one of her previous speeches. Whatever, you cheating bitch. Alas, I was well within the allotted time I was given for my presentation. I was pleased with myself.

Finally, my last class was Film Appreciation. Even though it is an elective that seemed pretty "fluff," I was surprised at how relevant it was to me. I now have a more critical eye whenever I watch a movie. I can recognize things I was taught in class in movies I watch, which seems pretty cool to me. The reason why I am so happy about this class is because I had to turn in the essay that was required for that class. It was a small five-page research essay of my choosing. I chose how I thought Fight Club prophesied the destruction of industrialized civilization due to rampant consumerism.

So. I had a fucking good day. Yes, I did suffer from insomnia the previous night until 4:30am this morning. Much to my surprise, I remained fairly coherent throughout the day. I just feel really happy for once.

Oh yes. I also got my brand-new 12.2MP Samsung digital camera from Amazon today. I can't wait to try it out. I hope it serves me as well as my previous 7MP Samsung Digimax A7 did.

∅

almost done...almost

2009-12-07T20:59:00.001-06:00

I'm glad this semester is almost done. Not because it was so horrible, but because I know I just should be done with community college by now. I would be done, but I've fucked around too much in the past. Where is my head? Too far up my ass? Perhaps. Anyway, I still have one more semester of required electives. After that, a real college. Of course, I wonder how I will handle real college if I can barely tolerate college-lite known as community college.

I just have a strong feeling that if I was in a better learning environment, I would learn better. The mentality of a very large percentage of the students at Parkland is just...I don't know...lazy. I'll never forget my English 101 class from a year ago. It started off with about 35 students. By the end of the semester, it was down to me and two other female students. WTF. A whole class just jumped ship! I was talking with Diana McDonald, and I asked her how she felt about this abandonment. She basically said that those students earned their grades and there was nothing she could do about their initiative. So tragic.

Here I am in the final week of my best semester. I do feel good, like I did accomplish something. It is just that this feeling of accomplishment is tied to a bitter sense of urgency and loss. I feel weird. But I'll be glad when I'm done.

∅

List on Craig

2009-12-03T15:59:00.001-06:00

I need to update more. Eh.

A few months ago, I had bad luck trying to unload all of my old Marine Corps gear I don't need anymore. Recently, I've been having some good luck on CraigsList, though. I listed my sweet hot 7MP Samsung digital camera for sale for $50. Since 7MP is ancient, compared to current cameras, I was shooting for the stars regarding my asking price. Yesterday some (slightly crazy) blond lady replied that she wanted my camera for $40. I said OK and we exchanged money and merchandise at the Urbana Free Library.

Also on CR, I found a listing for a modified PS1 that could play Japanese games. The sale would have been pretty sweet, except the fact I didn't want all the items in that sale: The sale included the modified PS1 and a ton of imported games plus six official memory cards. I only wanted the PS1 memory cards. Those just happen to be really hard to find, so therefore they are worth quite a bit even used when sold on the internet. So this guy comes over to the house and I hook up the modded PS1, and it plays the imported games just fine. I tested one of my North American games and the system cannot read the game. The guy then tells me there is some swapping technique to getting the system to read games from both regions. I let this guy know that I was willing to buy the system if it worked as implied in the online listing, but I would still be interested in buying the PS1 memory cards. The guy acquiesced and I bought six official PS1 memory cards for dirty cheap. I op-checked them, so they work, but two of them need their copper contacts cleaned. That shouldn't be to hard for me to execute. Even if I accidentally destroy those two cards that need to be cleaned, I can still make a profit from the other four that are in 100% working order.

Speaking of cleaning copper, I had to buy Brasso from Schnuck's grocery store a few weeks ago. I find it a little humorous that I used to own gallons of that stuff that I barely used while I was enlisted, but I didn't have when I really needed it recently. It is a good thing Brasso has more than one use. I am waiting impatiently to clean my cartridge games. I won't be able to do that until after the end of this school semester, it looks like. :/

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cleaning

2009-11-25T19:03:00.003-06:00

I was going to post last weekend, but I feel that I am entering into my malaise mood again: Why write about the moment when I can half-remember things a week later? Blah.

But anyway, last weekend was quite busy for me. I accomplished many tasks at hand, but I didn't complete the tasks I wanted to complete.

The first thing I wanted to do was start cleaning my cartridge video games. I cleared off the dining room table to make way for the wave of PCB boards and plastic cartridge shells I had to clean. I unscrew the security screws from the cartridges and place them in little glass dishes. Opening the NES and SNES games was straight forward. Opening the N64 games surprised me: There is signal shielding inside the cartridges!Not only do I have to open N64 cartridges, I also had to open the signal shield with a conventional phillip's-head screw driver. Crazy. Once the table is completely covered with opened games I realized I couldn't clean the copper contacts! Now it is the early afternoon on Saturday so I think to myself I have plenty of time to run out and buy some copper contact cleaner. I called Riley for a ride and he came and picked me up around 2:30pm. We hop-scotch around four big-box stores and there is no goddamn cleaner anywhere! We wasted three hours. Well, the time spent driving aimlessly wasn't a complete wash. I did manage to find some padded envelopes for when I sell things on Amazon.

We drive back to Kevin's house and we make an evening of smoking pot and watching retarded racist animation from the 1940s. I served him left-overs and we had a really good time trying to figure out why half of these shows were banned in the first place. They did have racist elements, but only a few of them were really overt with their racism. He leaves but it is still fairly early in the evening. I realized, in my intoxicated haze, that I left the house is completely fucked up. The first floor hasn't been cleaned yet and I left it in worse condition when I left the opened cartridges all over the table. The basement was fucked up, too. I tore apart most of my plastic bins looking for rubber erasers, which can be used to clean copper contacts. Of course I didn't have any erasers. Riley left the house around 6:30pm I believe, and from that time until midnight I straighten up the downstairs. I partially re-assembled the cartridges and set them back in the book shelf Kevin bought for me earlier this year. I also took apart the NES and SNES controllers, cleaned them, and put them back together while listening to NPR. My liberal outrage was going off the charts. I shouldn't listen to those shows while high. I went to bed at 3:30am.

I think I woke up at 11am after I went to bed. Since Kevin was away to Chicagoland helping his mother with house chores, I had the house to myself. While he was gone I cleaned the whole first floor of the house. It was incredibly dusty. Plus, there are those imposter ladybugs everywhere. I'm constantly stepping on crunchy dead beetles and flicking live ones outside where they belong. I also mowed the front lawn, primarily to expel the excess gas in the gas tank, but to also mulch the autumn leaves on the grass.

Last weekend was a bit crazy, but I had a great time with Riley, my video game collection, and cleaning the house. Today I just bought Brasso from the grocery store. I guess I didn't have to badger a friend to drive me all over the shopping district in Champaign; I only had to bicycle one mile to a grocery store to buy what I needed for my cartridges. It doesn't matter. I probably won't get to finish this cleaning project until the middle of December. Until then, my games will sit, unplayable, on the book shelf.

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finding you

2009-11-06T11:37:00.000-06:00

I read this while looking for information on Michio Kaku. Did God want me to find this passage? Is nothing set to coincidence?

Of course there are alternative planes of existence. We all live on the same planet but we don't all live in the same world. Furthermore, from reading the posts on Worthy I dare say we don't all worship the same God in Christ. Everyone has their own personal take and image of God, albeit the scriptures present God as objective, nonetheless how we know him is subjective to the individual. maybe that's what the Bible means when it tells us to, "Work out your own salvation with fear and trembling".

Is that what I experienced two weeks ago? Did God really express himself to me? I really don't know.

∅

Tina Turner.

2009-10-30T11:04:00.000-05:00

I can't stand the Rain.
Against my window.
I can't stand the Rain...

∅

Exercises in futility.

2009-10-29T13:36:00.000-05:00

I wake up today because I have a big oral presentation due tomorrow, and I thought I would get a good start. I come downstairs, and I see a note written by Kevin asking me to rake the front lawn. Oh, Sweet Jesus, do I hate raking. Raking is the epitome of an exercise in futility: I could still be raking the lawn right now, and there would still be leaves present. Fantastic. So, I rake the front lawn. I fill two mulch bags full of leaves. I packed them down, and everything. I hate raking the lawn. Hate. I would rather shovel a driveway. I hate raking.

I think I am done with stupidity. I was not.

By this time, it is the late morning. I eat an early lunch because I don't want to be hungry while I assemble my oral presentation at the Urbana Free Library. I leave this house after eating, and arrive at the library before noon. I unpack my piece-of-shit laptop and turn it on. I manage to type out my introduction and conclusion to a speech I haven't even researched yet, and then I go online through the Parkland Library to try to access the academic databases for my presentation. The connection lags, only to cut to the "Cannot connect to site XYZ" warning page. OK. I tried again, and I still failed to connect to Lexis-Nexis. So, I do what any smart person does, and I op-check my internet connection. I checked my google mail, and lo-and-behold, I can connect. I then realized the reason I couldn't access the academic databases was because the Urbana Free Library is heavily, obsessively, fire-walled.

Well fuck me. Fuck me twice over, even.

So, I wasted this whole morning doing a chore that came out of nowhere, and trying to connect to an academic database through a neurotically firewalled internet connection. Naturally, I procrastinated until the very last moment to start this project. I know I'll get it done, but the overall quality will be mediocre. Now it only matters that I get it done.

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Walking through Urbana.

2009-10-24T17:49:00.000-05:00

Since today was in the low 60s and sunny, I thought I would go walking through Urbana and take some photographs of the scenery. Due to my internet and video game addiction, I didn't do this earlier in the month when the leaves started to change color, so I passed peak color of the leaves. Fortunately, I am not too far on the descending side of that Bell curve to miss some truly beautiful sights.

I am glad I went outside.

∅

Things from the mail.

2009-10-24T11:12:00.001-05:00

Back in 2006, I was really depressed, so I bought myself a Sega Saturn with a few games and a memory card. Back in 2007, I was really depressed again, so I bought myself an original Nintendo Entertainment System model 2.

I must be depressed right now again because recently, I bought myself a minty Super Nintendo off of eBay, along with a few games. I don't understand why I buy things while I feel depressed. I am actually performing well in college these days, unlike in the past. I also have a great man who loves me. Perhaps it is retail therapy. Therapy for what? Maybe I don't feel complete since I sold three of my game systems earlier in the summer. I think that would be weird, attaching my completeness to the things I own. I do believe people can be owned by things. Hell, there are whole television shows devoted to that idea: People Being Owned by Things.

Whatever. The SNES I won from eBay is in fantastic condition. There is no yellowing, which is usually present in older SNES systems. The controllers are used, but in good condition; the texturing around the direction keys of the controllers are a little worn, but the buttons are springy. The box is in fair condition, but all of the packaging and paperwork is intact. The cords are also fully intact, too. I won that auction at a sweet price; $58, which also included shipping. I scored pretty well.

Of course, no system is complete without any nice games to play. I bought from ebay, "Tetris Attack," which is a fantastic puzzle game, "Zelda: A Link to the Past," "Super Mario RPG," and "Super Metroid." After having played, and won, that game recently, I can say that game is a work of art. Literally. The music, the graphics, and the story of the game are more than the sum of its parts: It is simply a masterpiece of story-telling and mood.

While I was splurging on eBay, I also expanded my NES game collection. I bought "Contra" and "Super C," at the same time for the really sweet price of $65 together. Complete copies (box, instruction manual, dust sleeve, styrofoam insert) of those games go for $60 apiece. I scored pretty well on that sale, too.

While I was at it, I also bought the security bits that are required to open the game cartridges and systems. Game cartridges accumulate dirt and grime on the copper contacts over time, and I wanted a way to open the plastic cases to have unfettered access to the innards so I could clean my games. I don't have time to clean my entire cartridge collection, but I will in the near future. I'll probably clean my games over the Thanks Giving break. I already opened and cleaned a second SNES I won off of eBay. I'll probably sell that system since I never intended to win two SNES systems.

From miscellaneous

I feel content right now. I originally planned to buy a PlayStation 3 system at the end of this year, but I blew the bank on rebuilding my SNES collection. I guess I can get a PS3slim next year...which I probably will.

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Skip out.

2009-10-13T11:20:00.000-05:00

It has been an interesting week for me. Unlike in previous semesters at school, I'm actually doing what I need to be doing to remain a good student, for the most part. Of course I could always study more, and waste less time in the internet. Those are too distracting; They will probably remain distracting unless I move into the center of a forest and disconnect myself from these nets. However, right now my grades are good, and I actually feel good.

Last week I delivered my first of four oral presentations in my speech-101 class. Like I said in my previous post on that subject, I think I performed better than most of the class. Yesterday I accomplished two major projects: I wrangled my group together for my liberal arts class and we delivered an impromptu presentation on a piece of art that we analyzed, then; I took my mid-term exam in my speech-101 class. My group performed sufficiently well on our piece, although we (I) did overlook one complete section of the requirements for our presentation. Oops. I also feel I did really well on my mid-term exam.

The only reason why I did so was because that class is a "basic 101" course that only tests wrote memory: Those types of tests aren't based upon comprehension; they are multiple choice exams. "Basic 101" tests aren't even fill-in-the-blank. So: I did very well on it but not because I knew most of the material, I made educated guesses on the questions I didn't know. Of course I knew most of the material; I read the book, but I didn't take notes on the required chapters. I'm lucky...so far.

Even though I am lackadaisical regarding my scholarly duties, I can say with certainty that I'm doing better than I have done in the past. In my liberal arts class, two of the four groups have members who are being aloof and aren't doing their fair share of the work. One of those two groups went from four members to two! One of those individuals simply disregarded his work and isn't communicating with the group. On Friday, my speech professor set aside that class for make-up speeches for two students. They didn't show up!

I completely understand where those individuals are coming from. Going to college, studying, and doing homework, requires discipline. Discipline requires maturity. Since I have such a hoary past with maturity, I also have a tragic past with discipline and my school responsibilities. I mean, I can't even be asked to take on a full course load per semester because I know I would shirk my responsibilities -- and my academics -- for one or all of those classes. Maybe I just need to learn how to be mature, which, in turn, would enable me to be a better student. For me to do so, I need to learn to be a good student which will enable me to be more mature. This cycle is cyclical.

I have a feeling I will perform well, academically, this semester. I just wish I discovered this "secret knowledge" a few years ago. I should have completed my studies with Parkland College and gone to the University of Illinois by now, but my attitude and discipline is lacking.

But I still feel good. I should hold onto that feeling. It will help me.

∅

Recent eBay haul.

2009-10-08T11:13:00.001-05:00

Ever since I scaled down my video game collection by three consoles, I've decided to dabble in the waters of my past. I recently bought a used, but in good condition, Super Nintendo, plus four games: Super Metroid, Zelda: A Link to the Past, Tetris Attack, and Super Mario RPG: Legend of the Seven Stars.

I allotted money for my next console purchase when one of my bank CDs matured earlier this year. I intended to buy a PS3slim, but since I already blew my wad on Super Nintendo stuff, I don't think I can afford to buy a PS3slim until sometime next year. Of course...the Super Nintendo has more fun games than PS3slim, so I guess I made a good investment in my entertainment value: I would rather have a cheap system with four fun (but slightly pricey) games instead of one very pricey system with one fun, but inexpensive, game.

During my acquisitions I also expanded my NES collection by two games. I bought the two Contra games, both in very good condition for a total of $65. I've seen similar copies go for $60 each in stores and on the internet. I think that was a pretty good score.

I also started playing Super Metroid. Holy shit, that game is atmospheric. Yes, I played that game incessantly when I owned it all those years ago, but I don't think I really understood the mood of that game. The game is lonely and spooky. I mean, I can can believe how Samas Aran is really lost on Zebeth trying to destroy a galactic menace. That game is truly a spectacle of awesome game design, music, and game play. I understand why it is in the "Top Whatever" lists just about every game site and magazine.

From miscellaneous

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I was #4.

2009-10-05T22:25:00.001-05:00

I am so weird sometimes.

Back in my youth I used to be one of those nauseating kids who loved to learn. If ever there was a teacher who wanted a student to pass out papers, or read something in front of the class, I was the obsessive one who shot his hand up in the air before most of the other students in class. For that, I was made fun of, but I didn't care. I like helping out and I liked learning. (I wonder what happened to that fire between then and now?)

Cut to this passing weekend and I am compiling my notes for my first oral presentation for my speech 101 class. It was Saturday and most of my speech was done. I had the full-word outline done, and I was reciting my speech in my head. Amazingly, I felt nervousness. What?

Now it is Sunday, and I finish typing my key-word outline and my sources page. I staple everything together and I begin to actually perform my speech from the key-word outline, instead of reciting the damn thing. I begin to feel a palpable sense of dread of Monday. I couldn't believe I was feeling this way! I only had to present some speech in front of a small class of twenty people.

This morning my nervousness was still present. I don't know...I just felt shameful for feeling so weak. Last Friday was the first day of the presentations, and almost every speaker on that day barely performed adequately, I thought. They stuttered, said "Umm" and "Uhh" throughout their speeches, some of the speeches had no introductions or transitions, and a few of them fidgeted excessively. I knew I could do better than them. I am fairly certain I did, but my nervousness clouded my memory of today because I was just concentrating on not making the same mistakes the previous speakers made.

I must have done fine because of my classmates stopped me in the hall and congratulated me. Anyway, I guess I'll find out how I did later this week, since there is still one day of speeches for my class. Hopefully my subsequent speeches are less nerve-racking than today.

∅

sorrow sleep

2009-09-25T16:09:00.000-05:00

I was experiencing insomnia, like I usually do, last night. I tried to go to sleep at 11pm, but I tossed and turned for a while. I knew that this would be a difficult night for me to attempt falling asleep, so I went downstairs. I surfed the internet for about ninety minutes, and then went back upstairs. But this time, it was close to 2am.

As I lay in bed I continue to be restless. I am now getting aggravated. Eventually, I fall asleep, but my sleep is interrupted by my need to pee. The sleep I experienced before I finally got out of bed to piss was not a nice sleep; it was rife with partial consciousness. Now, it is 7:30am and I am wide awake. I know that I won't function adequately on only four hours of sleep so I try to fall back asleep.

I finally fall into a decent sleep soon after. Tragically, this sleep was interrupted by vivid depressing dreams, even though this sleep was better quality. The last dream I remember having was me hearing that my grandmother died three years ago. The biggest difference between what really happened and my dream was that, in my dream, I actually had an appropriate emotional response to that news. I remember feeling so overwhelmed by the news of her death that I bawled my eyes out. I broke through the emotional walls, that hold me back and hold all my emotions in check, and let my true feeling flow unencumbered. In real life when I heard the news of her death, only one solitary salty tear flowed down my face. I knew something was off. I even tried a mantra to get something more appropriate than one solitary tear. It didn't work. I thought that was weird. And tragic.

It almost seems like this dream I had last night set me free. Maybe. Maybe not "set free," but unleashed, untethered something that should have been released a long time ago. I really don't know. I just remember feeling a sorrow so deep and profound I think I woke up because I almost cried in my sleep.

∅

Super Nintendo, 1996

2009-09-22T20:23:00.000-05:00

OK. So I'm rebuilding my Super Nintendo collection of the past.

I did have a euphoric moment while I was bidding on eBay. I was bidding on the game Super Metroid, and I was determined to get it. I staged the digital timer to let me know when the auction would end in one minute. I enabled the one-click setting on eBay so the current bid would update in real time. I copied a bid price to the computer clip board, and I pasted the price in the bid window. I positioned my mouse pointer over the "bid now" button. I waited. The seconds counted down. My heart rate increased. My palms begin to sweat. The timer continues to count down.

10 - 9 - 8 - 7 - 6 - 5 seconds remaining in the auction. I submit my bid. SNIPED! I won the auction! Yeah. I've been sniped before. It sucked. But I still won Super Metroid so that is all that matters.

So far I already have two games I used to play, and adore. Now I just need the actual system to play them. I'm looking for a used system in very good condition. I hope I can find one.Pictures to come.

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Marine Corps Issue...

2009-08-18T19:01:00.001-05:00

Today I went through the small mountain of Marine Corps cammies, uniforms, accessories, and weird shit I picked up while I was enlisted. This process took me several hours. I'm still not done. Washing and sorting gear I haven't even set eye on for the past five years takes quite a long time. Urgh.

It is weird how good memories and bad memories are attached to the uniforms I used to wear on a daily basis. I remember the field operations I used to be a part of. Those were usually fun. I didn't like the hours, though. I remember being deployed to Afghanistan. That deployment sucked so bad, not because I was in a real war zone, but because there was too much politics, favoritism between the ranks (which is not permitted), and mundaneness mixed with outright fear for my life. I guess rocket attacks will do that. Okinawa, Japan was beautiful. I should have gone off base more often than I did. I could have eaten more Japanese food, seen Japanese sights, and visited Japanese villages, cities, and beaches. Hell, I should have gone outside more often than I did. North Carolina had its charm, too. Camp LeJeune had the beauty of a thick forest next to the ocean. That combination is pretty rare in nature. Well...maybe not in the North Eastern parts of this country and Canada. Parris Island was the best experience of my Marine Corps career. I've said that if the Marine Corps was half of what I was taught in Boot Camp, I would have re-enlisted in a heart-beat. I didn't re-enlist, and I wonder what my life would have been like if I stayed enlisted for eight years instead of four. I guess I'll never know unless I jump stream. That is the past eight years gone -- eight years ago since I first enlisted and four years since I left -- so trying to figure out where I would be now if I made different decisions would be a waste of my time. I guess I'll always wonder "what if".

I found four mesh laundry bags, one regular laundry bag, and eight laundry bag pins. Those are huge. Why do I own eight of them? I don't know. I found a new pair of combination locks that are still in the plastic. I found the patches I bought when I visited Korea. I found my original money bag I was issued in Boot Camp. It was empty. I do remember carrying $7 in it while I was getting thrashed by my drill instructors. It is weird how that was eight years ago. I found a bunch of stuff I have no use for and i don't know how to get rid of. I don't want to carelessly throw it all out, but I don't want to hold onto it for the rest of my life -- except the stuff I'm holding onto for posterity.

So: there are two piles downstairs, one bigger than the other one. The small one is for me, the large one is for removal. I wonder what I'll do with the large one.

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Illinois State Fair 2009

2009-08-16T15:08:00.001-05:00

Yesterday, Steve and Bob, and Kevin and I went to the state fair. We drove in Steve's SUV, which was pretty nice, since those vehicles have large spaces for each passenger. I can understand why they are popular...even though they are immensely fuel inefficient. I guess people also cannot be asked to sit too close to other passengers, in this country, as well.

So, the four of us arrive at the fair. Kevin said he wanted to look at the farm animals. Much to my surprise, I wanted to see them, too. I'm not usually very interested in livestock, but the thought of petting a horse or a goat made me smile inside. We walk around the livestock area of the fair and we didn't see too much in the way of farm animals. Where were they? It was the running theory that since it was late in the evening (around 7:00pm), the animals were put away for the day. Bob and I did find a horse in a stable. We stroked his face and the horse tried to lick my hand. I wasn't for that at all. After the horse experience, we eventually did find sheep, goats, and pigs. I used Steve's camera to take a few pictures of a baby goat with little horns. It was simply adorable.

After the farm animals, we all decided to eat the fair equivalent of dinner. I bought this giant turkey drumstick for $6. That was a special treat. This piece of meat was huge. I think it was worth every dollar.

Once dinner was done, it was not time for the rides. I bought the first batch of ride tickets, and we were all off to the bumper-cars. Unlike the King's Island bumper car experience, these bumper cars could actually go fast and ram other passengers with some force. The ride was fun. After that Kevin, Bob, and I went on the tilt-a-whirl. While the ride was operating, Kevin and I would shift our weight to get our car spinning with great force. My head hurt because I kept hitting it on the inside on exposed metal. The head-ache was worth it.

Then I went on the space capsule by myself. This was one of those situations in which the wait for the ride was scarier than the actual duration itself. I was actually quite relaxed. I could see Kevin and Steve watching me from the ground. I waved.

Then we all went on the octopus ride. That one is always a classic. Unfortunately I began to feel nauseous. Why? I think it was because I woke up really early for a Saturday, ran on the high school track, and didn't drink enough water. Whatever the reason I realized that if the ride continue to operate I would have completely hurled only after a few more rotations. Bob felt the same way, too.

Once we were done with that ride, we all finished the day on the gondola Ferris wheel. This was a particularly awesome experience because a fireworks display was going off right next to the Ferris wheel. It was almost like we all had a close-up experience of the fireworks. It was pretty awesome. Unfortunately, my nausea was really acute on this ride, too. I really thought I would have to hang my head over the side of the gondola and empty my stomach. That didn't happen. I was extremely grateful for that nonoccurence.

On the drive back to Urbana, I depleted a water bottle by myself. I continued to feel nauseous, so I sipped carefully. I filled up the bottle when we arrived at Steve's house. I drank that bottle again. Then, when Kevin and I got home to his house, I cleaned myself up and drank two more glasses of water. Maybe I really was dehydrated.

I go to bed and try to sleep. It is now 3am and I only half-slept. So I got up and tried to relieve myself. This was particularly difficult, not because I was constipated, but because I was still nauseous! WTF? I eventually go, and I drank some more water. I finally entered sleep when I went back to bed this time. As I am re-reading this update, I have a sneaky suspicion that my nausea might have been caused by food poisoning. Maybe that tasty turkey drumstick was contaminated somehow. Who knows?

But...I did have fun at the fair. The rides were fun. The animals were cute. I think we all might be heading to King's Island again this year, too. I was under the impression that was a once-every-two-year trip, not an annual one. I'll see what happens in the future.

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Amazon Sale

2009-08-16T15:07:00.002-05:00

Hooray. Two days ago I unloaded one of my old PlayStation 1 games on Amazon. I sold my Spyro: Collector's Edition box set, which encompassed the three original games of that franchise into...a box set.

I bought that box set when I was stationed in Okinawa, Japan, and I never broke the plastic. The box set just sat on my game shelves just collecting dust. I would occasionally look at that box set and say to myself, "Those games are really good. I'll play them one day." I never did. Since I never broke the plastic on that box set, I sold it for twice for what I paid for it. That pleases me immensely. Besides, it isn't like I won't be able to play those games ever again. (It isn't like I played those games in the first place.) I can always download them again on the PlayStation Network when I inevitably buy a PlayStation 3.

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Dead Dog Dream

2009-08-16T15:07:00.001-05:00

Last night I had a really vivid dream.

I get the feeling that it was the past in my late youth. I was walking to the Qwik Mart, in Bucksport, Maine, to go junk-food shopping, and my dog was tagging along. The strange part about the dog is that it was a black and white border collie. My family has never owned a border collie dog. We've owned mutts and stupid springer spaniels, but not border collies.

Anyway...I'm walking and this dog is acting playful. He is running around me and acting foolish. I can feel love flowing from me because I know this dog is really special and I know he loves me. I cross the street, and this dog gets hit by a car. I run back to the intersection, and the dog gimped to the sidewalk. I run over to the dog and begin to try to care for him. He obviously has broken bones, and blood is flowing. I run to a nearby house to go call an emergency veterinary service (I guess they have those in this world) and this guy shows up to take my dog away.

And then I woke up.

This dream really wasn't remarkable; It isn't like my usual psychedelic dreams I usually have. The dream was just really emotional and vivid. It is almost like I really used to own a border collie and I was reliving a memory of my past. I just remember bawling my eyes out when the dog got hit by the car. I remember feeling the tears flowing down my face. I think the dog might have even died, or maybe I was expecting the dog to die soon, so I had to make the most of my time with the dog while he was still alive. I think that was why I tried to make him comfortable before his imminent demise.

This dream was too emotional for me. Or, maybe I should say: The emotions were too intense for me to relive again when a real family dog died in real life.

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Unload: Part II

2009-07-21T15:02:00.001-05:00

I unloaded my Microsoft XBox. I traded it in for store credit at Exile on Main Street in downtown Champaign. Not surprisingly, the system and the plethora of games I traded in only netted myself $45. I was hoping for something just a bit higher, but at the same time that system is old. Plus, the games I turned in were not sought after by most gamers. Oh well.

The reason why I decided to get rid of the XBox is because I realized I really didn't want to play the games for that system. I realized, not too long after I hooked it up, that I should have sold that system plus games, at the yard sale. Maybe I would have received more money if I did that. I know that I wouldn't have been able to sell that system plus games on Amazon and expected to net myself any worthwhile profits.

Another reason is because...I already own too many fucking systems. Before the yard sale, I had game for 10 systems: Nintendo DS, GBA, Cube, 64, NES, PS2, PS1, XBox, DreamCast, Saturn. Do I have time to play all those games for all those systems? No. I do, however, like owning games, which now that I think about it, is pretty weird. Yes, I do have some nice rarities, but I wonder if I will win those games. They sure do look nice on my shelf, though.

Of course I'll miss those sweet games I don't own anymore. Jet Set Radio Future just oozed style and creativity. And love. Finding a game with creativity, style, and love is so rare nowadays I honestly wonder if gamers will realize what they will loose as the video game medium goes into the future. There are simply too many first-person shooters on the retail shelves that they crowd out anything that is not FPS. Almost all games are focus-group-fucked just to make them as broadly appealing -- and boring and uncreative -- as possible simply so a game company can maximize his investment. So sad. I also would have liked to have gotten deeper into Dai Senryaku VII, but that game was just so deep and complicated it would have swallowed all of my time. I already have grid-based tactical RPGs for my PS2 I simply had to thin the heard. Sorry, "Big Strategy."

The main reason I finally decided to unload my XBox is because I do plan on buying the PS3slim when that is released sometime soon. The rumors are running wild about a sexy, sleek Playstation 3 soon to be released on October 1. If/When that happens, I definitely pick one up. I didn't want to support an eleventh system. That would be crazy, right? Now I'll see if Sony decides to knock $50 off the price of that system. Time will tell...and hopefully soon.

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banks recently

2009-07-16T16:26:00.001-05:00

On Tuesday I closed my old Busey Bank bank account, and I opened a new one with First Federal Savings Bank. While I was working at Busey, the employees would get a sheet of the rates that all the banks in the C-U area were offering and charging on accounts and loans. FF consistently had the highest yielding APYs on its money-market checking accounts, CDs, and other interest-bearing account types. Busey Bank was in the bottom half. Maybe that bank was in the lower third. I really don't remember.

I also closed my one of my CDs I had with Navy Federal Credit Union, since it entered its roll-over period. It was my goal to have both of my CDs mature at the same time. That was not the situation; They would have matured three months apart. Ultimately, I wanted to combine those CDs into one big one and continue to reinvest that until I really needed the cash. Since my $3000 variable rate CD matures next March, I'll just combine the left-overs from this CD I closed a few months ago with the current one into one CD with a shorter roll-over cycle.

(Now all I need is a fucking job so I can set up direct deposit into my Navy Fed account. That is a pipe dream.)

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unload

2009-07-16T16:09:00.000-05:00

I can always tell when I'm feeling depressed. During these times, I don't feel like uploading my LJ. I think it is because I feel that there is "nothing going on in my life" that feels like being documented. There was a few incidences I came here to type something, but then I talked myself out of it because those respective posts would have felt like useless filler. When I update, I like to talk about things that mean something to me. I don't want to update my journal just for the sake of updating my journal.

It has been one month, and things happen. Good things. Bad things. Mediocre things. Things. I think my overwhelming indifference to just about everything concerns me the most.

Since I have a more-than-filler thing to talk about: This passing weekend was pretty good for Kevin and for me. We had our yard sale -- the yard sale that I was planning since August of last year. It went off without a hitch for all parties involved.

I knew that the things we wanted to unload wouldn't amount to a sizable yard sale, so I tasked the help from my friends and neighbors to help in our cause. Ben H. had his deceased mother's belongings he had to unload. Lady Ray donated her unwanted clothes from her household -- most of which belonged to her daughter; She simply outgrew them.

So, the yard sale encompassed the possessions of four people: Kevin, Lady Ray, Ben, and I. I decided to get rid of the books I read and no longer wanted, and the DVDs and video games I would no longer watch or play. Totally, I made back $289. The yard sale had a total of approximately $900. Poor Kevin only made $59 off of his possessions he was selling in the sale.

From yardsale2009

The only thing that bothers me is the fact I got hustled by the people I was supposed to hustle! I mean, I was hoping to sell my used, but well taken care of, video game systems for twice for what they went for. I guess Mexican immigrants know how to haggle.

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Sea Dream

2009-05-02T11:25:00.000-05:00

Yay! I had a dream that Kevin and I were somewhere in a tropical ocean swimming around an oil rig. I don't know why were were both doing that. Perhaps we were both working on the rig to drill for oil. I have a feeling that this dream originally started out as an environmental critique dream, but changed over to a personal one.

Anyway, we're swimming in the ocean, and the water is fantastically warm and blue. We're both having a good time. We're swimming around cargo containers when I see something swim past the both of us. I really couldn't identify what the sea creature was, but I had a feeling it was benign. I still freaked out a bit anyway, so we both scamper on top of a transport container when we both sun-bathe for a long time. I suggest we have sexual relations but Kevin says something along the lines of, "Everybody will see us!"

Now, I had a moment of lucidity in my dream: I realized that we were the only two people in the middle of this sea so his concern was nonsensical. In fact, his worry was downright paranoid. Honestly, it was a beautiful day in the tropical ocean: The sun was warm but not hot, the sea water was calm and balmy, the sun-bathing was relaxing and intimate. Oh yeah, there was no one else around! Why didn't he want to have sexual relations? I was confused.

We did, however, take advantage of the moment and have a prolonged make-out session. I remember the salty seawater on his skin, his wet hair between my fingers, and feeling his flexing muscles under his skin. We were both hugging and kissing each other. I would lick the sea water off his body. Oh yeah, it was very nice, that part of the dream.

And then I woke up.

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Finch Miscarriage

2009-05-02T11:24:00.000-05:00

Since it was nearing lunch, and Kevin was about to come home for the hour, I decided to start to open up the house to let some air circulate. I had to because the sink water was old and was emitting a foul odor.

Anyway, I open the front door, and the finches dart off into the nearby trees.

A little back-story: For the past week, a finch couple has been trying, fruitlessly, to build a nest behind the house number plaque. The twigs and leaves peppered the front steps in a comical display of ardent ambition. Of course, Kevin and I were wondering why a skittish bird couple would try to build a nest in a high-traffic area. Yeah, the door jamb may provide a little nesting spot for perspective bird couples. But if they are going to spazz out and fly off at the slightest disturbance, wouldn't it be prudent to...I don't know...build in another location?

So: I open the door, the finches take off. I decide to open the door to see if they finally managed to build something akin to a next. I open the door and notice immediately a broken finch egg on the front step!

Holy shit! The finches just broke their own egg by taking off into the trees! Actually, I did feel responsible because they wouldn't have flown off carelessly if I didn't scare them. Kevin did say that the birds shouldn't have attempted to build a nest in an area that is constantly being disturbed by human traffic. The stranges thing about this situation is that there is still no nest on the door jamb. I think the hen finch just laid the egg right there with the hopes of building a nest around it. Weird.

I still feel bad, however. That precious little egg looked so delicate. It could have been a baby finch, but now it is just fertilizer. How sad.

Of course, nothing happens if there aren't pictures. I took some.

From egg

I hope the finches try again, but at a different location.

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Still More Amazon Goodness

2009-05-02T11:23:00.002-05:00

I am still excited about my simple, but satisfying, Amazon store. I just sent off Lunar 2 for the PS1 to some buyer in California. I don't know why, I just always enjoyed making other people happy by the things I've sold over the years. Of course, if I don't have any use for my things, surely somebody else might, right? I think so.

The great thing about these sales is that I actually netted myself some money. I acquired my duplicate copies of Lunar 1 and Lunar 2 because they were part of a collection: The incredibly hard-to-find hard-cover game guide for L2 was in that auction. They were all $99.99. I won that auction a few years ago, and I had the duplicates just hanging around.

I realized it wasn't financially smart of me to have extra copies of games I already own just sitting there, so I listed them on Amazon. Much to my surprise, I sold L1 for around $60, and I sold L2 for $80. Totaled; I earned $140 for a net profit of $40. The thing that makes this whole dynamic so awesome is that the hard-cover game guide goes for $100 by itself. I essentially made money off of that Lunar auction by buying it for only the hard-cover book. Nice.

I hope I continue to sell on Amazon. It rocks my world.

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More Amazon Goodness

2009-05-02T11:23:00.001-05:00

Yesterday I sold my black-label edition of Final Fantasy VII for $84. Of course, Amazon had to take his commission, which means I netted myself around $69 after I paid for shipping materials. But oh well. I'm making money back. From what I can remember when I acquired that copy of FFVII, I think I got it for dirt cheap. So: I still made some money off of that copy.

I am pleased.

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America, Fuck Yeah!

2009-04-17T13:37:00.000-05:00

Holy shit! I am really, really excited, and extremely happy, right now. My customers, who have ordered from me through my Amazon store, have left me 100% Positive feedback! Whoo hoo! I was actually wondering when -- and if -- my customers were going to leave feedback at all. I read in a few forums that the ratio of customers to customers who leave feedback is 10:1. So far I shipped off three of my retro video games, and two of my customers have left glowing feedback. I am so excited.

Of course, I wouldn't have noticed my feedback at all if it wasn't for my fourth sale on Amazon. As I was logging into my Amazon account to get the send-to information, I looked at my storefront feedback rating info card, and I saw my score! Needless to say my jaw dropped.

Anyway, after I finish my pick-me-up cup of coffee, I am off to the post office. Wheee!

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herr derp derp

2009-04-09T16:28:00.000-05:00

I had a sucky beginning to a sucky week. Actually, my suckyness started last Friday. I took a test in Statistics, and I bombed the test. I wasn't surprised. This passing weekend, I finally make an agreement with myself to finally buckle down and stop being so careless with my school work. Sunday night, I set my alarm. Monday rolls around, and I realized I overslept. Why? I overslept because I forgot to engage the alarm. I set the alarm but I didn't turn the goddamn thing on! Also, for some inexplicable reason I simply couldn't wake up after sleeping for nine hours. I missed the Statistics class on Monday -- even though I shouldn't be missing that class because I only have a "C" average.

So...on Wednesday I talked to the instructor. He did give me some good news: He said that my overall average isn't terrible. I could leave that class with a "B" if I continue to get "B's" on further tests. That alleviated my concern over my grade in that class a little bit. Still: I have to deal with myself, my insomnia, and my malaise towards everything.

I feel like I am walking on the edge of a cliff: If I fall off that cliff, I'm done. I'll be living the rest of my life being a hopelessly less-than-average person doing menial jobs and being directionless. The other option is success. I just don't feel like that is possible for me simply because it feels like everything I do won't matter in the grand scheme of things. It feels like I am just taking up space and just "doing things" to keep myself busy.

Also: I wish I had a job. Yeah, finding one isn't so simple. The economy sucks right now and I have a terrible work history. Kevin asked me yesterday if I was going to the job fair at Parkland College today. I told him no. I also wanted to tell him that the reason I don't want to go is because I don't want to embarrass myself again by trying to gloss over my work history while trying to up-sell my little skill set I have to offer a potential employer. I didn't tell him that.

I'm glad I taking this summer off from school. I'll volunteer as to keep myself busy doing something relevant. I'll also finally go with Kevin to Ely, Minnesota. He went by himself the past two years and he practically begged to go along with him. The drive is long, but I think it would be worth it to simply get away from job searches, video games, and the internet.

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Slice

2009-03-25T16:09:00.001-05:00

Oops.

In my quest to do more “outside things,” I did several hours of raking and pruning yesterday. I started at 4:30pm because I was so damn lethargic. I think that was because I had no coffee yesterday. Much to my surprise I enjoyed myself. My fatigue wore off almost immediately and I was on my way.

First, I raked the gardens in the front yard. There was no problem there. I relocated my cleaning efforts to the back yard. I raked along the fence that borders Trent's property. Then I had a stellar idea: I could use the electric hedge trimmer to help me prune the overgrown bushes!

And it was fun.

I seriously reduced the size of a half-dead bush that nestles on the property line. I then cut down the bush that resides next to the compost heap. After I was done pruning, I stacked the branches with the intent of cutting them in half with the hedge trimmer, much like an ax or a chain saw. I was doing just fine at first.

Until I cut the extension cord with the hedge trimmers. That was my “oops” moment. Not only did I ruin a perfectly good piece of hardware, I also blew the fuse in the garage. So...I had to go to Trent's house and ask him where the fuse box was located. I find the fuse box, flip a few switches, and nothing happens. I got back to Trent and ask him to help me with the fuse box because my random switch-flipping activities aren't doing anything to power the garage. So: He does the exact same thing I did with the fuse box, but the lights and garage door come one for him. Figures.

So, I managed to do an outside thing yesterday, that of which I am proud of. I spend too much time indoors on the Internet; that I want to change. So, I'll see where my resolution takes me.

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Boxed in

2009-03-22T18:41:00.000-05:00

Oh, brother. I get really sick and tired of ranting about the goddamn environment.

What gave me ire? Earlier today Kevin and I decide to do an "outside thing" today, and then run a few errands. So, he decided to go to the Lake of the Woods located just north of Champaign. We arrive there and the first thing I notice is how many sub-divisions there are surrounding that tract of land. If LotW is supposed to be a preserve, it sure doesn't remind me of one. What is the point of preserving a forest if it is completely surrounded by urban sprawl? What is the point of having a piece of land "set aside for nature" when civilization is nestled literally ten feet away from the edge?

There is nothing natural about that. At all. Lake of the Woods is no more a nature preserve than Central Park in Manhattan.

Like I've said before elsewhere in my journal, it saddens me to realize that people just don't give a damn. People don't care about anything as long as they get their piece of the pie. People don't care as long as they have the huge McMansion, the three cars, and their consumerist lifestyles. Just buy, buy, buy. Just eat, fuck, shit, vegetate, sleep, and buy. And then buy some more.

After that tragic excursion, Kevin and I go to Menard's to buy a new rain gutter for the rain barrel he bought last year. As I walked in that big-box store I had an epiphany: I now know why little kids like running around in big stores so much: There is open spaces in big-box stores. Wide opens spaces don't exist now in urban areas, and they won't exist at all anywhere in the future. Urban sprawl will destroy everything. American entitlement will destroy all the open, natural areas in its pursuit of the American Dream -- in pursuit of the McMansion with the three-car garage. Consumerism and entitlement is an addiction that knows no bounds, limits, or boarders. Yes, we should just cut down that forest, plow over that field, and cut into that mountain just so we can build sub-divisions and shopping malls and airports and sports arenas. We should just cut down everything and plow over everything and just build, build, build.

Since natural, open, untouched, untamed spaces are being destroyed, the only place where people will feel any grandeur and insignificance is in shopping malls and big-box stores. All the forests will have been cut down and put in tree museums. All the fields where people used to run and play will exist only in memories. Uncluttered natural vistas will only exist in archival videos of the past.

Then humanity will realize what it lost when it doesn't have it anymore. We should stop destroying the environment now and just take a breather. We should just stop and ask ourselves if having the huge empty house and three cars and closets full of clothes and kitchen appliances is really worth the planet.

Of course, conscience is the first thing to go when people only care about their selfish needs.

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Today was Shorts Day

2009-03-17T19:00:00.001-05:00

The weather outside was too nice to pass up. Granted, I spent most of my time outdoors doing gardening, but I still had that feeling of "accomplishment" when I was done. I started at 11:40am and I knew that it would take me a while to turn over the soil in the remaining plot of land that Kevin wants to turn into a garden. Yes...I was out there for two hours.

From miscellaneous

After that escapade, I went inside and printed off the information for my second sale from my Amazon store. I am still excited that I am selling through the interweb. I bicycled to the Post Office, and sent off the Nintendo DS game Hotel Dusk: Room 214. During my bicycle trip, I took some pictures of crocuses.

From oregonstreet

I sent off the game, and then I took the bus to downtown Champaign. There, I had a salad at Aroma Cafe. The sun was hitting the Champaign County Police building just right, so I decided to take a picture.

From miscellaneous

Then, this begging bird was flitting around me trying to coax me into giving him food. I doubted he was hungry; Maybe he was just feeling gluttonous. I don't know. I tossed a walnut on the ground, and the little bird snacked voraciously on it. I tried to get a picture, but it came out blurry. I was a tad disappointed, but the bird was just adorable.

From miscellaneous

So, I had a productive day. I know Kevin will be pleased that a large portion of the new garden is turned over. That was a job-and-a-half. It took me a total of four hours and thirty minutes to do that small plot. I hope the smaller one goes faster.

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Mecha MMO

2009-03-13T23:37:00.001-05:00

I just started (re)playing Front Mission 4. Anyway, I had a stellar idea: Why couldn't SqueEnix make this franchise into a massive multiplayer online game?

Just imagine it! Instead of tired old magic, swords, and medieval settings; instead of science-fiction superpowers, you could have tens of thousands of different kinds of Wanzer parts. There could theoretically be hundreds of thousands of different configurations. Literally. Every different player could have a different Wanzer from every other player: Your Wanzer could be yours truly, unique, with different stats and abilities. They could also have army PvP Wanzer battles on a huge map grid.

If SqueEnix can ~~whore out~~ mine Final Fantasy and turn it into a MMORPG, why couldn't they do it for Front Mission? There is already an established universe. The game play mechanics are complicated enough that it would satisfy even the most stat-hungry video game player.

Anyway, I am just musing. Even though I am cheap, I would pay to play that MMORPG.

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Ship off from Amazon

2009-03-12T19:12:00.000-05:00

Hooray! This afternoon, I sent off Lunar 1, that a customer bought from me through my Amazon store. Who would have thought that Internet entrepreneurialism could be so fun! Could Amazon replace eBay? Who knows, right? It probably already has. Anyway, my main concern is making some extra cash. I need it.

Of course, my venture to find a box to ship the game was not without issue. I thought to myself that I could find a shipping box to send the game at the Meijer located in west Urbana. So, I hop on the bus and arrive at the big box. I managed to locate the section of the store that has all the packing materials, and they only have big boxes. I was vexed.

I leave Meijer and begin to bicycle up Philo Road. (It was a good thing I use a combination of public transportation and my bike to get to place.) I know that smaller shipping boxes can be found at pharmacies, so I go to the CVS on Philo. Nope. They only have big shipping boxes, too. Not giving up, I go to the Wallgreen's, and lo-and-behold, they have smaller boxes. They were bigger than what I needed, but at that time I was desperate to find something close to reasonable. (The sales associate at Meijer told me that I would probably have to go to Staples to find dedicated DVD / Book shipping boxes for my needs. I wasn't about to spend hours on the bus just to buy boxes.)

I ride back to the house was surprisingly treacherous. I brought my triangular backpack with me to carry stuff. Naturally, it wasn't big enough to hold flattened cardboard boxes. So, I tried to hang the bag from my handle-bars. That was a bad idea. The corner of the boxes were getting stuck in the spokes. Frustrated, reluctantly, I put the folded boxes in my backpack. That worked, but I was riding slowly on my bike because I didn't want to lose stuff.

I make it back to the house, tape up the box, throw in some packaging popcorn, and the game. I print off the shipping inventory from Amazon, throw that in the box, too, and seal the box shut. I quickly rode my bike (again) to the post office, and sent off the box. The shipping was two extra dollars more than what Amazon allotted me, so I had to cut into my net profits from the sale.

But...I had a blast. If someone wants my old retro games -- and if I can make some money back in the process -- I'll be more than willing to sell things online. So, I had a pretty eventful day. I just wish it was a touch warmer than it was outside. I froze my ass off riding my bike.

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